Moonrise to Dawn
by nithman
Summary: The end of the war is full of struggles and the years after aren't easy either. Even so, they always have each other, and that will never change. Zuko and Katara in a few fateful moments, seen from a variety of perspectives. Now complete, including chapters for Zutara Week 2020!
1. Morning

_AN: I really like Zutara, so this is a series of moments between Katara and Zuko, set during and after the war. I'm now adding chapters for Zutara week!_

* * *

**Morning**

_They say home is where your heart is set in stone_  
_It's where you go when you're alone_  
_As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?_

_\- "Home" by Gabrielle Aplin_

* * *

Katara wakes soon after dawn, bleary-eyed and not at all excited about the thought of making breakfast. She heads down to the courtyard in the Western Air Temple and growls in annoyance when she realizes that she isn't alone.

Zuko.

He sits with his legs crossed and his back to her, soaking in the morning sunlight. He hums in acknowledgement but otherwise makes no move to provoke her. Of course he'd be awake this early. _I rise with the sun,_ she remembers him saying so long ago, on that fateful night at the North Pole.

It hasn't even been one week since they accepted Zuko into the group, and Katara already hates how he disrupts their usual rhythm. _Her_ usual rhythm. She begins setting up the pots and pans for cooking breakfast, but she can't resist sending a barb at him.

"What are you doing up so early, jerkbender? Planning out your next betrayal?"

He doesn't reply, but Katara catches the flinch of his shoulders. Good. He better feel bad.

Some tiny part of her heart, a part that looks suspiciously like her mother, frowns in disappointment. This isn't like her, and she knows it. But what is Katara supposed to do? Just _forgive_ him? After all he's done? After he betrayed them? Betrayed _her_?

When neither of them say anything more, Katara resumes setting up the pot, measuring out rice and water with a cup. She winces. Their food supplies are dwindling faster than she anticipated, and being in an abandoned air temple in the middle of nowhere does not help the situation. Everyone will be eating smaller meals for a while.

It also doesn't help that the elevation makes the air cold and damp, she thinks. Katara strikes the spark rocks over and over. The wood just wouldn't catch fire.

She finally gives up and sighs in frustration. As she raises her hands, about to bend the water out of the wood to make it drier, Zuko turns around and snaps his fingers. Sparks fly from his fingertips and land right on the firewood, setting it ablaze.

"I didn't _ask_ for your help!" she snaps.

He flinches again and bows his head apologetically. "Sorry."

Katara mumbles an incoherent string of insults as she moves back and forth, setting the pot of rice above the fire, counting fruit to see how much they need to gather today, putting out plates and utensils for when the kids would wake.

When she's finally done and has a moment to rest, she realizes Zuko is no longer watching the sun. He's gazing at her.

She shoots him a death glare. "What are you looking at?"

To her surprise, this time he doesn't flinch.

Zuko half-smiles. "My mother used to have that same expression on her face when she cooked breakfast. As if she were juggling a thousand things at once."

"Nope, no way am I listening to you," she retorts. "Not after what you did in Ba Sing Se. You are not going to talk about your mother again. I don't _care_." Even as she says it, she knows it's a lie. She hides behind another insult. "Didn't you have servants doing the cooking, anyway, seeing as your mother was Fire Lady and all? Why would she deign to get her hands messy?"

Zuko shrugs, turning back to face the sun. "She loved to cook. Didn't get many chances at the palace, but sometimes, when we went on vacations to the beach house on Ember Island . . ."

"Of course you have a beach house," Katara scoffs sarcastically. "Why am I not surprised? Were you on vacation when the firebenders were burning down my tribe's villages?" Zuko's shoulders visibly droop at that.

They share a long moment of silence. She huffs. Of course he has no reply.

"What is it like?"

Katara freezes. "What?"

Zuko turns to face her once again. "What is life like, in your tribe?"

"Why do you care?"

When he doesn't have an answer, she huffs again.

She has no reason to answer him. He doesn't deserve to know, anyway.

Then why does she want to tell him? Katara sighs and starts speaking reluctantly. "It was . . . it is great. Winters are cold, but summers aren't so bad. Gran Gran makes amazing sea prune stew . . . the best in the village."

Even as she speaks, a piercing homesickness fills her bones, pounding in her veins. She closes her eyes and imagines everything she's left behind.

"In the spring we go racing on otter penguins. Sometimes we cut holes in the ice and catch fish. And in summertime there are plants. Not many, and most of them aren't edible, but arctic raspberries are the best . . . we stock those up for winter. On the darker winter days, we huddle around the big campfires and tell stories. And sometimes at night, these beautiful lights fill the sky. The Spirit Lights, we call them. Gran Gran said they're friendly spirits that dance to make us smile." Her voice breaks. "Sometimes, I just sit on winter days and watch the snow falling, one snowflake at a time . . . it's . . . it was . . ."

Katara shuts her eyes tighter to try to hold back the flood of tears, but they shoot open again when she feels a calloused thumb brush the teardrops from her cheek. Somehow, without her noticing, Zuko has moved to sit right beside her.

She immediately bends a waterwhip, shoving him backward. "Get away from me!"

Zuko looks away, trying and failing to hide the hurt in his eyes. He stands up slowly, still dripping water, and turns his gaze back to the sun.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

Katara stares at her feet. She just broke down crying, in front of Zuko of all people. She takes another piece of firewood and sets it into the blaze, pointedly ignoring Zuko. For a moment, the crackle of the fire is all she hears, the mesmerizing shapes and shadows and colors are all she sees.

"It sounds beautiful."

For the second time that morning, she freezes in shock. "What?"

"Your life at the South Pole," he says softly. She wonders why both of their voices have dropped so low in volume, as if they're sharing a secret. "Every part of it sounds beautiful."

She doesn't have a snarky reply to that.

"I'd like to go back there someday," he continues, "after this war is over. Not as a firebender, not as an invader, but as a friend." He gives her a sad glance. "But the chances of that are low, seeing as I attacked your village and all. They would probably feed me to the polarbear-dogs if they ever saw me again."

She doesn't have an answer. Some part of her wants to reply that the Water Tribe would never accept him back, that _she'd_ never accept him. But the way Zuko talks about _'after the war,'_ as if it isn't even a possibility that they might lose the war . . . it plays at her heartstrings.

Why is it so hard for her to hate this boy?

"They might forgive you someday," Katara whispers, hoping he doesn't hear. She pauses. "But I _won't_. Why do you suddenly care about my people anyway? You never seemed to care about anything back when you were chasing Aang."

Zuko stares at her, surprised by this sudden turn in attitude, but when she glares back at him, he shrugs. "Life has given me a change in perspective. I realized there were a lot of things I don't know about the world. I just wanted to know what your home is like. I thought it would help me understand _you_ a little more."

A long silence overtakes them.

Katara wants to tell herself that she doesn't believe what he said, but she does.

Even when he was her enemy, Zuko always was honest.

He wants to know more about her, so Katara decides that she wants to learn about him too. For intelligence purposes, of course. It's not that she cares about his home or his feelings or what he thinks of her. She has to understand the enemy.

"Do you ever . . . miss the Fire Nation?" Katara asks haltingly, as if each word is a struggle.

"Not really." His familiar rasp fades for a second, like a dimming fire. "I think I dreamed of going home for so long that when I finally went home, it was all disappointing to me. I wasn't happy there, and it took me so long to realize that. The palace was never a home to me."

She isn't sure what to make of that.

"The only place I miss is Ember Island," he continues. "It was different from the rest of the Fire Nation islands. Somehow, it's one of the places I've felt closest to the spirit world. The beach, and the perfect blue ocean. Warm sand between your toes, the salt on the breeze. The waves kick up the water in a spray, and sometimes the sunlight catches in the droplets in just the right way, and they sparkle like diamonds. The best parts of my childhood were on that beach."

Katara finds herself absorbed in his words against her will, imagining every detail he described with perfect clarity.

"And the nights . . ." Zuko closes his eyes. "Every star and fire and firefly seems brighter on Ember Island, as if the darkness there is just _darker_. And the moon, I've never seen it brighter anywhere else." He pauses and looks at her. "I think you would like Ember Island."

She wants to disagree with him, but her tongue won't obey her.

"Yeah," she replies softly. "It sounds amazing."

They share a long silence.

"I should wake up Aang," Zuko finally says. "I know I just joined you guys, but we need to get started on his firebending training, and it's best to start early in the day." Katara nods stiffly, regaining her usual scowl, but she finds it a bit more difficult than usual.

The firebender begins to walk away. A strange sense of incompleteness fills her.

"Zuko," she calls.

He turns around.

"Don't think this changes _anything_ between us," she begins. "But . . . I really would like to see Ember Island one day."

Zuko stares at her for a moment, then smiles softly. That feeling of incompleteness fades away like mist in the warm morning sunshine.

"My uncle once said, destiny is a funny thing," muses Zuko. "We've been all over the world. Who knows where we'll end up next? It might anywhere, maybe even the South Pole or Ember Island. I'll be happy either way." With that, he spins on his heel and walks away, still smiling.

And Katara finds that no matter what she tells herself, she can't hate that smile.

Not at all.

. . .

A few days later, when they arrive at the Ember Island beach house and Katara sees the beach for the first time, she remembers Zuko's words and grins.

Ember Island really is perfect.

The happy days they spend there only cement the feeling for her. Katara knows that her home isn't a place, but the people she cares about. Even so, if she has to pick any place to call home besides the South Pole, the beach house is the first thing that comes to mind.

_. . ._

_Many years later, when they have their wedding at the South Pole and their honeymoon at Ember Island, Katara laughs and says, "Destiny really is a funny thing."_


	2. Details

_AN: Toph is my favorite character, second only to Iroh. I think she knows more about the world than she lets on._

* * *

**Details**

_Oh, my, my, you just took me by surprise_  
_And I can't believe my eyes_  
_I must be seeing blind_

_\- "Seeing Blind" by Niall Horan_

* * *

Toph has always been observant, though she doesn't always share what she sees.

On that fateful day when they leave the Western Air Temple, Toph sees the battle, and everything else that the others see, from a different perspective. It all goes by so fast, yet as she now sits on Appa's back, she has time to ponder some of the surprising details.

Conclusion one: _Azula is crazy._

Toph doesn't even have to think much about that one. She heard the girl's voice cutting through the air earlier, though she's sure nobody else except Zuko heard it. "_I'm about to celebrate becoming an only child!" _The tone was so slanted, so sharp and fragile, like cracked glass. In Toph's experience, only crazy people talk like that.

The other thing that convinced her of that? Zuko battled Azula on the top of an _airship_, for crying out loud. If he somehow survived that, it means either his firebending has drastically improved (unlikely) or Azula's has deteriorated. Even more evidence that something is wrong with the Fire princess.

Toph nods to herself. Azula is not quite sane. She'll have to tell Zuko about it sometime.

And speaking of Zuko . . .

Conclusion two: _Katara doesn't really hate Zuko. _The opposite, actually.

Toph has three details that convinced her of this. First, Katara's heartbeat spiked when Zuko walked away earlier, saying he would take on Azula and the airships alone. Second, Toph could tell that while Sokka and Aang were trying to calm Appa, Katara's head was turned away. Her gaze was probably locked on the direction Zuko had gone. Toph figures that was probably due to worry, and not due to excitement that he might die.

Third, Katara saved him when he fell from the airship. Any of them, Sokka or Aang or Suki, could have done it, but Katara was the one to jump up and reach out her hand. Toph felt Zuko collapse onto Appa's back, gasping for breath, and she heard Katara's quiet sigh of relief. And that sealed it for Toph.

Sugar Queen doesn't hate Zuko. Nobody can really hate Zuko, after they get to know him. Toph smiles to herself. Something must have changed.

The two aren't friends yet, but Toph has a feeling that might change soon, too.

She'll just keep her feet to the ground and keep watching until it does.

. . .

Toph grins as she feels Katara hugging Zuko on the dock. The two have just returned after their little field trip looking for her mother's killer, barely days after they left the Western Air Temple. Zuko helped Katara come to terms with her mother's death, and Katara has finally forgiven him.

And the earthbender certainly notices the way both Sugar Queen's and Sparky's hearts are racing.

Conclusion three, thinks Toph:

_Toph is _always _right._

. . .


	3. Midnight

_AN: Set during that weird moment during the Southern Raiders when Zuko sits outside Katara's tent all night._

* * *

**Midnight**

_For fear of moments stolen,_  
_I don't want to say goodnight_  
_But I'll still see you in the morning_  
_Still know your heart and still know both your eyes_

_\- "Lost" by Dermot Kennedy_

* * *

Katara knows he's waiting outside.

Why is Zuko sitting outside her tent? He probably wants to talk to her, but it's long past midnight, and any sane person would have left to sleep already.

She isn't sure if it annoys her, or doesn't annoy her, or if it's both at the same time. On the one hand, he keeps her from falling asleep. The moonlight casts his shadow on the wall of her tent, all jagged lines and dark edges, and she can't take her eyes off of it. On the other hand, she wouldn't have fallen asleep anyway.

All the hurtful things she said to him that evening are still kept in the back of her mind, but that isn't what keeps her awake.

It's the nightmares.

Katara _has_ to sleep. She has chores to do the next morning and nobody else will do them. She has a family to take care of, an Avatar to train. She can't afford to lose any more sleep . . . but the nightmares don't care about that. Katara sighs and closes her eyes, thinking she should at least try to fall asleep again.

But the moment the darkness covers her mind, it all comes rushing back.

She sees two faces in a house. Her mother and a tall firebender with hatred in his eyes, framed against frozen snow-white walls.

"_Just let her go, and I'll give you the information you want."_

Her mother's blue eyes were filled with terror, but not for herself: fear for Katara's safety. At that young age, Katara didn't really understand the idea of fearing for someone else, but now she knows exactly how her mother had felt. Katara now feels the same terror every day when she thinks of Aang, the sweet and innocent kid she's always known, destined to fight . . . and kill . . . the Fire Lord one day.

"_You heard your mother. Get out of here!"_

Cruelty.

As a child, the only fires Katara knew were the bright, lively campfires and hearthfires that kept her people warm in the dead of winter, the fires that brought families together, the fires that cooked and strengthened and healed.

But for the first time in her life, Katara saw the other side of fire reflected in that angry man's eyes.

Violence, hatred, war. A wild beast lashing out at anything within its reach. Cruel fire.

For the rest of her life since that day, that's the only fire she's known.

"_Go find your dad, sweetie. I'll handle this."_

After the raid was over, Hakoda and Katara went running back to the igloo. It was too late. Hakoda tried to cover his daughter's eyes, but Katara saw everything, and she remembered. She _still_ remembers.

A charred black corpse. Ash covering the snow. The stench of burning flesh.

Her mother is dead. Her mother was burned to death, and nobody remembers her last moments except Katara. Her mother was murdered by a firebender, and now Katara is alone . . . so cold and lost and alone.

"_Mom, I'm scared."_

Katara's eyes shoot open and fill with tears. Her lungs are collapsing in on themselves, her heart pounding, an acrid taste rising up her throat.

She's alone.

And then the moonlit shadow shifts.

Katara blinks away her tears and swallows the bile in her throat, gazing at the tent wall. Zuko's silhouette slowly gets to his feet. He turns away from her tent and tilts his head upward. What is he doing? She creeps over to the entrance, staring through the tiniest crack in the door flap to see.

Zuko is gazing at the moon, a soft ball of fire flickering in his hand for warmth.

She doesn't understand it, doesn't understand _him_. He's supposed to be cruel. He's supposed to be the enemy. He's a _firebender_.

But the fire in his hand is soft and gentle, its light comforting.

After a long moment, she gives up and joins him, gazing through that tiny crack in the door at the silver glow so far above. Zuko never even notices her. She watches the moonlight falling around his figure, the wind ruffling his dark hair, his slow breaths drifting in and out in perfect harmony with the tides of the ocean before him.

And after a while, Katara realizes she was wrong.

She has Yue watching over her, Zuko's shadow keeping her company, memories of her mother warming her soul like a soft crackling hearthfire.

Katara has never been alone.

Somehow, knowing that tiny fact makes the nightmares just a little less real. And as sleep slowly overtakes her, Katara has to admit she isn't so annoyed anymore that Zuko is sitting outside her tent like a creepy stalker dude.

. . .

_Long after the war, Katara and Zuko stand on a balcony overlooking Ba Sing Se, reminiscing about that fateful moment in the Agni Kai against Azula. _

"_I was so scared," Katara whispers, closing her eyes, remembering every detail of the lightning bolt that had struck his chest. "Scared that you'd leave me alone."_

_Zuko puts a hand over hers on the railing._

"_I'd never leave you alone," he declares softly._

_Katara thinks back to a dark moonlit night and smiles, intertwining her fingers with his. __"I know, Zuko. I know."_


	4. Heart

_AN: This is set after they find the wrong captain during the Southern Raiders. I know bloodbending is creepy, but seriously, why hasn't anyone in-universe considered some of the much darker uses for the other bending arts?_

* * *

**Heart**

_When you're with me, no judgement_  
_You can get that from anyone else_  
_You don't have to prove nothing_  
_You can just be yourself_

_\- "No Judgement" by Niall Horan_

* * *

Katara can still feel it.

The pounding of that firebender's heart between her fingers, his lifeblood racing at her call. Every drop of liquid in his body bowing to her will. Complete, total control.

That was _power_. Pure power. It was intoxicating.

She shudders as she lies on Appa's back, staring up at the full moon in the sky. Tonight, every time she sees the silver orb, it's no longer the face of her dear friend Yue that comes to Katara's mind. It's the cold glint of moonlight, reflected in Hama's ancient eyes. The full moon. It pulls out all the cruelty and anger and darkness within her, twisting her personality so violently. Looking back now, Katara doesn't even recognize herself.

She wants to deny what happened barely minutes ago. _It wasn't me, it wasn't me! I wasn't in my right mind!_ screams her conscience, but some pitch-black corner of her heart whispers back, _No. It was you, you chose to do it . . . you _wanted _to do it._

And that's the ugly truth, the truth that makes her stomach churn in self-disgust, the truth that makes her eyes fill with tears.

She was convinced of that captain's guilt, and she wanted to make him suffer.

Katara chose to bloodbend, and the guilt is tearing her apart.

_I'm a monster._

Zuko knows

Katara stares at his back as he flies Appa, his outline barely visible in the early morning darkness. He was there, he saw her do it, and Katara knows he's smart enough to put two and two together. What does he think of her now? He knows she still dislikes him, so how could he possibly still stay near her without being terrified for his own life?

Katara swallows the bile in her throat.

_I will never hurt him,_ she vows to herself. _Not like that, not with bloodbending._

And somehow, she knows it's true. She would never subject him, or anyone she cared about, to that kind of pain. But since when did she care about him, anyway? Since when did she care what he thought, how he felt, what happened to him?

"Katara . . ."

His voice drifts through the dark, like embers on the wind.

She bites her lip. Here it comes, her reckoning.

"What was that _thing_ you did on the ship?" he asks quietly. "That captain, it looked like . . . like you were bending his _bones_."

"His blood," she corrects, her voice barely a whisper. "I bent his blood."

Katara watches him carefully. No reaction, save for a tiny nod of acceptance. She frowns. What is it with this guy? She just can't understand him.

"_Well?_ Aren't you scared? Aren't you terrified?" Her voice begins to gradually rise in pitch as all the terror and self-hatred leaks through her carefully constructed walls. Like water behind a dam, her volatile emotions can't be kept in forever.

He gives no reply.

And the dam shatters. "_Why don't you say anything, Zuko?!_ Can't you see it? Say it! _I'm a monster!_ I could kill you right here, right now! The moon is still out, all it would take is a wrong word, a moment of lost control, and I could cut off the blood to your _brain_, or make your heart _implode_, or turn your stomach inside out and let the acid eat through _each and every one_ of your organs! I could tear your muscles apart, _piece by piece_, and then heal them back together, and then do it all over again! I could . . . I could . . ."

Katara can't even finish the sentence. She collapses into helpless sobs and buries her face in her hands, unwilling to face the world, unable to face _him_.

"You could do all those things," agrees Zuko. She looks up through tear-blurred eyes. He gazes at her out of the corner of his vision. "I know you could do all of those things, Katara. You know why I'm not scared?"

She stares at him mutely, her heart hopeful, her soul desperately begging for any answer to show her that she wasn't a monster.

"Why?" she whispers.

"Because you didn't do any of them."

. . .

They're both silent for many hours after, and when they finally spot the island where Yon Rha was said to live, Katara has her emotions under control.

The rising sun paints the eastern sky, bathing it in cascading shades of red and pink and gold. Katara immediately notices the effect it has on Zuko. His shoulders straighten, his muscles relax, and his head is held just a little bit higher.

Zuko has never seemed afraid of the sun, not like Katara is afraid of the moon. Why would he be?

"I've been thinking," he suddenly says, still not looking at her. "That technique . . . bloodbending. I can't even imagine how you must feel when you use it. It's a dark art." Katara's heart falls. He's changing his mind. "But it got me thinking," he continues. "What about the other elements? The human body is made of more than water, you know. The air in our lungs, the salt in our flesh, the minerals in our bones. And lightning."

Katara's eyes widen.

"If I could learn to bend lightning," says Zuko, "even just in tiny amounts . . . the human body contains lightning too. Can you _imagine_ the potential? If I could bend the lightning in people's nerves? In their _brains?_ Sure, bloodbending controls the body, but just imagine! This _nervebending_, you could control so much more . . . not just how a person moves, but also the sensations they feel, and even their thoughts or their memories."

Katara has to admit, that is a horrifying theory.

"But what scares me most," finishes Zuko, "is that if _I've_ had this idea, someone before me has definitely had this idea too." Katara bites her lip as he turns to look at her. "You're not alone, Katara. There have been others who found these dark powers, and I don't think they felt any better than you about using them. Where did you learn bloodbending, anyway?"

Katara shudders at the memory. "It was a technique I was forced to learn, from an old waterbender named Hama. We met her in the Fire Nation . . . she used to be in prison there, but she broke out. She was disguising herself as an innkeeper, using bloodbending to torture Fire Nation citizens for revenge." Zuko winces at Katara's story. "As far as I know, I'm the only one she taught it to."

Zuko is silent for a moment, then he nods. "I'm glad."

"Why?" she asks.

"My uncle once said, it's important to draw wisdom from many places." Zuko smiles. "You're a healer, Katara. Bloodbending is a logical part of waterbending, and just because it has so much dark potential, doesn't mean it has to be used for evil. Who knows? Maybe someday, you'll find a way to use it to help people."

"No," Katara says flatly. "Bloodbending _is_ evil. It brought out a side of me that I don't know, a side that enjoys hurting people, and that scares me. Don't you see? Bloodbending _breaks _the part of me that cares about the pain of others."

He shakes his head. "You're not broken. Not at all. Of all the people I know, if they were given such a terrible power, you're one of the few who would be strong enough not to be broken by it."

The words take a moment to sink in, but when they do, she still can't understand.

Why? Why does he place so much faith in her?

"You don't know me as well as you think, Zuko," she says quietly.

"Maybe not," he replies. "I've only known you for a little while. But for all the time I've known you, you've always done the right thing. Even if you think bloodbending is wrong and it makes you a monster, I admire you more now, because you have the ability to do terrible things, but you don't. I think that shows how strong you are. I trust you, Katara. I'd trust you with my life."

All Katara can do is take the words as they are. She wonders when this bratty, arrogant Fire Nation prince became so wise. And as they descend toward on the island, as she watches his silhouette moving in the soft glow of the dawn, Katara finally finds a reply, whispering it under her breath.

"I would trust you with mine first."

. . .

_Sozin's Comet, the bloodred sky, Azula raging against her chains in the background, none of it matters._

_Zuko is all that matters._

_And she remembers his words. _"_Who knows? Maybe someday, you'll find a way to use it to help people."_

_His heart is deathly still, killed by lightning, but Katara's is pounding out of her chest. Pure fear and shock and terror course through her veins. She prays to every god and spirit she knows, begging that she isn't too late to save him, begging that they would forgive her for breaking her vow to never bloodbend Zuko._

_There is no full moon. The intensity of her emotions is more than enough to give her strength._

_She reaches out with her will and takes control of his heart._

_Push, pull. Push, pull._

_Maybe bloodbending makes her a monster. Maybe it has broken her, is breaking some small part of her every time she uses it. __But even when she found herself broken, Zuko was always there to help her pick up the pieces._

_If she loses him, Katara will be broken beyond repair._


	5. Turtleducks

_AN: I just rewatched Avatar and now I remember why I like Zutara so much. This was meant to be the last of this series of oneshots, set after Zuko's coronation, but while my brain tells me to stop, my heart demands more Zutara, so there is more coming._

* * *

**Turtleducks**

_ Dear happy, don't go_  
_I'm not there but I'm close_  
_I just always thought I'd never win_

_\- "Dear Happy" by Gabrielle Aplin_

* * *

He can't take it.

The weight is too heavy. He can feel the crown in his hair, but the weight is in his soul. He stumbles away from it all, from the laughter and the dancing and the clear haunting notes of the tsungi horn, away from his coronation dinner's afterparty in the middle of the night.

Zuko staggers through the open halls in the dark. He knows the way.

Finally, by the light of the moon, he finds it.

The turtleduck pond.

He staggers to a stop beside it and collapses onto the grass, ripping the crown out of his topknot and tossing it on the ground beside him. He lies back and sighs, running his fingers through his hair and freeing it. Zuko breathes easy for the first night in many weeks.

Well, he doesn't quite breathe easy. His chest constricts as he inhales, feeling the sting of a star-shaped scar. He's still getting used to it.

The enormity of the responsibility he's taken on is beginning to overwhelm him. It was easy enough to go through a coronation ceremony and give a speech, but he knows that's nothing compared to what's coming. He is the Fire Lord. The burden of the war is on his shoulders.

How could he possibly make up for_ one hundred years_ of genocide and conquest and tyranny?

He's still just a boy.

Moments flash before his eyes. His conversation with Aang just before the coronation. His awkward kiss with Mai. Ember Island. The Boiling Rock. Finding the last dragons. Serving tea in Ba Sing Se. Hard days on the road as a refugee. Swimming under the ice and stealing the Avatar from under the Water Tribe's noses. A pillar of blue light in the cold southern sky. His father's fist.

It's hard to believe he's seen so much. He's changed so much.

In the back of his mind he knows that he's replaying all these memories in an attempt to ignore the one fresh memory that won't leave him alone. The crackle of lightning.

"Zuko?"

There she is, dark and proud, blue eyes shining in the moonlight. Her expression radiates worry.

"Katara."

"What are you doing out here?" she chides. "Tomorrow is the first day of your rule! You should be sleeping!"

He sighs. "I know."

Katara gazes at him, her expression unreadable. He pulls himself up into a sitting position and pats the grass next to him. Without question, she sits down crosslegged beside him. Fireflies dance around them, among the grass, above the still water of the pond. The silence is warm and comfortable, almost tangible.

She's waiting for him to talk but he doesn't know what to say.

"Can't sleep?"

He nods. Katara hums in reply. "Neither can I," she admits. "I wanted to find a place to practice waterbending. To clear my mind, you know? Iroh said this was the nicest pond."

"It is," Zuko replies. "It was my mother's pond."

Katara smiles. "Your mother had good taste! Are those her turtleducks?"

Zuko's voice is caught in his throat.

He looks away from the sleeping turtleducks in the water, pointedly ignoring the warm tears pooling in his good eye. A hand covers his own on the grass.

"Zuko, are you . . ."

He can't stop it. The tears flow free and silent down his face. He closes his eyes as he hears Katara gasp. Immediately, two strong arms pull him forward into an embrace.

"Zuko. Hey, Zuko, it's okay. It'll be okay."

The tears don't stop. Zuko doesn't know how long he sobs before he pushes her away.

"I'm sorry," he says. "It's just . . . a lot."

She smiles understandingly. "It's okay to cry once in a while, Zuko. I know it's been a hard week for all of us. What's wrong?"

"I never really thought I'd make it this far," he confesses. "And now that I'm here . . . I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. I don't deserve to be Fire Lord."

"Zuko." Katara leans forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. "If anyone is strong enough to be Fire Lord, it's you. Besides, you won't have to do it alone! You have Aang to help you set the world straight, and you have Mai to support you, and you have Iroh whenever you need advice, and the Gaang will come and visit when they can, and . . ."

She falters. Her hand moves down from his shoulder and slowly settles over the scar on his chest. They're incredibly close, so close that he can see the flecks of silver in her blue eyes.

"And you'll always have me," Katara says.

Zuko ignores the way his heart flutters and takes her words at face value. She'll always be his friend, and he'll always be hers. That much is true. They've burned too deep into each others' hearts to ever lose their bond now.

And yet . . .

She's so close. Zuko fights the force drawing him closer, telling him to cover the distance. No. That wouldn't be right. Not to her, not to anyone.

He inhales slowly, bowing his head. "Thank you, Katara."

Katara laughs. "I already told you Zuko, I should be the one thanking you." She pauses. "I'll never forget it, okay? Never." Her eyes seem to shine with desperation and the glow of blue lightning. "I want you to know that."

"I know," he says. Somehow his hand finds hers above his scar. "Neither will I."

Katara grins weakly. They sit in silence for a moment before her smile fades and she sits back, increasing the distance between them abruptly. "I just . . . it's really late. I should probably go. Aang will be looking for me. He wanted to leave for the Earth Kingdom early tomorrow morning."

Zuko feels his heart sink, but he nods.

"This was nice," she says as they both stand, her smile returning. "I hope we can talk again like this someday."

"You guys better come visit once in a while," he replies dryly, "or I'll send Jun to hunt you down."

Katara's eyes widen as she chuckles. "Did you just make a joke, Zuko? I can't believe it! Spirits, what is this world coming to?" Zuko can't help returning the laugh. Her smile turns sadder. "Are you coming to see us off tomorrow?" she asks hopefully.

He wants to, but he can't. He just can't bear to see her go. "I'll be too busy," he lies. "Sorry."

"Oh." Her eyes seem to dim. "Well that's okay. Say goodbye to Mai for me."

"Yeah," he replies. "Tell Aang and the others I said goodbye too."

"I will."

The comfortable silence they had shared earlier is gone, replaced by this fragile awkwardness that Zuko has no idea how to handle.

They're both staring at their feet. Suddenly she launches herself towards him, wrapping her arms around his chest. Zuko winces but immediately returns the hug. "Sorry," she murmurs, but she doesn't let go. He can feel her struggling not to cry. "Sorry. I'm just scared. We'll still be friends? You won't die on me?"

"Of course Katara," he answers. "You'll always be welcome here. And I try to keep a habit of not dying."

He can feel her muffled laughter on his shoulder. She pulls away, eyes gleaming sadly but with a bright smile. He returns it, and never in his life has he smiled as wide as he is now, for no reason at all except the girl standing in front of him.

"Goodbye, Zuko."

"Bye, Katara."

She turns away. "I'll be back soon."

Zuko looks up at the moon and thinks he understands how it must feel, so far from the warmth of the sun, alone in the midnight sky. It feels as if his heart has just lost its own sun. But even so far from any sunlight, the moon still shines bright and proud, so Zuko decides he will too.

. . .


	6. Bitter

_AN: Okay, although my instincts tell me I'm gonna run out of plot soon, here's more Zutara._

* * *

**Bitter**

_Staring at the bottom of your glass_  
_Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_  
_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

_\- "Let Her Go" by Passenger_

* * *

"They're kissing, aren't they?" he asks.

He can't see them from where he's sitting, but Toph certainly can.

Toph nods. Zuko accepts the answer and doesn't react.

The rest of the Gaang is happily chatting and roasting Sokka's drawing skills, while Aang and Katara are alone outside. Toph and Zuko are quietly sitting in a corner, sharing a moment of what Zuko likes to think of as civilized company. Zuko takes a sip of his tea, feels it washing down his throat, feels the heat pooling in his stomach, right below his lightning scar.

Toph frowns. "This doesn't bother you?"

"What's to be bothered about?"

She blinks and turns her blind gaze on him. "Don't give me that ostrichhorse dung. I can feel your heartbeat, Sparky."

"Katara's a big girl," he replies. "She makes her own decisions."

Toph snorts. "But Twinkletoes is _twelve_. And he seems to have brainwashed himself into thinking he's in love. You're really gonna let him do that?"

"He has to learn maturity somehow," says Zuko. "A relationship will be good for him."

"It'll end badly, Sparky, and we both know it."

Zuko hums. "Maybe that's for the best. If life has taught me anything, it's that pain is the best teacher."

"Bleh," Toph eloquently replies. "Sounds like something your father would say."

"Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

The earthbender laughs. "Sparky, you are the furthest thing from your father that you could possibly be."

"I don't know," he replies. "A few months as the Fire Lord has really helped me understand why my father loved to use fear as a method of control. Fear really gets things done. I'm starting to think I might end up acting like him."

Toph gives him a gentle punch to the shoulder. Zuko is glad he's already finished his tea, or it all would have spilled.

"That's what friends are for, stupid. We'll keep your head straight on your shoulders."

Zuko smiles and ruffles her hair in retaliation, ignoring her disapproving scowl. "I know you will."

"Especially _her_," says Toph quietly. "She's been really good for you." When he doesn't reply, Toph sighs. "You know today settles it, right? She's out of your reach. Aang never stays still, and he knows you've got the Fire Nation under control, but the rest of the world needs him. Katara will go wherever he goes. You're really okay with that?"

Zuko takes a deep breath.

"You won't ever see her if she's with Aang," Toph repeats.

"Sometimes, Toph, it's not about being strong enough to achieve what you want," he answers. "It's about being strong enough _not_ to."

He stares at the dregs of his tea, dark and bitter.

. . .

He thinks on the hours after the Agni Kai.

The moment he collapsed, feeling his heart failing. The warm glow of blue water, bright tears and cerulean eyes. The minute of adrenaline-fueled clarity when he saw Katara, when he rose to his feet, when he found his sister shattered and broken. His second collapse. The days in bed drifting in and out of consciousness, the blue glow behind his eyelids constant and comforting. Whispered words throughout the night, snippets of songs and lullabies, loose threads of rambling stories.

An unrecognizable warmth against his ribs and the tickle of hair on his skin when she fell asleep from exhaustion.

A gradual lessening of pain, and a gradual return of thought and feeling.

And on the third day, when he finally found the strength to use his voice, the strength to move, he had been knocked right down again by a bone-crushing hug. And Zuko had returned the embrace, and his heart had fluttered, but his mind had steeled.

Because Zuko had just found something priceless, and in his life, good things never lasted long.

. . .

Night has fallen on the Jasmine Dragon.

He's standing alone on the balcony, avoiding the crowds.

The Gaang is inside, finishing up dinner. The teahouse is swarming with activity, as Uncle has hired caterers to serve free meals for its grand reopening banquet. Everyone of importance in Ba Sing Se is here to congratulate his uncle. The Avatar is greeting nobles, the Gaang is socializing, and Uncle is fluttering among the various guests like a lightning-zapped butterfly. Zuko is incredibly proud.

This was his uncle's dream, and Zuko is glad at least one member of their family has the chance to live the way they want to.

He isn't jealous. Though young in spirit, Uncle is old, and it's about time the man settled down and enjoyed his retirement. The young Fire Lord doesn't want to think of that, but he can't help it. Only the spirits know how many years Iroh has left in this world.

Without him, Zuko will . . .

Zuko doesn't know what he'll do. Without Uncle, he'll be lost and alone.

His grip on the railing stiffens. Zuko's eyes take in all of Ba Sing Se. The city is beautiful at night, all aglow with lights from thousands of windows and streetlamps, the walls rising in solid shadow like a false horizon.

He gazes at the full moon, and the full moon gazes back.

"I guess you'd understand, huh?" whispers Zuko. "Are you happy now? Whenever you see Sokka, are you happy for him? I don't know how to feel. I mean, I have Mai, and that should be enough . . . but why? Why doesn't it feel right?"

The moon doesn't reply, but he imagines she's smiling sadly.

"You and I, we're the same, really," Zuko mutters. "Don't worry, I'll keep you company, even when the rest of them forget."

A voice comes from behind him. "Zuko? Are you . . . talking to the moon?"

He sighs. Of course it's _her_. She always chooses the worst times to interrupt his thoughts.

"I think the moon and I are becoming good friends," he replies dryly.

"You know," Katara says with a smile, "if Yue had actually met you, I think you would have gotten along well. You both had parents forcing you to be someone you weren't. You both were destined for big responsibilities. Yue . . . she was in an arranged marriage. Her betrothed was a jerk. But she really liked Sokka, and I . . . I know it was her destiny to become the moon spirit, but I just wish she hadn't left us so soon."

Zuko hums in acknowledgement.

"Why are you out here anyway?" she asks.

"I needed some fresh air," he replies. "Nobles stink. Figuratively, I mean, although their perfume stinks too."

Katara laughs. "Fair enough."

She steps up to the railing with him, placing her hands on the edge. They both look out at the city, avoiding looking at each other. The distance between them is strange. Close enough to be a little more than friends, close enough that their shoulders are barely brushing. Zuko decides it's _best friend distance_.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks.

Zuko shrugs. "Lots of things. Peace talks in the Colonies. The price of rice. The thousands of veterans coming home. Azula's mental state. The future."

"Being Fire Lord really is a full time job, huh?" Katara smiles and playfully taps his shoulder. "You're supposed to be relaxing here, Zuko. This is your Uncle's big day!"

"My uncle needs me today," agrees Zuko. "But my people need me every day." At that Katara's smile fades. Zuko knows his point is made. If there's one thing Katara understands, it's devotion to those who need help. "I'm proud of him," adds Zuko. "But no matter how much I smile, I just can't seem to be happy. Too much to do."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." He pauses. "What are you gonna do now?"

She frowns. "What do you mean?"

"For the future. What are your plans?"

"I . . ." Katara shrugs. "Aang needs me. I'll just travel the world with him, I guess, and help him set things right. What about you?" She shoots him a teasing smirk. "When are you gonna turn Mai into Fire Lady Mai?"

He doesn't reply.

"Zuko? Is everything okay with Mai?"

"Yeah," he says. "Just fine. You know, I'm never home, she's never home, we hardly see each other. Everything's just moon-peachy."

"Have you tried . . . talking to her?"

"How _can_ I, when today is the first free day I've had in months!?" he snaps, control lost. "And it doesn't help that she seems to hate it there! The Palace is like a cage for her, but it's not my fault I'm the Agni-cursed _Fire Lord_! She thinks I don't care for her but I have a nation to rebuild! My people are tired and helpless and starving! And whenever I tell her that she brushes me off! I don't even know how to talk to her about this!"

Katara's eyes are wide.

"Besides," he huffs. "She has Ty Lee."

"What?"

"You haven't heard? She leaves for weeks at a time to stay at Kyoshi Island with Ty Lee and Suki's girls."

"Zuko . . ."

"Mai isn't there to support me, you guys haven't visited even once, and now with Uncle leaving me for his teashop . . . I'm alone. I've been working nonstop since my coronation." Zuko sighs. "Many of my people haven't accepted me. Most of the world dislikes me. The other world leaders treat me like a child. Half of the nobles in my own court are trying to kill me. Agni, I've already survived _five_ separate attempts on my life!"

"_What? _You never told me in your letters . . ."

"I didn't want to worry you," he replies. "Besides, I'm used to it now. Some days, I kind of wish one of those attempts had succeeded." Zuko laughs humorlessly. "Sometimes I wish I hadn't woken up from Azula's lightning bolt at all."

"_ZUKO!_" Katara's voice is sharp as glass. "Don't say that!"

He glances at her. Her eyes are full of hurt, and now he can't look away. "But it's true," he rasps. "Maybe death would be better than this ridiculous life full of honor and politics and not even a drop of happiness. I . . . Katara, I haven't even been doing this job for half a year, and I'd already give anything to stop being Fire Lord. I'm trying to be strong for my people, but it feels like I'm cracking from the inside, and sometimes I just desperately want it to be _over . . ._"

Katara's knuckles are white with pressure on the railing.

"Sorry," he finally says. "I didn't mean to dump all my stress onto you."

"No," she says. "Don't be." Her eyes lock onto his. "But don't you _ever, ever_ talk about dying like that. You hear me?"

Zuko gives a noncommittal hum.

"I'm serious," she says, her eyes gleaming. "You have _no idea_ how it was, Zuko, when I saw you lying on the floor. You were _dead_, do you understand? Your heart was still and your blood wasn't pumping and you were so close to death and I . . . I was so _scared_," Katara whispers, closing her eyes. "Scared that you'd leave me alone."

Suddenly, for just a moment, he forgets everything. He forgets about being the Fire Lord or a war hero or an older brother or a boyfriend or a nephew or a son.

Zuko puts a hand over hers on the railing.

"I'd _never_ leave you alone," he says.

Katara smiles sadly and intertwines her fingers with his. "I know, Zuko. I know."

"Don't leave me alone either," he begs.

"I won't. I promise."

Even though they're about to part ways tomorrow, Zuko thinks this promise is enough to keep him going.

It's enough to live for.

. . .


	7. Attachment

_AN: Ah, yes, the seventh chakra. That rock hitting Aang's back was undoubtedly a deus ex machina. Terrible storytelling. I despise when power comes free without a cost, so here is the cost._

* * *

**Attachment**

_In my heart, in this cold heart_  
_I can live or I can die_  
_I believe if I just try_  
_You'll believe in you and I..._

_\- "Cold Little Heart" by Michael Kiwanuka_

* * *

"—and by tomorrow we'll arrive at the Eastern Air Temple and help Guru Pathik set up the place for the Air Acolytes, and I'll check up on the eastern Earth Kingdom, and you'll come with me for the tour, but after that we're going to spend time with the Air Acolytes because they need me to teach them my culture, so I'm thinking a couple of months—Katara, are you even listening?"

Aang was gesturing to the horizon excitedly, but now his hand has stilled and he's gazing at her expectantly.

Katara sighs. "Sorry, Aang. I spaced out." She yawns. "I'm tired. Can we go over the plan tomorrow?"

Aang frowns but nods understandingly.

He tugs lightly on Appa's reins and the bison grumbles, veering to the left and landing on a stone shrine at the top of a mountain somewhere near the Eastern Air Temple.

Aang leaps off Appa's head and lands before the shrine with a deep and reverent bow. Katara slowly drops from Appa's back and walks to stand beside him. The building must be ancient, dating back hundreds of years to the Air Nomads, but Katara is too tired to care.

"Bow," Aang murmurs.

"Huh?"

"Bow to show respect to the air and mountain spirits," he explains.

Katara takes an exhausted breath and manages a bow before turning to Appa and climbing onto his back once more. She lays out a blanket and collapses onto it. Aang leaps into the saddle with her and lies down next to her, putting his hands behind his head.

"What's up with you, Katara?"

Katara wants to scoff but she's too exhausted and her eyes are already half-closed.

He asks what's up with her as if she should be perfectly fine after healing all day, for days on end. When she began travelling with the Avatar, she didn't think she'd be doing all the work. They've been all over the Earth Kingdom in the past two weeks, and wherever they go, there are sick and injured people. Sometimes the injuries were caused by violence, while other times there was no cause but poverty and nature. It breaks her heart.

Most of the injuries are from the war.

Katara feels the cost of war down to the marrow of her bones, in the weariness she has accumulated from healing countless cuts and burns and infections and broken ribs and lost eyes and stab wounds and pneumonia and everything else she's seen. Even worse is the weariness in seeing the things she can't heal, the illnesses that only end one way. She cries for those people the most.

Aang doesn't see it. Aang sees the town officials and the leaders and the Avatar fan clubs. He fixes big problems with spirits and nature and conflicts between people. But he doesn't see this. The pain.

It's not his fault. Katara makes sure he doesn't have to see it, because he's still so young.

Even so, it unsettles her that whenever she heals the people of a town it's always "the Avatar's girlfriend healed me" or "the Avatar has done so much for us" or something along those lines. She's tried teaching Aang healing before, but he doesn't seem to have the ability. Perhaps it's unique to female waterbenders. Whatever it may be, he doesn't understand her exhaustion. Add to that her responsibility of cooking and cleaning and washing clothes, and Katara is too tired to think straight.

Katara says none of this out loud.

"I'm just really tired, Aang," she murmurs. "I need sleep. Healing takes a lot out of me."

"But you're a master waterbender!" he complains. "It can't be that hard. We could make it to the Eastern Air Temple before dawn if we didn't stop. But on the other hand . . . it's great that we stopped at this shrine. I didn't think any of these were still standing!"

She blinks tiredly and doesn't reply. They're lying side by side on the blanket, gazing up at a sky full of thousands of stars. The air is cold and refreshing, and she can feel Aang's warmth right beside her. It could have been a nice night. Romantic and good for conversations, whether serious or silly. Out here, far from the light of fire and civilization, the midnight sky is breathtaking.

Katara yawns. Breathtaking indeed.

She has the strangest thought that Aang is not warm enough.

Thoughts of her and Aang lead her mind to something she's wondered for many months. The curiosity revitalizes her, and she fully opens her eyes to look at Aang, interrupting whatever lecture he'd been giving about the shrine's importance.

"Aang?"

"Yeah, Katara?"

His face is very close to hers, and he looks at her hopefully. She knows what he's thinking, but at least he's learned enough now to wait for her consent. But she's not looking to be kissed right now. She needs answers.

"Guru Pathik said you needed to let go of earthly attachments to unlock the Avatar State, right?" she asks. "The seventh chakra?"

"Yep," he replies with a nod.

"You couldn't do it because of me, right? You locked your seventh chakra because of me?"

Aang grins proudly. "That's right. You were my earthly tether, Katara."

"Then how can you reach the Avatar State now?"

His smile fades away. "What do you mean?"

"To reach the Avatar State, you must have your seventh chakra unlocked, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

Katara begins to frown despite her sleepiness. "Aang, that means you've let go of all earthly attachments, haven't you?"

"What? Of course not! You're the thing that keeps me anchored to this world, Katara!"

"Then how did you unlock the seventh chakra?"

The silence stretches on as his brows furrow in confusion. "What are you asking?"

"I mean how can you . . ." Katara sighs. "Never mind."

"No, explain," he demands.

She thinks for a long moment. "If you had to choose between me and the world, what would you choose? No, let's make this simpler. If you could only save one life and you had to choose between me and a random stranger, who would you choose?"

Aang stares at her in frustration. "What kind of a question is that?"

Katara remembers the crackle of blue lightning, and that moment when a boy chose her over the world.

"What's your answer?" she asks.

"I . . . I . .." Aang growls like an angry puppy. "I _can't_ choose, Katara! You can't ask questions like that! Air Nomad philosophy says all life is valuable, and I love you, but I love _all_ living things! If I chose you or the other person I'd be acting against my entire culture!"

The words have deeper meaning than they show on the surface. Katara's heart grows a little heavier as she hears them. She thinks she understands now. Katara's not sure what, but it's something important. She knows she'll figure it out later, when her mind is a little less hazy. Aang keeps whispering something beside her, but Katara's eyes are closing. His warmth beside her is comforting, like an old friend or a favorite blanket.

Her breathing slows to a rhythmic tide as she drifts off to sleep.

The last thought on her mind is that Aang will never be warm enough for her.

. . .


	8. Secrets

_AN: I've never read the Avatar comics or graphic novels, and from what I've heard of the plots, I probably wouldn't enjoy them much anyway. However, I think they got one thing right. Zuko is not what Mai needs._

* * *

**Secrets**

_I didn't know love could be drowned out_  
_In the blue of a dry eye_  
_In the silence of a goodbye_

_\- "Over" by Time for Three_

* * *

Mai's pale hand slams a small stack of papers on his desk, interrupting his work.

"When were you going to tell me about _this_?"

Zuko sighs. "I wasn't."

A knock on Zuko's office door.

"Go away!" snaps Mai. "The Fire Lord and I are talking!"

"No," Zuko calls over her. "Come in, Akira."

Advisor Akira hesitantly opens the door and walks in, carrying a pile of scrolls which he places to the side of Zuko's already cluttered desk. "Here is today's most important mail, my Lord," he explains. "May I also inquire as to your plans for the Yu Dao colony? The mayor seems adamant that the colony will not disintegrate, and the Earth King has sent another demand that you take action."

Zuko sighs. "Finish the preparations for the clandestine trip."

"TRIP?" Mai suddenly shouts, furious at being ignored. "What _trip_?"

"I'm afraid the trip must be postponed, my Lord," Akira replies. "If I may remind you, the one-year anniversary of your coronation is this month. In addition, the grand opening of the Southern Waterbending Academy is coming up this summer solstice."

"_Answer_ me, Zuko!" growls Mai. "What trip?"

The Fire Lord ignores her and gives Akira a pointed look. "Alright. Postpone the Yu Dao trip. I trust that preparations for the coronation anniversary are complete? Acquire a ship for departure for the South Pole next month. One of the old Southern Raider ships should be best for the cold weather, but remove the flags and change out the crewmen. Also, Akira . . . set up another appointment with _him_. Anytime this morning should work."

Akira pales but bows his head in acknowledgement. "I'll notify the prison warden."

As the advisor hastily exits the room, Mai turns her deadly glare on Zuko. "_Him? Again?_ This is becoming a daily routine!"

"My uncle said to draw wisdom from many places," Zuko replies. "As bad as it may sound, Ozai is knowledgeable. He knows a lot about how to run a country, and I won't turn down free advice from a former Fire Lord."

"He's _using_ you, Zuko! He's twisting you into his image from the inside!"

"No, I'm using _him_."

"Then how do you explain THIS?" She slams her hand down on the stack of papers she had brought in. "I read through them, Zuko. This . . . _water-boarding_, it's _horrific_, even by my standards! Making people feel like they're drowning? This is _torture_!"

"This is a military secret and you should be careful when you look through those without permission," the Fire Lord replies. "You're not the Fire Lady, Mai."

"Zuko, this isn't like you," she whispers. "Developing new torture methods? This screams Ozai!"

"The method is _for_ Ozai."

Silence chokes the air like a noose.

"You take advice from him about how to be Fire Lord," she begins slowly, her usually monotone voice now shaky and unsettled. "While secretly developing methods to torture him? Holy Agni, Zuko, you're becoming more and more like him, and you don't even see it."

"No! You don't understand." Zuko grits his teeth. "Look, Mai, I didn't tell you before, but . . . Ozai said he knows where my mother is. I don't talk to him daily just for advice. I've been trying to get him to tell me where she is. But he's hard as steel and he won't say anything. He knows it hurts me, and he enjoys taunting me, and there's nothing I can do to convince him to talk. So I've been trying to find ways to _make_ him talk. This water-boarding technique is one."

The silence returns for a long moment.

"You didn't tell me _any_ of this?"

"How _can_ I?" he snaps. "You're not even here half the time!"

"If you have enough time to visit your evil nutcase of a father," she shouts, "how could you not have time to talk to me?"

"Maybe because I don't _want_ to talk to you!"

Mai's jaw drops and Zuko desperately wants to take the words back, but if he's learned anything as Fire Lord, it's that once the truth is out, there is no taking it back. Zuko waits for her worst, for screaming or knives or cold disappointment.

He's not prepared for her tears.

"Does your _uncle_ know you're doing all this?" Mai murmurs. "Does _she_ know?" The Fire Lord freezes, mouth opening and then closing. He can't look her in the eyes. Mai shakes her head, silent tears streaming down her face. "You would have told _her_, if she were here." Zuko's eyes widen.

"Mai . . ." He takes a step toward her, arms open.

She turns on her heel and refuses to look at him. "No. You don't want me, so I don't want you."

"Mai, please. I'm sorry I shouted at you. I love you."

"You say you do," she says. "But you clearly love your secrets more. Maybe it would be easier to keep them if you were alone."

Zuko's heart sinks into his stomach.

"Goodbye, Fire Lord."

She walks out the door without another word.

Zuko's temper, which he has learned to subdue and rein in from months of politics, finally snaps. He roars a wave of fire at the tall ceiling, roars until he runs out of breath. He falls back into his office chair in defeat. In that moment his eye catches on a scroll in the pile of mail, and all the anger drains out of him. It's tied with blue string, labeled in familiar handwriting.

He inhales slowly. For the greater good. Everything he's doing is for the greater good.

But Zuko knows Katara would be disappointed in who he's becoming. Even so, he is Ozai's son. Maybe the violence and ruthlessness is in his blood. Maybe he should embrace that instead of denying it. Besides, he's being efficient, not ruthless. He's thought of everything. There's no other way to get Ozai to . . .

The thought of _Katara_ and _blood_ triggers something in his mind. Gears begin to turn.

Out of the blue, an idea forms.

Zuko has a bad feeling about this, but he's going to do it anyway.

. . .


	9. Fallout

_AN: T__hank you to all who reviewed! Your comments make me so happy, and they keep me motivated too._

* * *

**Fallout**

_Where did I go wrong? _  
_I lost a friend, s__omewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would've stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

_\- "Save A Life" by The Fray_

* * *

Sokka's having the time of his life.

It's been a year since the war ended, and the world has been slowly struggling to its feet, but Sokka is optimistic lately. It feels like everything is finally going up, and after a hundred years of war, the giant feet of the world are starting to dance again.

Oh, who is he kidding.

Sokka is optimistic only because he's feeling the euphoria of showing off his newest creation. The Northern Water Tribe had sent a bunch of waterbenders to the South Pole—including Grandpakku—to help them rebuild, and one year later, it's finally finished. Sokka's priceless baby, the greatest project in the history of his insane and jawdroppingly awesome projects . . .

The Southern Waterbending Academy.

This is more than just a bending school. This is a city hall, a library, a town square, a waterpark, and an amphitheater all together. Sokka has designed it to be the center of the newly rebuilt South Pole City. And the greatest part of it all is the roof, a zone designed for the landing of airships from across the world . . . or as Sokka likes to call it, an _airport_!

Tonight is the night.

The grand opening of the Academy went spectacularly on the evening of the summer solstice. Now the ice hall that makes up the entrance to the building is full of guests and diplomats and war heroes from around the world, eating, dancing, and of course drinking together. Mai and Ty Lee are laughing and socializing with the Kyoshi warriors. Haru and his parents are here, Teo and the Mechanist are here, Chief Arnook is here, the Earth King is here. Literally everyone of importance to politics and every friend of the Avatar has shown up for the banquet.

Heck, even Zuko is here, and hardly anything can get the Fire Lord out of his office nowadays!

The ceremony serves as a setting for negotiations as well. Sokka can see a group of Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation diplomats sharing drinks and cautiously discussing the issues of the Colonies.

Today is a good day.

"I gotta admit, Snoozles, you've really outdone yourself this time," comments Toph. "The architecture of this room is amazing. And what the hell is up with this floor? I feel like I've grown a second set of feet!"

"Ahhh!" Sokka grins. "I'm glad you noticed! You have no idea how much time it took me to perfect that design! Look there, see those lines—"

"Of course, Sokka, I can definitely _see_ the lines," Toph drawls sarcastically.

Sokka rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean!"

He begins explaining to Toph how he had managed to carve tiny grooves in the ice floor and walls, and how he had coated them with meteorite metal to amplify sound, which would help her see more and would draw any excess water from bending practice straight into the giant fountain sitting in the center of the hall. Suki is sitting next to them, smiling fondly at Sokka's enthusiastic lecture.

That's when Sokka's instincts give him what he calls the _vague but definite warning buzz_. Sokka pauses and looks around for danger. Everything is fine.

Zuko and Katara are talking in a corner of the hall.

"WHAT?"

Sokka glances over.

No, scratch that. The sound is so loud and indignant that the entire reception hall grows quiet and glances over. Aang is livid, absolutely fuming with rage, his fist in Zuko's shirt. Katara gets between them, pushing Aang away with a glare. She turns sheepishly to the crowd. "Nothing to see here, folks! Sorry! We were just getting into a little argument . . . about the best kind of tea!"

Sokka knows something is wrong, and he has to resolve the tension in the hall somehow.

"Hey, would you say," he calls over to Katara, "that your tea argument is getting a little too . . . _heated and bitter_?"

Sokka grins like a tigershark and revels in the groaning and laughter that erupts across the hall from his bad joke. Situation successfully defused. Sokka looks over to Katara and shoots her a look.

Behind her, Zuko and Aang are still exchanging angry but very quiet words. Katara's brows are drawn, and Sokka immediately knows it's serious. He nods to her, but Katara shakes her head. Sokka frowns. So there's a problem, but she doesn't want him to intervene. Zuko says something and Katara turns around and gets pulled back into that conversation.

Sokka sighs and turns back to Toph and Suki.

"Did you and your sister just . . . talk with facial expressions?" asks Toph.

Sokka blinks. "We did . . . but how'd _you_ know that? You can't even see our body language!"

Toph and Sokka begin an engrossing conversation about the design of the hall allowing her to see people's vibrations in incredible detail, but Sokka is also keeping tabs on Zuko, Aang, and Katara. The Avatar and the Firelord have walked out onto an ice balcony nearby, away from the crowds. They've closed the balcony's doors. Now, Sokka is kind of worried. In silent agreement, he, Suki, and Toph wander over to the balcony doors, continuing their conversation all the while.

Muffled shouting echoes through the ice walls, but Sokka can't make out any words.

"Snoozles," whispers Toph, tapping the wall with her fist. "Grooves."

Sokka grins. "You're a genius, Toph!"

"Says the genius himself," Toph snorts. The three of them casually lean their ears against the door, ignoring the weird looks they're getting from the crowd.

Sokka's eyes widen.

The grooves in the door amplify the sound, and he can hear every word of the conversation on the other side.

"I SPARED HIS LIFE! YOU CAN'T TORTURE HIM!"

"For the millionth time, if you don't want any part of this, fine! But Ozai is my prisoner, not yours, and you can't tell me what to do with him! Besides, this wouldn't even be a problem if you had just _killed _him like you should have, _Avatar_!"

"I CAN'T LET YOU DO THIS, ZUKO!"

"I'm not asking _you_! I was asking Katara! What made you feel the need to put your nose in our business?"

"YOUR BUSINESS? KATARA IS _MY_ GIRLFRIEND AND SHE IS NOT HELPING YOU TORTURE OZAI!"

_"ALRIGHT, ENOUGH!"_ Sokka flinches. Yep, that's his sister's voice. "Will you two cut it out? Look, Aang, Zuko was talking to _me_. I know you care a lot about this, but it wasn't nice of you to overhear and interrupt our conversation."

"Wasn't nice? _Wasn't nice?_ And how is any of what Zuko is planning _nice_?"

"Arghh! Aang, that's not the point! Just let me hear Zuko out! He needs our help!"

"No, he needs _your_ help," Aang replies bitterly. "I can't believe it. You both know I won't help with this. How could you even think of agreeing to this, Katara?"

Sokka is feeling the _vague warning_ instinct again. Something is about to blow up.

"MAYBE HE DOES NEED MY HELP!" Katara roars. "BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, AT LEAST I CAN BE USEFUL FOR ONCE! AT LEAST I'LL BE ABLE TO USE MY TALENTS FOR SOMETHING! FOR MONTHS, ALL I'VE BEEN DOING IS DRESSING UP NICE AND HEALING AND WASHING DISHES AND COOKING FOR AIR ACOLYTES! Maybe I want to really help someone for once, okay?"

Aang's jaw drops. "What are you talking about Katara? You _were_ helping people! You were doing what's right for the world! This is _wrong_!"

"The world isn't black and white, Aang," Zuko counters. "Each person has their own morality. You can't decide what's right or wrong for Katara, or for anyone."

"Of course I can! I'm the AVATAR!"

Zuko scoffs. "Then how are you any different from Ozai?"

The question makes Aang splutter.

He has no answer. The silence is as dense and dark as spacerock.

"Leave, Aang," says Katara, with a note of finality.

Aang begins to protest. Before he can react, Sokka hears splashes and stomping and suddenly Sokka and Toph and Suki are scrambling away. The door slams open and Aang thunders past them, not even stopping to talk to them. Sokka frowns and looks to Toph and Suki. "What's with _him_?" They shrug. Suddenly Katara sends a wave of ice from the balcony, slamming the doors shut once again.

Sokka's frown deepens. "What's with _her_?"

The trio return to their previous positions, eavesdropping on Katara and Zuko.

"Zuko, as much as I hate to say it, I think Aang might be right. This isn't such a good idea."

"Not you too! This is for good reason, Katara. The Fire Nation is at stake! There are still loyalist nobles all across the nation, and I can't tell which nobles are on my side and which are trying to kill me! I'm worried there might be insurrection. Do you know how many times loyalist thugs have attacked my soldiers this year? If we could get Ozai to spill which nobles are working for him . . ."

"Ozai is in prison. He can't have much information on what's going on outside. This isn't your only reason, is it? What is this really about, Zuko?"

A pause.

The Fire Lord sighs. "I . . . look, I know it's selfish . . . but Ozai admitted it. He _knows_. He knows where my mother is. I have to find her, but I can't get him to talk on my own. I didn't mention it in my letters because I wanted to tell you in person. Please, Katara, I need help."

With that one word, _mother_, Sokka knows this whole conversation has changed. He feels almost guilty for listening in on this. It's personal, and he shouldn't be doing it, but curiosity has always been Sokka's greatest motivator.

"What do you need me to do?" Katara's voice is steely. Sokka can tell she's ready to do anything for the sake of Zuko's mother.

A long silence.

"I need you to bloodbend him."

She gasps.

"Regular torture doesn't scare him, so this seemed like the most efficient method and I thought—"

"No."

"What? What do you mean, _no_?"

"No."

"Katara, this is my _mother_!"

"And this is my _soul_!" she snaps back. "I won't do it! Anything but this, Zuko."

Zuko growls in frustration. "Why? What's so bad about it anyway? If anyone in the world deserves that pain, it's Ozai!"

"I just can't, Zuko."

"I don't get it," he complains. "You've used it before when _you_ needed it! You used it on that captain. You used it to save me! What's so different now?

"I SAID NO! What's your problem?"

"What's _your _problem?"

"It _kills_ me, Zuko! You're right, you _don't_ get it! It . . . it tears me apart and it makes me sick and it kills me inside! And I don't care if it's on Ozai or a turtleduck, I will _never_ bloodbend again! Do you understand?"

The silence is cold.

"I understand," he replies bitterly. "You don't care enough about my mother to bother."

"What? Zuko, no, that's not—"

"I'm sorry that I assumed you would help me, I just thought you would care, you know, as my best friend. But I guess there are things you value more, and that's totally fair. Go back to babysitting your Avatar, then. Have fun with those _housewife_ duties."

"EXCUSE ME?"

Sokka hears roaring torrents of water and flame. Shouts of anger. They're fighting, really fighting. The crowd in the hall begins to murmur as the walls shake. "We need to stop them," says Sokka, gesturing to the ice walls. "They'll destroy my baby!"

Toph shakes her head. "They need to work out their disagreement."

"It's just a balcony, Sokka," agrees Suki. "It'll be fine."

Suddenly the doors blast off their hinges. Sokka cries out in shock and pain. "My baby!" Suki glares at him in annoyance.

Zuko walks inside nonchalantly, his skin steaming, his expression hard as granite.

"ZUKO!" shouts Katara. "COME BACK HERE! DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME!"

The Fire Lord calls to his guards and ignores the stares of the crowd, storming out of the banquet hall. Across the hall Mai watches him leave with a bored expression, then shrugs and turns back to talking with Ty Lee. Earth King Kuei shouts to Zuko, something about Yu Dao, but the Fire Lord doesn't even bother turning around. Zuko and his entourage walk out of the Academy and into the darkness.

"ZUKO!"

Sokka cautiously walks out to the balcony.

His architectural masterpiece is ruined, but Sokka has bigger worries. His sister is at the railing, hugging herself and sobbing. "Hey sis." He steps up and puts an arm around her shoulder, and she collapses into his arms. Soon Suki is hugging her too, and Toph gives her an affectionate nudge.

Sokka thinks on what Zuko said earlier.

He agrees with his sister. Bloodbending is _wrong_, and if Katara doesn't want to do it, Sokka will defend her choices.

On the other hand . . . even when Sokka lost his mother, he still had Katara to mother him. Zuko doesn't have any motherly figures in his life, and Sokka can't help but think that if torturing Ozai could give the poor guy his mother back, maybe it isn't _so wrong._

In addition, Sokka understands that in everything he said, the Fire Lord spoke the truth. Zuko was correct about Aang's blind morality. Zuko was correct that Katara has used bloodbending whenever she desperately needed it. And as awful as torture is, Zuko had a point that Ozai deserves the pain, and it is for good reasons. Even if the Fire Lord is _correct_, though, none of this seems _right_.

Well, Zuko was right about one thing. The Gaang is growing up, and the world definitely isn't black and white anymore.

Sokka sighs.

The war was easy compared to this.

. . .


	10. Iceberg

_AN: I wanted to try something different with this one. Hakoda is an interesting perspective._

* * *

**Iceberg**

_Come on skinny love just last a year_  
_Pour a little salt we were never here_  
_Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer_

_\- "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver_

* * *

Hakoda is worried.

Katara stormed off during the banquet, and from one look at his daughter's face Hakoda knew it was serious. Judging by the way the Avatar thundered out of the hall earlier, and the way the Fire Lord walked away steaming with Katara shouting at his back, it was probably a family squabble.

That's what those kids are, the group that surrounds the Avatar. They're a family forged through war.

Katara probably wouldn't appreciate Hakoda being nosy, but he knows when his daughter is about to start sulking, and that's never a good thing. He waits a moment, sharing a look with his mother who is with him at the banquet. Kana gently elbows him and nods to the door. Hakoda sighs and follows after Katara, out into the snowy streets of South Pole City, to the ice-walled house that is their family's. Ever since the waterbenders from the North came to help rebuild, the town has drastically changed, but their house is still much the same.

He steps in through the furs that make up the door.

His daughter is curled up against a wall near her chest of personal belongings, hugging her knees, her head buried in her arms. Letters are scattered all around her across the floor. She heard him walking in, he knows that, but she doesn't look up. He slowly sits down beside her and nudges her with his arm.

"Leave me alone, Dad."

Hakoda sighs. "Katara, what's wrong?"

"I said _leave me alone!"_

"Katara." He places a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I just want to help. It's not good to bottle your feelings up inside."

"Since when have _you_ even been around to care about my feelings?"

The chieftain ignores the hurt he feels. She's just snapping at him because she's frustrated. Even so, he wonders whether he failed as a father if his own daughter doesn't want to talk to him when she's sad. Hakoda takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, Katara, but I'm here now," he says. "You can talk to me."

Finally, she looks up, bringing her head out from her arms. He can tell that she was crying. Red-rimmed eyes, glistening trails along her cheeks. Hakoda wants to find whoever made his daughter cry and bash them over the head with a boomerang.

But beating up the Avatar probably isn't a good idea.

Hakoda had mixed feelings when Katara announced a few months after the war that she and Aang were together, but the chieftain trusts his daughter's judgement. If Katara is old enough to mother her little adopted family, she is certainly old enough to decide who she wants to love. Besides, Aang adores her and will always be loyal to her, which Hakoda approves of, even if he doesn't like how Katara has sent home letters complaining about her new relationship.

"Are you upset about Aang?" he asks. "Because whatever you two were arguing about, you'll work it out. He'll be back soon. He probably just left for a moment to clear his head. He cares about you too much to stay angry at you, so don't be too harsh on him, alright?"

Katara gives a single sad, humorless laugh. "You don't get it, Dad."

Hakoda frowns. "Help me understand then. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

The chieftain sighs. "Alright."

He cautiously puts an arm around her shoulders and draws her to his side. She doesn't resist. Her breathing is unsteady and Hakoda worries she might start crying again. He waits patiently for her to speak.

"It's not Aang," she whispers.

For the first time that evening, he has the sense to look at the letters that surround them on the floor. There are dozens of letters, written on pale white Fire Nation parchment, the brush strokes of characters neat and flawless in a style speaking of nobility. His eyes focus on the last word in all the letters he can see.

_Zuko_.

"As bad as this sounds, I know Aang will come back to me," Katara finally says. "I'm not worried about him."

Hakoda listens silently.

"But Zuko . . ." Her voice breaks. "He's going to hate me."

After the war, Katara had told Hakoda what Zuko had done in the Agni Kai against Azula, and ever since then, Hakoda had held deep respect and gratitude for the boy. Anyone who gave their own life for his daughter would forever be a friend of Hakoda's.

The chieftain had met the Fire Lord himself at the Boiling Rock and during a few diplomatic summits after the war, and from what Hakoda could tell, Zuko was truly something else. The young man was passionate, empathetic, honorable to a fault, and a bit of a workaholic. And from all he had seen, Hakoda doubted that Zuko was the kind of man to hold grudges.

"Katara," he began, adopting his wise fatherly voice. "He's not going to hate you."

"You don't understand," she said bitterly. "His mother is the one person he still needs in life. It would make him so happy if he found her again. And when he finally found a way, when Ozai told him that he knows where Ursa is, Zuko came to me for help. He trusted me. And what did I do? I crushed his dreams, Dad! I took his trust and I stomped it into the snow! But I can't do what he's asking! It's too much!"

"What did he ask?"

Katara swallows roughly. "He wants me to bloodbend."

Hakoda's eyes widen.

"You know how I feel about bloodbending, Dad," she continues. "I can't do it again. I _can't_. It's awful, it makes me sick. If I did it again, even to Ozai . . . I would hate myself. But I . . . it just hurt_ so much_ to see Zuko's face when I said no. It was like I could _see_ his heart breaking inside him." She closes her eyes to hide her tears. "I want him to be happy but I can't do what he's asking! He must hate me so much now."

Her nails are digging into her palms, drawing blood. Hakoda gently takes her hands and pulls her fists open.

"Katara." His voice is soft but firm. "Do you care about Zuko?"

She blinks incredulously. "Of course I do."

"And does he care about you?"

"He . . . I think so."

Hakoda gestures to the dozens of letters surrounding them. "Well, I know so. And sometimes, even the closest friends in the world can fight. Spirits, Bato and I have had falling-outs countless times in our lives, and he's the best friend I've ever had. I never thought we'd be able to get over those arguments when they happened. But you know what? We did. And each time, it got easier." Katara is listening intently. Hakoda smiles. "Are you two best friends?"

Katara hesitates. "Yes."

"Then there's nothing to worry about," he says. "Zuko cares for you. He values honor, doesn't he? If you say you can't do something, he'll respect your word. He won't just _abandon_ you because of something you said, Katara, no matter how hurtful it was."

Katara's eyes seem to gleam for a moment.

Hakoda wonders what memory is going through her mind for her eyes to become so distant like that.

"I . . ." She takes a deep breath. "Maybe you're right." Katara begins collecting the letters strewn around them and stacks them carefully on her lap. She tries for a smile. "Thanks, Dad." Hakoda nods and helps her up, then opens the chest for her to put the letters away.

Inside the chest, Hakoda sees a red ribbon placed beside Katara's tortoise-shell comb, her mother's comb. The ribbon looks just like the one on Katara's necklace.

She follows his gaze and chuckles. "It's a replacement. He said it was just in case my ribbon broke. He couldn't find a blue one. It came with all those mirrors and pots and pans he sent for my birthday. He's always so stupidly practical. Shopping never was his strong suit."

Katara keeps talking, rambling on about countless little details about the young man, and Hakoda wonders for a moment.

There's a lot more to Katara and Zuko than meets the eye.

How deep does the iceberg go?

. . .


	11. Embers

_AN: I've been avoiding Iroh because he's my favorite character and I'm afraid I don't have the talent to capture his unique voice. But here goes..._

* * *

**Embers**

_I remember when her heart broke over __stubbornness_  
_And that's no way to be living, kid_  
_The angel of death is ruthless_

_\- "An Evening I Will Not Forget" by Dermot Kennedy_

* * *

Iroh knows his nephew well.

The Fire Lord holds his head high, but the weight of the sky on one's shoulders can twist anyone's backbone.

Yet Iroh also knows that his nephew is no longer sheltered under his wing. As much as the father in Iroh wants to, he cannot sweep in and take the weight off the young man's shoulders. Sooner or later Iroh will be gone from this world, and Zuko needs to be able to carry the weight on his own. No, it is not strength that his nephew needs. Zuko is already strong.

What he lacks is wisdom. What Zuko needs most right now is a guiding light, a helping hand to show him how best to carry the weight on his shoulders.

With Ursa gone, Iroh is the only person who can do that for him.

So when Zuko strides out of the Waterbending Academy looking like the fiery wrath of Agni himself, Iroh quietly goes after him. He follows Zuko and his guards to the docked Southern Raider ship that brought the Fire Lord here. As Zuko walks up the steps, the guards stop to stand before the ramp. Iroh walks up to them, and all the guards make way for him, inclining their heads politely.

Zuko doesn't turn around. "Whoever's following me, this is a Fire Nation ship. Leave, or my guards will make you."

"You would treat an old man so harshly, Fire Lord Zuko?" teases Iroh.

The young man turns, his furious expression suddenly fading at the sound of Iroh's voice.

"Uncle," he replies, somewhat sheepish.

"Were you planning to leave the South Pole so soon, my nephew?" Iroh smiles wryly. "I understand that their sea prunes are hard to stomach, but come now, the Southern Water Tribe has only shown you hospitality! Would you turn your back on them on a whim?"

Zuko holds Iroh's gaze for only a moment before continuing his march up the steps and onto the deck of the ship. The Fire Lord walks up to the captain, quietly issuing orders, before striding over to the ship's bow. Iroh follows after him patiently. Zuko puts his hands on the steel railing, gazing out at the western horizon where the sky meets the sea. Iroh stands beside Zuko silently with his hands folded behind his back.

Finally, his nephew breaks the silence. "Why are you here, Uncle?"

The colors after the sunset are dazzling.

The sun is hidden, yet the sky is painted in broad strokes of purple and blue, orange and red, like the final breaths of a passionate flame. Like the embers of a fading heaven. The Dragon of the West synchronizes his breathing with the push and pull of the waves below.

_This is true fire,_ he thinks, _unseen yet still alive._

Memories return to his mind, despite his reluctance to indulge them.

"Did you know," Iroh finally began, "that this was your aunt's favorite time of day? _Emberhour_, it is called, the time after sunset but before dark, if you remember your study of the classics. Poets and firebending masters alike consider it an important time for reflection. As the sun fades and your power wanes, consider your identity. Without your power, _who are you?_"

They share a long silence.

"Why are you telling me this?"

The old general sighs. "Because, my nephew, I have been hearing from many people that the current Fire Lord is not the same man as the Prince I once knew."

"What do you mean?" Zuko frowns. "I'm the same person, Uncle."

Iroh hums thoughtfully. Zuko cannot see it, but of course the young usually have no sense of perspective. "Zuko," he questions, "what did you say to the Avatar and the lovely young lady Katara that made them so angry?"

The Fire Lord's face darkens.

"Lady Mai," Iroh continues, "sent me a letter some time ago. The things she spoke of were very alarming, nephew."

"That was none of her business!" snaps Zuko. "She had no right to interfere!"

"She was, and still is, your friend," Iroh replies. "She was only acting out of concern for you. Lady Mai said she had tried everything and you wouldn't listen, so she told me. I do not wish to tell you how to rule, Zuko, but in this I must insist that you think twice. Sometimes, inflicting pain is an unavoidable necessity, Fire Lord Zuko, but it should never be your tool of choice. There is no honor in torture."

Zuko scoffs dryly. "There's no honor in Ozai, either. A dishonorable method for a dishonorable man. What's your _point_, Uncle?"

Iroh's eyes widen. He had not expected that it would be this serious.

"My point is that if you do this," Iroh says loudly and sternly, "you fall to his level, Zuko! You are letting go of _your own_ honor! That honor is the only difference between a rightful king and a _tyrant_! If you lose your reluctance to inflict suffering upon others, you will soon lose your morality entirely! Do you understand? You are _one_ step away from BECOMING YOUR FATHER!"

The silence is heavy.

For the first time today, Iroh sees in his nephew's eyes no trace of the cold and regal Fire Lord Zuko. In this moment, he sees only the lost and conflicted Prince Zuko that he raised.

"Am I . . . _really_ becoming like him?"

"I am afraid I cannot say no, nephew."

The words seem to hit Zuko like a boulder.

"I . . ."

"You are considering torturing your own father, Zuko. I am afraid for you, for what you will become if you continue down this path."

"Agni," he whispers. "What am I doing? Who _am_ I?"

Iroh watches the last of the evening light fade into darkness. "You are my second child, Fire Lord Zuko, son of Ursa, brother of the Avatar, best friend of Katara." He gives Zuko a teasing smile. "Lady Katara seemed quite angry at you, by the way."

"Spirits, Katara . . ." Zuko exhales. "I made a terrible mistake. I should _never_ have asked her to do that. I knew it would make her feel bad, I should never have asked! And everything I said . . . _why_, Uncle? Why do I always say or do the wrong thing in the worst possible moments?"

Iroh puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. "A man is not defined by his mistakes, Zuko, but by what he does after them."

Zuko stares at the crescent moon, his eyes distant.

"What can I do now, Uncle?"

Iroh watches his nephew for a moment, then allows his face to relax into a warm smile. "Have I ever told you how I met your aunt?"

Zuko's eyes widen. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"There is a reason," he replies, his smile becoming bittersweet. "I thought you should know."

"Uncle . . . you never talk about her."

Iroh rests a hand on Zuko's shoulder, silencing him. "I met your Aunt Satomi at a council between the Fire Nation provincial lords when I was a young prince. My father Azulon was out on the war front then, and had no time to govern the nation he ruled. Ozai was much younger than me and still in military school. So it fell upon me to act as the face of the royal family at home."

"You were the regent?" exclaims Zuko. "I didn't know that."

"It is not something the Fire Sages officially acknowledged," Iroh explains. "But in a practical sense, yes, I was acting in my father's place. That is how I found myself in this council of provinces. You must understand, I was young and brash and I had much more hair in those days. My ego was too big for my own good. So when the lords began to speak of all the costs that the war was imposing on their provinces—from loss of population to capital to resources—I grew immensely angry."

"Wait, how does this have anything to do with Aunt Satomi?"

"Patience, young grasshopper," teases Iroh. "As I was saying, I was furious. Being an angry young firebender, I naturally challenged them all to an Agni Kai. I declared that anyone who had the power to land a single blow on me in combat could earn the right to complain about the war. Otherwise, anyone who complained would face my wrath."

Zuko tries to smother his laughter. "Uncle . . . you sound more arrogant than _me_ back when I was a teenager!"

Iroh smirks. "You are only eighteen, Zuko. Wait until you are twenty before you start speaking like an old man. Anyway, all the lords cowered in fear. This was before I learned from the dragon masters, but I was still among the strongest firebenders in the nation. I was smug. I thought I had succeeded in intimidating them . . . until someone accepted the challenge."

"Someone accepted?"

"Indeed," Iroh says with a grin. "A young lady named Satomi did."

Zuko's eyes widen like dinner platters.

"She was beautiful and fierce, and never before had I seen anyone with such steel in their eyes," continues Iroh, "but my slighted ego did not allow me to admit it at the time. Her father was the lord of a large northern province. He had been paralyzed in battle and had lost his wife to illness, so Satomi managed Shaoshi province in his stead."

"Shaoshi?" asks Zuko incredulously. "Aunt Satomi was from the _rice_ province?"

"True, they are known for producing the most rice of any Fire Nation province," agrees Iroh, "but long ago, they were also know for a forgotten and peculiar form of firebending."

"Forgotten firebending?"

Iroh nods. "Only in the arena did I realize what I was facing. Never once did she strike me, but I could not break her root. She was a deep-buring fire, an ember that could not be put out. In the end, I gave in to exhaustion. I was burnt out, but she was still standing. When I fell on my back in weariness, she walked over. I was desperate and ready to lash out wildy with the last of my _chi_, but she did not strike me. Instead, she offered me her hand."

"She _defeated_ you?" Zuko grins. "Aunt Satomi must have been amazing."

The old general sighs. "She was."

"What happened after you lost?"

"Not long after that, she suggested I take a trip to the outer provinces, to truly see the nation I was governing. Only then did I understand that the provincial lords were right. This war was costing the people of the Fire Nation. Still, I was too much my father's son. I believed it was our duty to continue the war, at any cost. But I did what I could to help the provinces get by. In the years after, I saw Satomi many times, and each time my heart fell a little more for her."

Zuko listens intently, and Iroh thinks he can see a familiar light in the young man's eyes.

"Eventually I proposed to her," says Iroh, "and our marriage went happily for two years. The problems began when my brother graduated, and when my father returned home."

"They didn't like her?" Zuko guesses.

"Ozai despised her, and my father was indifferent toward her," Iroh explains. "But the problem was me. I was given a choice, Zuko. My father was growing old, and as some men like to do when they grow old, he wanted to bask in his power for as long as he could. Thus, he appointed me General in his place and ordered me to continue his _work_ out in the world."

"Why was that a problem?"

"Because in a few months, I would be a father."

Zuko's jaw drops. "Azulon wanted you to leave before Lu Ten was born?"

"I was torn," says Iroh. "Your aunt begged me to stay. She pleaded with Azulon to allow me to wait a few months, but war waits for no man. In the end, I had to choose between doing what was right and doing what I was told. It was not so different from what you once had to choose, Zuko."

Zuko gulps. Iroh knows he understands.

"I chose to leave." Iroh's voice breaks and his vision blurs. "I left my wife in the moment I should have been with her most, and I can still remember her face on the day I departed. She was _heartbroken_, Zuko. She refused to speak to me. I left in anger and misunderstanding and bitterness . . . and when I returned—" He closes his eyes. "I learned that Satomi had died giving birth to our only son. Lu Ten was all I had left of her, and I was determined that I would keep him close. Then he joined the military, and at Ba Sing Se, he too . . ."

Zuko puts an arm around Iroh's shoulders, and he remembers once again why he loves the boy.

"I'm sorry, Uncle. You didn't have to tell me this if it hurts you."

Iroh shakes his head. "I am telling you all this for a reason, Zuko." The old general looks his nephew in the eyes. "Some people in your life are too important to turn your back on. Do _not_ make the same mistakes I made. Do not live with regret."

Zuko stares at his feet. "I . . ."

"We only live once, my nephew."

The Fire Lord sets his expression in stone. "I'm leaving, Uncle."

Iroh sighs. "Leave if you must." He smiles teasingly. "Your pride means so much to you, Zuko, and it is because your pride is wounded that you act so harshly. But remember what I said. There was no other like Satomi for me, and I think you already know that you will not find another like _her_."

Zuko hesitates, then scowls again.

"Do not break her heart over nothing," says Iroh, patting Zuko's back. He turns to the stairs to go as the ship's crewmen prepare to leave.

"Uncle!"

The old man turns around, only to be crushed by an embrace. Iroh smiles. He often forgets how young his nephew really is. Iroh returns the hug until his nephew steps away. The two walk down to the bottom of the ship's steps together.

"I'll miss you, Uncle." Zuko pauses. "Thank you for telling me about Aunt Satomi. And for everything."

Iroh nods. "Of course, my son."

Zuko's eyes widen and he looks away. The Fire Lord marches back up the steps as Iroh sets foot on the docks once again. He watches the ramp being pulled back into the body of the ship. He listens as the engines rumble and the ship sets off. He smells the smoke on the breeze.

Iroh feels the vibrations on the dock—a pair of feet, light and fast, but not fast enough.

Katara skids to a stop beside him, out of breath from sprinting. Iroh watches her gaze fixed on the iron shadow heading out to sea. Her eyes are gleaming.

"He left?" she murmurs. "He _left_ without even telling me?"

Iroh smiles warmly. "Do not worry, Lady Katara. You have not lost him. He only needs some time."

. . .


	12. Pressure

_AN: Pressure is force over area. The force is Katara, the area is Aang's heart. I feel bad for them both. But teenagers are known to have explosive tempers, ill-fated relationships, and painful experiences. It'll be good for them._

* * *

**Pressure**

_You never took the time to get to know me_  
_We're scared of losing something that we never found_

_\- "Hollywood's Bleeding" by Post Malone_

* * *

Aang finds her standing in the snow at the docks the morning after the summer solstice.

She's gazing at the western horizon, where the sea meets the sky. "Katara!" Aang runs up and grabs her shoulders, turning her around and embracing her. "There you are! Why are you out here? I was looking for you everywhere last night!"

Katara looks down at him. "Hey, Aang."

Her hands settle around his back to return the hug. Aang pulls back from the embrace to meet her eyes, keeping his hands on her shoulders.

Katara looks tired. He wonders why that is.

"I told Zuko I wouldn't help him," she finally says.

His eyes widen in approval. "You did? That's great!"

Katara's hands form fists and her eyes are downcast. "It didn't feel great! He was so hurt when I said no, and I . . . I don't know, Aang. He might still do it even without our help. I just . . ."

"You did the right thing," Aang reassures her.

Katara stiffens, but Aang doesn't think much of it. He's got too much to say, and he's been thinking on how to say it since last night. So he keeps talking.

"I'm sorry I got so mad," he continues. "Zuko's idea was _wrong_, Katara, I couldn't just say nothing! But I shouldn't have gotten mad at you too. I should have trusted you enough to tell Zuko no yourself. I'm sorry. I just assumed, because of the Southern Raiders . . . I was just scared, after Zuko took you on that trip to get revenge, that you would slowly end up agreeing with his evil tendencies."

"Aang . . ." Katara's eyes are tense and gleaming with an unfamiliar light. Aang wonders why her expression is so blank. He figures she's just remembering the past.

"But I know you're better than that, Katara." Aang grins happily. "You're _good_. I knew it from the moment I saw you. You do what's _right_. You wouldn't help Zuko torture anyone. You heal and you take care of people and you were strong enough to forgive your mother's killer—"

She shoves his hands off her shoulders, taking two steps back.

Aang is stunned. "Katara? What's wrong?"

Her face is cold and enraged, and Aang feels hurt.

"You know _nothing_ about me, Aang."

"What are you talking about?" he questions. "I'm your boyfriend! Of course I know you!"

"No, you don't." She exhales slowly. "Zuko was right. You don't understand the world. All you see is your right and wrong, your philosophy. You see what you want to see, not what's really there. You don't understand how hard it was for me to tell Zuko no. He's not _wrong_ and he's not _evil_. I was so close to saying yes, did you know that? You don't really _see _me, Aang. I'm not what you think I am. I'm not perfect and I'm not always good and sometimes, I just don't _want_ to do the right thing."

Aang sighs. "Katara, I wish we could be over all this drama. Please. Yesterday was confusing, I know, but you figured it out and you did the right thing!" He reaches for her hand but she snaps it away. "I don't understand, Katara! What's up with you? Why is it that being around Zuko always makes you act difficult?"

"WHAT?" she snaps. "This isn't because of him! Don't bring him into this!"

"Fine!" he retorts. "Even if it's not because of him, you're still being impossible! I talked to Gran Gran yesterday and she said I should give you some space, so I did! I thought you would be calmer by now! I thought we were planning to leave for the Northern Air Temple today! I want to get back to doing what we're supposed to be doing for the world!"

"You _thought_," she mutters. "You planned." Her voice rises like a furious storm surge. "You wanted. Have you ever wondered what _I_ think? What_ I_ want?"

"Of course I do!" Aang replies. "I love you, Katara! I care what you think!"

"Then when was the last time you asked for my opinion before planning where we're going next?" Aang blinks, his mind processing the question. Katara snorts at his silence. "When was the last time we walked into a town where you didn't introduce me as,_ This is Katara, my girlfriend?_" Her eyes are fiery.

Aang frowns. "What's wrong with saying you're my girlfriend?"

"You don't get it," she laughs darkly. "You just don't get it."

"Then explain it to me!" he snaps.

Aang suddenly feels a sense of foreboding, as if he's just triggered something dangerous.

"Maybe I want to be _more_ than your girlfriend, Aang!" she shouts. "Maybe I want to be called _Katara, the Avatar's waterbending master_! Or maybe _Katara, daughter of the chieftain of the Souther Water Tribe_! AND MAYBE I want you to politely ask me to heal your Air Acolytes, or to wash your clothes, or to cook your meals, instead of just ASSUMING I'll do it all! AND MAYBE I want to use my talents to really help people instead of wasting away babysitting you and your fan club! AND MAYBE I want to stay more than two days in the South Pole, in my own home, instead of running around the world all the time! AND MAYBE I want to cook sea prunes, and eat meat and fish and seafood, instead of your tasteless Air Nomad vegetables!"

"WHAT?" Aang yelps defensively. "What's wrong with my food?"

"It's always your culture! Air Nomad this, Air Nomad that! When have you ever cared about who _I_ am?" Katara seethes, her voice still growing louder. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS, AANG!"

"Tired of what?" he cries in frustration.

"US! I'M TIRED OF US!"

The words knock the breath out of his lungs. Like a punch to the gut, like a cold ocean wave.

"You . . . you don't mean that."

She stares at the horizon, refusing to meet his gaze.

Aang's eyes overflow with sudden tears. Katara's is startled. "Aang, I—"

He shakes his head furiously, snapping open his glider and running from the dock.

"Aang, wait!"

He doesn't wait. The Avatar jumps off the edge of the pier and summons his home element, calls on the winds to embrace him and comfort him and carry him far away from this horrible situation. He doesn't look back. He soars, higher and higher over the frozen tundra.

High enough that no one on the ground could see him cry.

Aang remembers the town Jet nearly flooded, remembers watching the dam shatter and crumble under the fire of blasting jelly. He remembers the flash flood, the unimaginable pressure of a raging, sweeping, thundering wall of water that razed a town to the ground. It's so hard to comprehend. One day, the town is happy and safe, living obliviously in the dam's shadow. The next day, the dam breaks and the town is wiped off the map.

But now Aang thinks he understands.

As he watches the sun rise over the polar wastes, the Avatar cries his heart out. The wind wipes away his tears. Usually it would be a comforting feeling, but here, even the wind is too cold for him.

Never in his one hundred and thirteen years has Aang felt so alone.

. . .


	13. Letters pt 1

_AN: I know this has been done before by other writers, but the idea of Katara and Zuko sending each other letters is just so darn cute! This is part one of two._

* * *

**Letters ****pt 1**

_Hello? How are you?_  
_It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry_  
_I hope that you're well_

_\- "Hello" by Adele_

* * *

Dear Zuko,

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you! Are we still friends?

Please don't stop writing to me.

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Dear Katara,

Of course we're still friends! Who do you think I am?

Also, I'm the one who should apologize. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have pressured you to do something you weren't comfortable with.

Uncle talked to me before I left, and I think when it came from his mouth, I finally understood. I'm becoming like my father, too willing to use force and fear and pain to achieve what I want. I never even saw it happening. Mai did though. It's the reason she left me. But now I know. And now I remember what I always knew—Ozai loves power. After all his other power was stripped away, the only thing he has left is his tiny sliver of influence over me, and he relishes it.

I refuse to let him mess with my head. My mother is out there somewhere. I tracked the Avatar across the world, so I can figure out a way to find her too. I don't need Ozai's help.

How's everyone doing? Could you ask Aang what he thinks of Yu Dao Colony? When are you going to leave the South Pole?

How are you?

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Dear Zuko,

Good! If you stopped writing me I would have to come to the Fire Nation to beat some sense into you.

You're nothing like your father, Zuko. Don't be too hard on yourself. The position you're in isn't easy, and I know none of us could understand the kinds of decisions you have to make. Just . . . don't forget who you are, okay?

Everyone's doing great. Sokka is still basking in the praise for the South Pole's renovation, and Suki has decided to stick around for a few months. Toph has gone back to her metalbending academy. Speaking of the South Pole . . . I think I'll be staying here for a while. Winter is coming, and the Tribe could use another set of hands. Besides, I've missed my old life here. It's good to be back.

I don't know about Aang, but all of us here are worried about news from Yu Dao. We heard there were skirmishes between Fire Nation soldiers and local militias. What's up with that?

In other news, I've started teaching waterbending! My first class is only three students, two little girls and a toddler boy. They are the _cutest_ little things! And we've started discovering more kids with an aptitude for waterbending in other villages across the South Pole. Soon I'll be teaching a whole school!

I wish we could talk in person. Why are letters so _slow_?

I hope you're doing well! You better not be skipping meals, or we will have words.

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Dear Katara,

I'm not skipping meals, I promise! Okay, maybe once or twice . . . but politics waits for no one! I can't always eat dinner when I have treaties to draft and petitions to review.

Suki's staying at South Pole City? Should I be expecting a wedding invitation soon? I'm glad everyone's doing well. Keep me updated, will you? I wish our letters were faster too, but slow letters are better than nothing. It's amazing that you're the master at the Waterbending Academy. I'm happy for you. Teaching seems like something you would love, especially teaching little kids. Are you making progress?

Uncle has left for Ba Sing Se. I'm sad to see him gone, but he says he'll be back soon. He has plans to open a second Jasmine Dragon here in the capital. I suspect he also wants to help me work out the treaties for the Colonies.

Speaking of the Colonies, Yu Dao is a _mess_. Kuei and I are stuck in peace talks with the mayor, and I'm having doubts. This Harmony Restoration Movement, it's being met with a lot of resistance. I think I need to take a trip to Yu Dao myself next month, to see what's causing this unrest. It would be really helpful if the Avatar came too.

Katara, why aren't you with Aang? Where _is_ Aang?

Are you okay?

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Dear Zuko,

Hopefully this letter reached you before you left!

Teaching is a lot of fun, even if the kids are a handful of trouble. It's going really well. You're right, I do love teaching. It distracts me from other things. Like Aang.

You're annoyingly perceptive. Yeah, I'm okay. Mostly.

Aang and I had a . . . big argument the day after the summer solstice. I think maybe I kind of sort of _broke up_ with him. He ran away. I don't think he wants to see me or deal with the world right now. Don't worry, Sokka has been sending Guru Pathik letters about the situation in Yu Dao, so if Aang stops by the Eastern Air Temple he'll be informed. I just hope Aang cares enough to read them.

Sokka is worried about the unrest. I don't think you'll have to worry about wedding invitations just yet. He and Suki have gone to Yu Dao, if you haven't heard. They should be arriving before you.

Toph's academy is nearby too, so you should stop by there and take her with you.

The people there are angry. Don't be an idiot.

Stay safe, okay?

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Zuko,

Are you alive?

It's been a month since your last letter!

I'm at the Northern Air Temple right now. I flew here a few days ago by airship. Teo's people have been hit by some kind of plague. I'm healing people as fast as I can, and I think everything is under control. I'll probably be here for another week or so, and then it's back to the South Pole.

According to Teo, Aang is somewhere in the Eastern Earth Kingdom. Have you seen him at Yu Dao?

I've sent two copies of this letter, to Yu Dao and to the capital, just in case.

Write to me, please!

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Katara,

I'm sorry I haven't written in so long! Life has been drowning me with work.

I've stalled for time on the matter of Yu Dao but I had to return home on short notice. There are riots in the streets over the price of _food_, Katara. This is one of those weeks when I remember that running an entire country is terrifying. It feels like I'm trying to fix a leaking dam by putting my hand over a crack, only for the pressure to burst a new crack somewhere else.

I only have two hands!

Something tells me it's going to be a very rough winter in the Fire Nation.

I'm glad Teo's people are doing better. Any word from Aang? I saw Toph, Suki, and Sokka at Yu Dao a few weeks ago, but I didn't see Aang. I have no idea where he is now. Speaking of Yu Dao, if Sokka hasn't told you already, Yu Dao's mayor and King Kuei have agreed to another year of peace while they work on the terms of disintegration. I suspect, though, that the mayor has no intention of disintegrating.

Toph has volunteered to keep Yu Dao under control. She's now a Fire Nation general.

Can you believe that? Toph Beifong, a _general_ of the Fire Nation military. As funny as it sounds, it was the best option. I had to put someone trustworthy in charge there, and at least this way, both Kuei and I are satisfied. My troops have already nicknamed her "the Iron Dragon."

How's the South Pole doing? How are you doing?

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Zuko,

Sounds like you could use a waterbender to fix that dam!

I'm joking, but I'm also serious. Let me know if you need me to come visit, okay?

No word from Aang. I'm fine.

The South Pole is doing great. The Academy has really settled into its place here as part of the town. It's like the hub of all our activity now. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it might be Sokka's greatest achievement yet. Don't tell him I told you that. Speaking of Sokka, he's back! Suki is at Kyoshi. Ty Lee took care of the warriors while she was gone. Sokka tells me the negotiations went as well as expected. As in, not very well.

How'd you convince Kuei to put the issue off for another year?

I hope you've figured out the riots in the Fire Nation. I know I say this a lot, but don't die, okay? The current political climate sounds like the perfect time for you to get assassinated. Because of that, I told Suki that she should bring a few Kyoshi warriors to your palace. She'll be there by next week.

Don't complain, Zuko, this is for your own safety.

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Katara,

You are such a meddler.

Seriously, I had this under control! But no, you just had to send Suki to make my guards look incompetent. If anything, this is only going to encourage assassins because they'll think I'm afraid!

Even so, thanks. Having Suki around does help me sleep at night.

The Yu Dao Pact happened thanks to Toph and Uncle. They talked King Kuei into loosening up on his strict leadership style. Apparently he thought being strict would compensate for his earlier weaknesses during the war. Toph bluntly told him he was an idiot and that Yu Dao needed more time. Thus, the one-year pact. I can't believe it's already been a month since it started.

Katara, somehow I can tell that you're not okay. Talk to me?

Also, about you coming to the capital—_NO_, I do not want you here. Stay in the South Pole.

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Zuko,

Wow, that was mean.

You don't _want_ me there? I just wanted to offer my help, you jerk! But I see how it is.

I'm kidding, Zuko. I know you're just worried and you don't want to put anyone else in danger. Still, I'm here if you need me. Don't forget that.

You're right, I'm not okay.

It's been half a year already. I can't seem to stop thinking about Aang. Spirits, this is hurting so much more that I thought it would. It's a hole in my chest, Zuko . . . I don't know how to fix it. I hear his voice everywhere, I see his eyes in the clouds. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep trying to forget what I yelled at him that night. But I'll be okay. The South Pole has been good for me.

ALSO, guess what I heard!

Sokka has been asking Gran-Gran vague questions about Water Tribe marriage traditions! And Suki mentioned _something_ in her last letter to me. She was asking about my opinion on intercultural marriages. I think you know what that means . . . has she told you anything?

Take care of Suki! And don't you dare die on me.

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Katara,

Thanks for the gossip about Sokka and Suki . . . Sokki? Sukka? Anyway, I can confirm your suspicions because Suki has been acting a little weird. She hasn't told me anything but she's been daydreaming a lot lately, and last week she went shopping for formal silk gowns with her warriors. If this is what I think it is, and I'm pretty sure it is, I'm excited for them both.

When the wedding happens I'll be sad to see her go. She's been a great help in keeping me alive and in one piece. She's stopped six assassination attempts so far!

My mother's birthday is coming up.

As for what happened with you and Aang, I know how you feel. It'll hurt for a while. For a really long time, actually. I think when Mai left I just sort of suppressed the hurt because I had too much work to do, and it hasn't been good for me. Suki says I drink too much.

I hope you figure things out. Aang will probably come back to you. And if he doesn't . . . you're the strongest person I know. Even experiences like this will only make you stronger.

Let me know if you need anything! I've sent some fire flakes with this letter to cheer you up.

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Zuko,

You have no idea how much I smiled when I tried the fire flakes. Tui and La! They're just as insufferably spicy as I remember. I've had seven glasses of moose-cow milk and my mouth is still burning!

But thank you, for the advice and the fire flakes.

I'd forgotten how much I missed Fire Nation food, as spicy as it is.

OH! I have important gossip to share! Sokka . . . yes, my idiotic, hopeless, teenage brother Sokka, has started carving a _betrothal necklace_! I almost can't believe this is happening. It feels like the war was just yesterday, but it's been more than a year and a half already! The betrothal will probably happen sometime this coming spring.

Maybe I'm just being nostalgic, but I miss those days. I miss when we were wandering around the world. I miss the variety. I miss all the people.

And . . . I miss you, Zuko.

This will probably be my last letter for a while. The winter blizzard months are coming, and soon nobody will be able to get in or out of the South Pole, not even messenger hawks.

Stay safe! Take care of Suki!

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .


	14. Wisdom

_AN: I love journeys of self-discovery. I think Aang would be the kind of person to go on a spiritual journey seeking enlightenment. For the philosophically curious among you readers, a lot of this chapter is influenced by Buddhism and Taoism, just like the show itself was._

* * *

**Wisdom**

_People are water, t__hey need to be free_  
_They need to explore more where they want to be_  
_We cannot be keepers of anyone's key_  
_We have to love in a way that sets them free_

_-"Water" by Aisha Badru_

* * *

The wind never stays still, and neither does its people.

South Pole City is far behind him. He's going wherever the sky takes him now.

Aang has been wandering in the lonely places of the world for weeks—the Foggy Swamp, the great desert, the Eastern Air Mountains. He's looking for _something_. He doesn't know what. As the Avatar he should be out in the world helping people, but somehow, instinctively, he knows that he needs a break. Even the Avatar can't do his job if he's exhausted.

Aang is exhausted to the bone.

As he explores the untouched wilderness around the world, as he meets isolated villages and wandering spirits, Aang wonders on the nature of the Avatar.

Why is he here? Who is he meant to be?

Sometimes Aang just wants to be a regular boy, but the Avatar Spirit is his, and it will be his until his dying day. And from what he's heard from previous Avatars . . . maybe it's not right to chase what he wants. Maybe that's the price of his spiritual immortality. Maybe Guru Pathik was right when he said enlightenment can only be achieved by letting go of love and accepting responsibility.

Still, it hurts so much. He never _chose_ to be the Avatar, and he's trying his best despite being so young. Why can't he just get the one thing he wants? Aang travels the desolate wilds, looking for answers in the hidden corners of the world.

But the world offers no answers. It only gives him more questions.

. . .

"Hey, if it isn't the Avatar!"

Aang's eyes widen. He blinks, then grins. "_Chong_? Secret tunnel dudes?"

"Man, it's good to see you!" drawls Chong, giving the Avatar a hug. "You've gotten all scruffy, Master Arrowhead! Or should I say No-Arrowhead?"

Aang laughs awkwardly. "Yeah, it's been a while since I shaved my head."

"Don't worry, kid, we got ya covered!" another nomad says, bringing out a razor. The singing nomads bring Aang into their camp with warm greetings and snippets of songs. Chong sits Aang down on a rock with a pail of water and soap and works on shaving Aang's head.

"What are you guys doing out here?" asks Aang. "In the middle of nowhere?"

Chong frowns. "Yeah, good question! What are we doing here?"

The other nomads shrug.

"Anywhere's the middle of nowhere if you have nowhere to go," Chong muses. "I guess we're just here for the journey! What about you, little Arrowhead?"

"I . . . I ran away. From something important."

The singer hums a random tune. "Well, maybe you're not running _from_ something! Maybe you're running _toward_ something else! It'll all a matter of perspective, ya know?" He waves his hands widely. Aang ducks his head to avoid being hit by the razor. "Or maybe you're not running at all, and this is where you're meant to be. Music and air aren't so different, right? This is what we do, Master Arrowhead! We don't _think_, we just _go_. We live _freeee_."

"Free . . ." Aang sighs. "How can I be free? I'm the Avatar!"

"Well doesn't that make you the freest of us all?"

Aang blinks.

"You've got all those past lives guiding you, right?" Chong waves his eyebrows eerily. "They got all that concentrated wisdom, man. You don't have to think so hard! Just let go of your worries and let your true nature guide you. Just go with the flow, bro!"

The words echo in his mind. "Wisdom . . . you're right. I need wisdom."

. . .

Aang is at the summit of the tallest peak in the Eastern Mountains.

The air here is cold and thin, burning his lungs, sending shivers down his spine. Even Appa is breathing heavily. The Avatar leaps off of Appa's back and walks over to the stone pillar. This is the oldest Air Nomad shrine in the world. True freedom and detachment, embodied in one place.

In the glow of the dawn, he feels the Spirit World so close, its energy bleeding into this reality.

He reaches for the light within himself.

When he opens his eyes, an ethereal figure appears before him, bathed in the pinks and golds of sunrise. Somehow, though her black hair and her tan skin and her gray clothes are all foreign to him, Aang knows that this is the first one. The very first airbending Avatar.

She smiles kindly. _"You are conflicted, child of the sky."_

"Please," he says. "Can you help me? The world is out of balance and there's so much for the Avatar to do, but I don't feel like the Avatar anymore! I feel so lost. Please. How do I fix this?"

_"Before restoring balance to the world,"_ she replies, _"you must restore balance within yourself. Your individual attachments cloud your vision as the Avatar. Accept that you are not an individual, that there is no self. Let the fog pass, and the skies will be clear."_

Aang bites back a choked sob. Everywhere he goes, the answer is the same. Let go, they all say. Let go.

"But I love Katara!" he cries. "I don't want to be the Avatar if it means I can't love!"

The airbender's smile grows heartbroken. _"Believe me, little one, I understand. But this is a lesson you have learned over many lifetimes, and one you will learn again. Love is more than just keeping who you want. The greatest love,"_ she whispers, _"is caring for someone enough to let them go."_

. . .

Aang lands Appa in the clearing at the Eastern Air Temple.

The guru is meditating where he usually does, his eyes closed and his back facing Aang.

"I sense the wandering Avatar has returned," Pathik teases, standing up and turning toward him. "I have many letters for you from your friend Sokka, bearing dire news. The world remains in turmoil, Aang, and the city of Yu Dao is at the center of this conflict. What will you do?"

Aang walks over and kneels at Pathik's feet.

The old guru's eyes widen.

"I'm beginning to realize," says Aang, "that I have more to learn."

Pathik's surprised face relaxes into a smile. "Indeed, Aang. We all have more to learn. Your wisdom exceeds your years, if you have come to this realization at such a young age. Welcome back, my pupil. What is it that you need from me?"

Aang rises and grins weakly. "First, some onion-banana juice, please!" His smile fades into a determined frown. "And then, I want to learn how to seek enlightenment. True enlightenment."

"Very well." Pathik gazes at him with a deep respect. "You have grown, Avatar Aang."

. . .

Within a few months, Aang is close to enlightenment.

He does not measure his progress. He does not even see time in months anymore, for now he understands. There is no time, there is no goal, and there is no self. All things are connected, the past and the future, all creatures living and spiritual—the separation is an illusion.

He has not moved from his lotus position in so long, yet it feels like only a moment to him.

His mind has wandered far and wide, into places he does not know how to name. He sees the cycles of life repeated over and over at every scale, from the life of a butterfly, to the passing of the seasons, to the Avatar cycle, to the slow and gentle turning of the universe itself.

Aang sees all.

He sees the waves of change rolling over the face of the world, constant yet impermanent. He sees the roots of the swamp beneath the earth, reaching out and holding everything together. He sees the fires in the hearts of humanity, sees the burning string of fate that ties people together through little moments and long years. He sees the endless light and dark sharing the sky, not separate but unified, in harmony as one whole, free without emotion or suffering.

He remembers Aunt Wu's words. _You have the power to shape your own destiny._

Avatar Aang sees all, and now he understands.

Destiny is unchanging. Nobody can predict the future, and no one can deny it. Everything he does to shape his own destiny _becomes_ his destiny. Most of all, no one can create destiny. _It_ creates _them_.

Each individual only has the power to live, and the power to choose how _they_ live.

Aang cannot control his destiny. He cannot choose whether Katara wants to love him the way he loves her. Only Katara can choose that. But Aang can choose to do what the Avatar should do. Aang can shape his destiny in the natural direction, instead of futilely trying to push it in another direction. If he lets everything go, he can become what the world needs.

He wants to be what the world needs.

He _is_ what the world needs.

Avatar Aang finds enlightenment in the silence of an empty sky.

. . .

The moment he lands at the fortress in Yu Dao, rocks start flying.

Aang roots himself in his stance and slams his fists into each incoming projectile, but there are just too many. He doesn't summon the Avatar State. This is a brawl between earthbenders.

If he uses any other bending, Toph would be disappointed in him.

Soon enough he finds himself overwhelmed, and he hears the gasps of his Air Acolytes behind him, from where they sit on Appa's back. Three walls of rock surround him, separating him from Appa and the Acolytes. Toph hasn't grown any taller, but she's still just as terrifying. The little earthbender thunders toward him like an angry badgermole, and Aang decides to stop resisting.

"You've got some nerve!" shouts Toph. "What made you decide to show up now, huh? It's been eight months! EIGHT MONTHS!"

Aang hangs his head in defeat and shame.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"You're _what_?"

"I'm sorry I ran away!"

Toph shakes her head in pity. "You're _really_ sorry?" He nods, and she walks closer to him, arms held out in front of her. Aang smiles and opens his arms for a hug.

_BAM._ Aang staggers, gasping in agony from the unexpected punch to the gut.

"That's for yelling at Zuko," spits Toph.

_BAM!_ The second blow is to his chest, throwing him backward.

"THAT'S for running away for half a year!"

Before he can even stand up straight he sees the end of the third punch right in front of his face. _BAM!_ The uppercut sends him flying.

"AND _THAT'S_ FOR MAKING KATARA CRY!"

He lands in a heap on the granite floor, his vision swimming like a dancing Sokka on cactus juice. Toph walks up to him. Aang winces, ready for another punch. She offers her hand. He takes it, and she pulls him up into a hug. "Welcome back, Twinkletoes. We all missed you."

Though he sees the tears in her blind eyes, Aang doesn't say a word.

. . .

Winter has passed, and spring is in full bloom.

Aang and his Acolytes stop by South Pole City for a friendly visit, before they head to the Southern Air Temple where Aang plans to settle for a month or so. When they land Appa at the airport, Katara, Hakoda, and Sokka are waiting for them.

Katara is just as beautiful as he remembers.

But as he sees her in the glow of a familiar polar dawn, Aang realizes something is different. She's beautiful, but so is Sokka, rugged and in the prime of his youth, yet still smiling with infinite humor. So is Hakoda, his hair graying yet jaw set strong and eyes warm and welcoming.

Yes, Katara is breathtaking. Her cerulean eyes are wide with surprise at the sight of him here, her hair long and flowing and no longer kept in loopies, her mouth set in a conflicted but graceful smile.

Aang sees her beauty, but something is different.

The want is gone.

He no longer wants Katara, he realizes. He wants _for_ Katara. He wants for her to be happy, to be safe, to be _free_. He still loves her, but he wants her to be free.

Aang remembers the wisdom of the first airbending Avatar, and he finally understands.

He loves Katara enough to let her go.

. . .


	15. Company

_AN: I heard that in the comics the Kyoshi warriors were Zuko's bodyguards for a while. I could totally see Zuko and Suki becoming almost brother and sister. Next after this chapter is letters part two!_

* * *

**Company**

_Here's to the ones that we got_  
_Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not_  
_Cause the drinks bring back all the memories_  
_Of everything we've been through_

_\- "Memories" by Maroon Five_

* * *

"What in the name of Kyoshi is _that_?"

The Fire Lord grins. "Want some?"

"I don't know," Suki deliberates. "Is it strong enough to drown all my worries?"

Zuko snorts in amusement. He holds out his glass. "Try it."

Suki takes a sip and winces as it burns down her throat. The drink is fiery, with a strong hint of some kind of spice and a strange aftertaste. Definitely strong enough to drown her worries.

"I need a _full_ glass of whatever this is, please."

Zuko tries in vain to smother his laughter as he pours out another glass for her. "Chili-cherry brandy," he explains. "Unique to the Fire Nation." Suki accepts it graciously and sets her fans down nearby, taking a seat across from him and kicking her feet up on the expensive ebony desk. She disapproves of his drinking but she knows it's one of the few comforts he gets as Fire Lord. Usually he only drinks some rice wine with dinner every day.

"Should the Fire Lord really be consuming alcohol this late at night?" she teases. "In his office, no less?"

Zuko rolls his eyes. "Shut up and drink, bodyguard."

She doesn't argue.

Halfway through her glass, Suki grins at him wickedly when she realizes something. The only other times she's seen him drink something this strong was when letters from Katara arrived. Suki's not sure what was up with that, but she has her suspicions. "What's the occasion? Another letter from a certain waterbender?"

Zuko sighs.

"Well?" she repeats, intent on not letting him off the hook.

"Tomorrow—well, today, I guess, since it's midnight—is my mother's birthday."

Suki gasps. A sour feeling fills her gut. She had no idea. Come to think of it, she realizes she doesn't know much about Zuko's family. She has the feeling none of the Gaang knows either. Zuko gives her a wan smile. "I figured since I can't share a drink with my mother or my sister, a best friend would have to do."

The sour feeling suddenly flips into a warmth that spreads upward to her face.

She returns the smile shyly.

They share a moment of silence in the quiet office.

"Do you . . . want to talk about your mother?" she offers.

Zuko's expression is set in stone but his hands are trembling. "No."

"Okay." Suki can't imagine how Zuko feels. She always had her Kyoshi warriors and her village, but Zuko doesn't really have a Fire Nation family left.

His mother is gone, his father is locked up, his uncle is far away, and Azula . . . well, Suki has accompanied him on his trips to the mental institution where the former Fire Princess now lives. The Kyoshi warrior does not like it one bit. Not Azula's vacant expression, not the institution's bland and oppressive walls, not the heartbroken light in Zuko's eyes when he talks to the husk of his sister.

Suki finds it amazing that Zuko still loves Azula, after all she did.

She can hear her girls patrolling the hallways outside. Having more than a glass of this stuff is probably not a good idea. Her senses will be too dulled, and she wouldn't see a surprise attack coming. But it is his mother's birthday, and Zuko looks like he needs company more than protection.

Suki downs the last of her glass and slams it on the desk, earning an amused chuckle from the Fire Lord. "I want another one, Sparky," she demands.

"Not you too! Toph's nicknames alone are bad enough! Not to mention Sokka calling me jerkbender." Zuko sighs wearily. "I miss them all. Katara was talking about it in her last letter, how much she misses the old days, and I think I do too. This job is killing me, Suki. As awful as it sounds, I really miss the war."

"Yeah," she agrees. "Me too. Things were simple back then."

"Simple," muses Zuko. "Yeah, simple was nice. I miss Toph's bluntness so much. I miss Aang's cheerful attitude. I even miss your boyfriend's awful jokes."

Suki's smile turns wistful.

Now it's Zuko's turn to give a wicked grin. "Someone's daydreaming."

The Kyoshi leader scowls defensively. "Was not!"

"Sure, sure," he teases. "Seriously though, when are you going to start sending out wedding invitations? Have you picked out a dress already?"

Suki chokes on her drink and splutters. "How did you—"

"Aha!" Zuko smiles slyly. "I had a hunch."

The young woman's face reddens beneath her warpaint. "Katara told you, didn't she?"

"Perhaps," he replies mysteriously. "I don't reveal my sources."

"Damn it!" Suki shakes a fist at the sky. "I thought I could trust you, Katara!"

Zuko's grin turns teasing again. "Suki! How rude! That's no way to talk about a future_ sister-in-law_!"

The Kyoshi warrior picks up a fan and points it at him threateningly. "Not another _word_ out of you, Fire Lord, or I will cut your tongue out!" They glare at each other for a moment, then both burst into soft laughter. Suki has to admit she enjoys this job.

As much work as it is, guarding the palace from constant threats, Suki has grown really attached to Zuko. Being an only child, she doesn't quite know what this feeling is, but it's kind of like the bond she shares with her Kyoshi warriors. She thinks maybe it's a lot like what Sokka and Katara share—a deep mutual respect, a fierce protectiveness, an easy camaraderie.

"Speaking of my future sister-in-law," says Suki, seeing a way out of this that will salvage the remains of her pride, "should I be expecting a _brother-in-law_ sometime in the future?"

Zuko doesn't miss a beat. "Maybe a bald airbending brother-in-law."

Suki frowns. "But they're not together anymore, right? They haven't been since last year."

"That doesn't mean they won't get back together," he counters. "They're both very loyal people. I wouldn't be surprised if they got over their fight and started dating again this year."

There is a slight, well-hidden tinge of bitterness in his voice.

"Zuko . . ."

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to ask you something weird. I expect a straight answer." When he sighs and nods, Suki asks the question. "You and Katara . . . were you ever a _thing_?"

His eyes widen. "What do you mean?"

"Well," she replies with a shrug, "the way you write letters, and the way you act around each other, it just made me wonder is all. Were you?"

"No, we were never anything but friends," he answers.

"Not even under Ba Sing Se?"

Zuko frowns, but Suki smirks when she sees his face has turned as red as his scar. "Whatever you think happened under Ba Sing Se, it is _definitely_ not true. Especially not what the Ember Island Players suggested."

"But there was _something_?" she asks.

He's silent for a moment. "Maybe."

Suki smiles softly. "It's never too late to tell her, you know. When I first told Sokka how I felt, he was so unsure and I think he didn't want to forget Yue. But I took a chance, and that chance paid off. So if you think there's something, don't let it go, Zuko. You only live once."

Zuko rolls his eyes. "You sound like Uncle."

"Great minds think alike, obviously."

They share a quiet laugh. Zuko stares into his drink for a moment. "Thanks for the girly advice, sis."

Zuko is on his third glass and probably not thinking straight, but Suki doesn't care. She likes that title. Sister. It sounds kind and strong and dependable.

Suki knows that life is messy. She knows that Katara makes Zuko happy, she knows how excited the Fire Lord gets over even a letter from the waterbender. But she also knows that Katara and Aang are still working things out, and that Zuko has too many responsibilities on his plate to think of these things.

Even so, Suki feels like a sister to all of them, especially Zuko. She wants him to be happy.

She silently prays to Kyoshi that it will all work out.

. . .


	16. Letters pt 2

_AN: Thank you to all who left reviews. You make me very happy. Also, Zutara week is coming soon! I'm so excited!_

* * *

**Letters ****pt 2**

_I see everything you can be_  
_I see the beauty that you can't see_  
_On the nights you feel outnumbered_  
_I'll be out there somewhere_

_\- "Outnumbered" by Dermot Kennedy_

* * *

Dear Zuko,

How are you!?

The blizzards have finally lessened a bit so I can write to you again!

Gran Gran and Pakku got married yesterday, on the night of the first full moon that marks the end of the blizzard months! The whole Water Tribe celebrated, and it was so much fun. Also, Sokka finished his betrothal necklace for Suki! It actually looks pretty good! Is has a wave and a fan design together. If you're done borrowing Suki, can you send her back to me, please?

How's everyone doing?

I miss you! Stay safe!

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Katara,

I've missed you too.

Suki has been a great help. I think the worst of the riots here are over, and Omashu has agreed to help with the food shortages, so things are looking better. As much as I dislike losing my best guards, I sent Suki and the Kyoshi girls home. Suki was sad to leave. She's grown very fond of Fire Nation brandy.

I'm doing well.

Uncle came to visit last week. He's lost all the muscle he built up during the war. Now he's back to his chubby old self. It's pretty funny. His business is booming, and he has this insane theory that he might be able to open even more tea shops. I think he's being too ambitious.

Things are going well in the Fire Nation. A lot of the industries that focused on making products for the war have shifted focus to making things for daily life. It's leading to some unbelievable changes here. Last month I went on a tour of a facility that uses modified Air Nomad gliders fitted with engines to fly! They're called airplanes. I've already established airplane routes worldwide for faster mail delivery. Now that your blizzards are done, I'll establish one from the capital to the South Pole too. I think it has potential, and it made me realize, maybe the war wasn't all bad. Maybe it can be good for the world too.

My advisors have been pressuring me to consider an arranged marriage. They say it would be politically wise. I am currently not in the mood to get married.

In other news, I heard that Aang and his Acolytes are at Yu Dao with Toph right now. Hear anything from him?

How's the South Pole?

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Zuko,

Those airplanes have started landing at the Academy here and they're amazing! With this we can send each other letters within days! It's funny to think the war is what made this possible. I think you're right, though. Maybe the war wasn't all bad if we look for the positives that came from it.

If you don't want to marry anyone, don't marry! You're the Fire Lord! You can do what you want, ya know.

In other news . . . I saw Aang.

He hasn't spoken to me in months and then he suddenly showed up today with a bunch of Air Acolytes. He's taking them to see the Southern Air Temple and they stopped by the South Pole to say hi. When he saw me he hugged me, and he wasn't angry or anything, but you know that cheerfulness he always has? It was gone. He says he's found enlightenment. He's still the same, but somehow really different too. It's like his mind isn't really _here_.

I know I broke up with him, but . . . it just breaks my heart to see him like this because of me. I have this intense urge to hug him and feed him custard tarts until he gets happier, but I can't go back to what we used to be. I haven't told him any of this. I don't know how. I'm so confused.

Spirits, what should I do?

By the way, Aang didn't say anything about Yu Dao when Sokka asked, except that he wants you to remove the colony and restore harmony peacefully or he will intervene.

How are things in the capital? My offer to come visit still stands!

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Katara,

You can't come to the capital. It's not that I don't want you here, it's just too dangerous. I can't even feel safe in my own house. Do you know how much more worried I'd be if you were here too? I know you can take care of yourself, but I'd still be worried sick.

As for what you said about Aang . . . I shouldn't make judgments. In the end it's between you and him. I can't help you figure out your feelings, but I can give you this advice. A certain waterbender told me this a long time ago, when I was having trouble with Mai. Have you tried _talking_ to Aang? He won't know what you think unless you tell him, Katara.

As for Yu Dao, I'll try my best to keep it peaceful. I'm having doubts about what the word _harmony_ means, though. My trip to Yu Dao last year really opened my eyes.

There are families there that are half-Fire and half-Earth, Katara. The Fire Colonials and the native Earth citizens have been living, eating, and working together for generations, to the point where there isn't even a line between colonial and native, or between Fire and Earth, anymore.

If that isn't harmony, what is?

I hope you're well! How's the teaching going?

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Zuko,

I actually laughed. Thanks for giving my own advice back to me.

I'll talk to Aang sometime, when he comes to the South Pole. Teaching is going great. We have dozens of students now! Sokka and Suki have gone to Yu Dao again, to help Toph with keeping the peace. Everyone is doing big things, Zuko. It made me realize . . . I've been in the South Pole for half a year.

I've spent enough time here. The world needs me.

So I talked to my dad last week about what I could do. Pakku will take over teaching at the Academy. I'll be going to Ba Sing Se for a while, as an ambassador for the Southern Water Tribe and an advisor to King Kuei. Aang has offered to give me a ride on Appa, so I'll be in Ba Sing Se by next week.

Is Uncle Iroh there? Or is he at the capital?

What you said about Yu Dao does seem like harmony. Two completely different cultures living together . . . maybe this is just how the world is after the war, Zuko. I know the nations are supposed to stay separate, but . . . it gives me hope. Maybe we can all coexist. Not just existing separately, but living _together_, you know?

How are you? I miss you tons.

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Katara,

I miss you too.

I've sent this letter to King Kuei to ensure that you get it.

I'm glad you're out in the world again! Politics sounds like something you'd be good at. Much better than I am, anyway. There are a lot of people in Ba Sing Se who could use your skills. I suggest looking into the quality of life in the Lower Ring.

Unfortunately, you won't find Uncle at Ba Sing Se. He's in Omashu running his third Jasmine Dragon. He has plans to open a fourth on Ember Island! Can you believe it? How can he possibly manage them all? I find it kind of funny that Uncle is treating the tea business like a general would treat a war.

I'm exhausted. Drowning in work, especially education reforms here. I've been so busy with dismantling the military and cleaning up the government that I forgot about education. But now I think it should have been the first thing to be reformed. Those kids are the future of the Fire Nation, and the culture in our schools needs to change if we want to restore harmony.

I think you're right about the future of the nations. The lines are beginning to blur. Maybe it's time we stopped thinking of them as separate peoples. Speaking of blurred cultures, I'm still waiting on Suki and Sokka's wedding invitation! What's taking them so long? It's almost spring already!

In my spare moments I've been trying to find my mother, but everything I've tried leads to dead ends. I think it might be wisest to give up. I'm not at that point yet though.

Good luck with your work!

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Zuko,

You were right. The Lower Ring is a mess.

Ba Sing Se has been really eye-opening for me. There's still so much poverty, so much inequality, so much violence. I'm starting to remember how badly the world is still out of balance, and how much we all need to do.

I started as an ambassador, but now I'm not sure what I am. Social activist? Politician? Public figure? Anyway, I've started pushing for change. The people in the Lower Ring have nothing, _nothing_ compared to the nobles of the Upper Ring. All the times I was here, I only lived in the Upper Ring, so I never understood how wasteful the wealthy are here, while the poor and the middle class suffer. It's disgusting. These walls dividing Ba Sing Se, they need to come down. Aang was being a little conservative and going on about how the walls are ancient history, but I've convinced him that people are more important than tradition.

King Kuei is being stubborn, but I intend to win this argument. I've moved to a house in the Lower Ring just to annoy him.

In other news, it's rainy season over here and I love it! So much water! My hair is all frizzy though. Although, Sokka's hair was way worse. I wish you could have seen it! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Sokka and Suki came to visit me yesterday! They're going back to Yu Dao tomorrow. They seem really worried about the situation there.

Don't lose hope, Zuko. You'll find your mom somehow! There has to be another way. I know you'll think of something. Just don't give up, okay?

How are things there?

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Katara,

It's dry season here, but monsoon season is only three months from now.

There has been growing unrest in the Fire Nation lately. The One Year Pact in Yu Dao is nearing its end, and still no agreement between the mayor and King Kuei. Some people in the Fire Nation are worried, because they have family in the Colonies. A lot of people blame me for being too soft on Kuei. I hope this doesn't escalate into violence. If it does, I'll be the first target.

In other news, I might have found a way to track down my mother. _Smell!_ Jun's shirshu! I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. The problem is I don't know what to use for her scent! Ozai had all her belongings destroyed when he banished her.

If only I could get him to talk . . . I'll figure something out.

I hope you're doing well!

_\- Yours, Zuko_

. . .

/

Zuko,

I've been thinking it over. You need me.

I'll do it. I'll bloodbend Ozai.

Hopefully that will make him talk and we can find something of your mother's to track her scent. I'll be leaving for the Fire Nation as soon as I can. That is, if you want me to? I'll wait for a letter in reply before I set off. Don't do anything stupid, okay?

See you soon!

_\- Love, Katara_

. . .

/

Dear Lady Katara,

The spring equinox is coming, I would advise you go visit your family! Give them my regards! I have sent along some of my finest jasmine tea as a gift.

My nephew is not here. I imagine you can already guess why he left. He has asked me to run the nation in his stead. The last letter I've received from him simply states, _Raikiri Mountain_. It is the southernmost major island in the Fire Nation. I believe he will find the answers he is looking for there.

I appreciate everything you do for Zuko. You mean more to him than you know. But this journey . . . he needs to do this alone.

Thank you, Katara, for giving my nephew everything that I could not.

_Best wishes,_

_Iroh_

. . .


	17. Solitude

_AN: Zuko alone once again . . . or is he? This is my spin on Zuko finding his mother._

* * *

**Solitude**

_She said, "Hearts can break themselves_  
_Looking for something, leaving with nothing_  
_But souls can save themselves, learning to fly."_  
_Sweet mother of mine!_

_\- "Looking for Something" by Paolo Nutini_

* * *

It is the eve of the equinox, when light and dark are in fragile balance.

Her village at the foot of Raikiri Mountain is decorated with white ribbons to honor the dead, and the streets are heavy with the aroma of burning incense.

Today is an important day. Fire Nation tradition dictates that the equinoxes and the solstices are when the spirits of the dead are closest to the world of the living. The spring equinox, especially, when winter leaves and spring arrives, represents letting go of death and accepting new life.

Every year on the spring equinox she travels up the mountain, to the ancient shrine gardens where the ashes of countless Fire Nation citizens are at rest. None of the villagers go with her, because it is against the ancient rules. They are living, and on the equinox the mountain belongs to the dead. Trespassing angers the deceased spirits. She doesn't abide by that rule. She is living, but a part of her is dead.

The equinox is the day where she reconciles her two halves.

"Kiyi, I'm leaving," she calls as she walks out of the house. "Tell your dad when he comes home, okay?"

"Okay! Bye Mom!"

As she climbs the steep, winding path up the mountainside, the woman named Noriko fades, and the ghost of the Fire Lady overtakes her.

Ursa is tired.

It has been so many years since she was exiled for killing Azulon, since she found her old love Ikem, since she settled in this remote village in a secluded corner of the southernmost island in the Fire Nation. The village is so isolated that there are no military barracks here, no one who even recognizes the face of the Fire Lady. As Noriko, she has enjoyed a decade of simple peace.

But while Ursa and Noriko are the same person, Ursa has not lived in peace.

Ursa has lived in hiding, in guilty solitude, in hope and in shame. Her children are still out there, and as long as she lives she will never be able to forgive herself for what she did to them. She wonders how Azula is. News is rare in the countryside, but she knows the war is over and that Zuko is Fire Lord, yet she has not heard anything of Azula. She hopes her daughter is safe and happy and no longer twisted under Ozai's influence.

She wonders how Zuko is doing. She wonders what he looks like now, and whether he'd still recognize her after so long.

Ursa's heart is heavy when she walks up the steps and through the gate of the shrine gardens.

She realizes she's not alone.

The shrine is a tall golden lamp in the middle of the garden, with concentric circles of fragrant oil slowly burning through the night. Countless memorial stones stand around the shrine, each bearing a name. She glances at the tall cloaked figure kneeling in front of one of the stones. Never in all her years here has she seen anyone at the shrine during the equinox. She can't see much in the firelight except straight posture and broad shoulders. The figure seems almost statue-like, unmoving.

She pauses. That's _her_ memorial stone.

_In memory of Ursa, daughter of Rina and Jinzuk._

Ursa silently walks over and kneels behind the man, still unable to see his face.

"This mountain belongs to the dead tonight," she finally says. "The living shouldn't be here."

"Then what about you?" he rasps.

He sounds young, but his voice is tired and broken. He doesn't turn or look at her.

"A part of me is already dead," she replies.

His left hand moves up to his face, touching something she can't see. "A part of me is dead, too." After a long silence, he continues. "I was looking for someone," he says. "Someone that meant the world to me. I've been searching for so long, and I thought I finally had a trail. But I've always been unlucky in life. I should have known where the trail would end."

Ursa's heart suddenly skips a beat. "Who were you looking for?"

The young man gently touches the words engraved on the stone. "Her."

She almost forgets to how breathe.

"Even when she left me," he says, "I kept going because I hoped she was out there somewhere. But now . . . I don't know what to do now."

"I'm here to see her too," Ursa whispers.

"You knew her?"

She takes a deep breath. "Ursa was once very important to me. I was heartbroken when she died, but she gave her life protecting what she cared about most. I think . . . she would tell you that her spirit is in peace, and that you should move on. She would want you to be happy, even without her. She . . . she would tell you that . . ." Her voice breaks. "She _loves_ you, no matter who you are now."

He turns around and pulls his hood back.

"That sounds like something my mother would say."

In a single moment she takes it all in. The fiery scar over the left side of his face. The strong curve of his jaw. The messy black hair falling loose around his forehead, kept short, just long enough to tie back. The smile. She knows that smile. All of this she takes in, but the truth is in his eyes. His warm, tired eyes are a reflection of her own.

Ursa surges forward and crushes him between her arms, unable to hold back her tears.

"I'm sorry," she sobs. "Zuko, I'm so, so sorry."

He gently returns the hug. "You did what you had to, Mom." She brushes his face with her hands, both the scarred and unscarred sides, and she sees that only one of his eyes can cry. "I'm just glad you're alive," he murmurs. "Where _were_ you all these years?"

She takes his hand and stands, pulling him upward, then gazing at the memorial stone.

"Dead," whispers Ursa. "I was dead."

. . .

They return to Raikiri Village together, and back at Noriko's—Ursa's house, she introduces him to her husband and her daughter. Kiyi takes a few minutes to absorb the news, then explodes with happiness at having a new older brother.

They eat dinner together, and Zuko tells tales of the war that make their eyes widen with wonder.

He tells of sneaking into fortresses, swimming under polar ice caps, fighting pirates, crossing deserts, serving tea in Ba Sing Se, learning firebending from dragons, teaching the Avatar, saving the world. Ursa has a feeling he's glossing over many of the darker moments in his stories. The more he speaks, the more her heart aches with familiarity, and the more the two sides of her, Ursa and Noriko, come to terms with each other.

Finally, after a decade of solitude, Ursa has found peace with herself. Her soul feels whole again.

Her son was the missing piece.

As his stories near the end of the war, Ursa's heart trembles for a different reason. Azula. She already fears where this story will end, but when he finally speaks of the Agni Kai and everything that happened, Ursa sighs in relief. She cries, but she is relieved. Azula is alive. Zuko is Fire Lord, Ozai is locked up, and Azula is alive.

That's a better ending than Ursa had expected.

When Kiyi begins to fall asleep, Ikem takes her to bed, leaving Ursa alone with her son.

"Tell me the rest, Zuko," she says. "The bad parts."

He hesitates, then begins speaking, and soon an unending flood of stories spills from his tongue. The more she hears, the more she cries. She learns of how he got his scar, and for the first time she hates the man who used to be her husband. She learns of all the struggles he faced, all the pain and suffering and hopelessness. She learns of how he still hates himself for his failures, for everyone he's hurt and betrayed and let down.

But in everything he says, she also hears hope and strength. Ursa smiles, because even in the face of so much suffering, her son has not forgotten who he is.

And the more Ursa hears, the more she picks up on another fact: Zuko doesn't need her anymore.

Ursa is glad he's found a family that will stand by him no matter what, in a way that she wasn't able to. Ursa is glad for her brother-in-law, who gave Zuko everything Ozai did not. Ursa is glad for the Avatar and his friends, who gave Zuko a home. And Ursa is glad for something she sees in Zuko's eyes whenever he mentions a certain name.

"So that was how I decided not to torture Ozai and instead used smell to track you," he explains. "I used your old wedding dress to give the shirshu your scent." He smiles. "And that's how I ended up here. I still don't understand why the shirshu led me to your memorial stone, though."

"I burned all my royal silks and left the ashes at that shrine when I put that stone up," explains Ursa. "It must have tracked the smell of the ash."

Zuko hums. "That explains it. Anyway, I found you, one way or another." He smiles. "Looking back, I'm glad Katara told me no when I asked her to bloodbend Ozai. She's infuriating but she always tries to help me do the right thing. If we had tortured him, it would have been for nothing. And Katara was right when she said there had to be some other way to find you. I just wish I had listened to her sooner. "

Ursa gives a teasing smile. "This Katara means a lot to you, doesn't she?"

"What?" Zuko blushes pink. "Well, yes. But not like _that, _Mom!"

"Are you sure?" asks Ursa in mock-concern. "You have this dreamy smile on your face whenever you talk about her . . ."

He scowls adorably. "Mom, _stop that_! Seriously!"

Ursa bursts into laughter, and Zuko's burning red face only makes it funnier. From what Zuko has said, Katara sounds compassionate, fierce, loyal, and beautiful, but to Ursa it's simple. Anyone who can make her son smile like this must be someone special.

Though Ursa has never met her, she loves Katara already.

. . .


	18. Longing

_AN: Ok, last chapter before Zutara week, I promise! I wanted to do this one from Gran Gran's perspective but it works better from Katara's._

* * *

**Longing**

_And if our world comes tumbling down_  
_I never could forgive myself for leaving out_  
_You're the one,_  
_You are the only one_

_\- "Honeybee" by the Head and the Heart_

* * *

Katara doesn't know why she's sad.

Tonight is the night of the spring equinox, one of the most joyous nights in Water Tribe culture. Today marks the shift from polar nights to the days of midnight sun, from winter to summer. It is a night for celebration, a night for drinking and feasting and dancing together.

"Okay, I know I said I wasn't scared," mumbles Sokka, "but Katara, I'm really, really scared!"

She rolls her eyes and pats her brother's shoulder. "You've got this, Sokka. Stop worrying."

"But sis!"

He gestures vaguely toward where Suki has gone to procure them some dessert. Dinner and most of the festivities have passed, and now the entire tribe is gathered around an enormous bonfire outside the Waterbending Academy, singing and dancing.

"Seriously, Sokka, stop being a drama queen! How hard can this be?"

"Easy for you to say!"

"You already know what she's going to say," sighs Katara. "Why would you possibly be scared?"

Sokka bites his lip and nervously twirls the necklace in his hand. The terrified expression on his face looks hilarious, but Katara figures now is not the time to tease him about it. She'll save that for later.

She spots Suki approaching them. Katara shoves Sokka's shoulder. "Go, you idiot!"

Sokka gulps and stands up, walking over to Suki. Katara watches expectantly as they begin to talk. But after a long moment, she realizes Sokka has the necklace hidden in his hands behind his back and that he's too nervous to ask anything.

Katara sighs and figures he'll get around to it eventually.

She takes another sip of her tea and turns her gaze back to the great bonfire before her. The flames crackle and dance, and all at once her heart trembles. Memories flash before her eyes.

A warm rasping voice, fiery golden eyes, a subtle but familiar scent.

Katara looks up at the full moon and remembers how bright it was above the Spirit Oasis years ago, when they fought and found themselves evenly matched blow for blow, like a perfect dance between opposite elements. She remembers the crystal catacombs under Ba Sing Se, when he let her feel his scar, the raw honesty and vulnerability in his eyes, that moment when she instinctively realized that this was the first time he had let _anyone_ touch it.

She remembers deeper things, which most people don't see in him. His fierce protectiveness of children, his appreciation for all cultures, his unwavering hope in the face of countless failures. His selflessness for his friends and for his people.

She remembers the Agni Kai.

Tui and La, how could she ever forget the Agni Kai? She thinks of it every day.

Her heart trembles again.

Katara stares at her cup of tea, the same jasmine tea that Iroh had sent her. Today should be a joyful day. Why is she so sad? She's surrounded by family, by her people, by warmth and love and happiness. Why does she feel so empty?

Gran Gran leans over from where she's sitting and places a hand on her shoulder.

"Dear, your tea will get cold."

Katara sighs and takes a sip with no enthusiasm.

"Katara," says Gran Gran. "What's wrong?"

She takes a deep breath. "It's nothing, Gran Gran. It's just . . . Zuko. Iroh said he went looking for his mother, and that he has to do it _alone_. I'm scared for him. I'm afraid he won't find her, and if he doesn't . . . if she's passed away, or gone, he'll . . ."

Kanna nods. "You care for him, but I wouldn't worry. That boy is strong, and he's suffered too much in life. The spirits will be kind to him in this. Have faith in them."

"I . . ." Katara sighs. "Yeah. Thanks Gran Gran."

She takes another sip of her tea. Her eyes fall back on the fire.

Suddenly, a very Sokka-like yelp echoes from nearby. Katara looks over and nearly bursts out laughing. Suki has Sokka pinned to the ground and is trying to reach Sokka's hands, which are hidden under his body out of her reach.

"What are you hiding, Sokka!? Is that alcohol? It better not be more alcohol!"

"What!" cries an indignant Sokka. "It's not alcohol! Even if it were, which it's _definitely_ not, you're not allowed to judge! Zuko told me all about your drinking habits!"

Suki ignores him and picks him up by the legs, flipping him over. Sokka screams and somehow ends up pinned again, this time beneath Suki's knee with his arms in front of him. Suki leans in angrily and Sokka closes his eyes, holding his hands before his face defensively. Suki's glare melts away when she sees what's in his hands. She gasps and stands up, taking a step back.

Sokka grins, then gets on both knees and bows in accordance with Water Tribe tradition, holding the necklace out to her. "Suki, this didn't go quite like I expected, but . . . will you marry me?"

He doesn't get a reply. Suki snatches the necklace and puts it on her neck, then pulls him to his feet and kisses him on the spot. The whole tribe cheers and laughs around them. Katara rolls her eyes at the two lovebirds, but both she and Gran Gran are grinning.

When the two finally part, Suki glares at him. "_Finally!_ I've been waiting for you to ask for months!"

Sokka rubs his neck and laughs awkwardly.

The two start bickering and laughing again, and Katara is happy for them. She gazes at them fondly, ignoring the soft pang of longing in her heart. They're young and in love and together. They're _together_. She's happy for them.

Beside her, Gran Gran hums thoughtfully. "Katara."

She looks over.

"You've been so sad lately," says Kanna. "I know _exactly_ what you need to cheer you up. You're at marrying age! We need to find you a good husband!"

Katara sputters and nearly spits out her tea.

"WHAT?"

"It'll cure all that gloominess," Kanna declares.

"But . . . but . . . you _hate_ arranged marriages, Gran Gran!"

"I'll start looking for nice boys right away," continues Kanna, completely ignoring her. "I have a few ideas already! What do you think of that cute Northern boy, Hahn?"

"_NOOOO!_" cries Katara. "NOT HAHN! Anything but Hahn!"

"Well then, you'd better fix that melancholy attitude you've been stuck in lately! Or you'd better start looking for a nice boy yourself! Otherwise . . . I can think of many other options besides Hahn . . ." Kanna cackles like a villain from a Fire Nation play.

Katara didn't even know her grandmother was _capable_ of cackling.

Whatever her intentions, Gran Gran's goal was achieved. Katara smiles into her cup of tea, listening to Gran Gran starting a conversation with Hakoda about wedding preparations for Sokka and Suki.

Today is a joyful day.

Gran Gran's words linger in her mind, and as Katara gazes at the bonfire, she can't help but wonder.

In the flames, she sees his golden eyes.

. . .


	19. Day 1: Reunion

_AN: Zutara week 2020, day 1! I'm so excited! Leave a review, let me know what you think!_

* * *

**Reunion**

_Nice to meet ya! Where ya been?_  
_Let me treat you to a drink!_

_\- Niall Horan_

* * *

Zuko knows he made a wise decision by telling his mother to stay in Raikiri Village.

On the journey back to the capital, he had been tracked and ambushed, and he had barely escaped. When he finally returned to the palace in the middle of the night, he thought he was safe, but the assassins had followed him all the way there. Zuko should have guessed someone would make use of his absence to set up an assassination attempt.

At least the Fire Lord was the only target. Uncle wasn't harmed, for which Zuko is thankful.

Weeks later, Zuko is lying in his bed, still resting after his near brush with death. He munches on fire flakes while reading all the mail he missed during his trip. There's a whole stack of letters from Katara that came in while he was recovering, which he still hasn't replied to.

Zuko doesn't want to tell her that he almost died again, so he's putting off writing to her.

He opens a letter from Sokka.

_Hey Zuko,_

_Guess what?! We—that is, Suki and I—got engaged a few weeks ago!_

Zuko grins. Finally.

_Anyway, we were thinking that since we're both important leaders to our respective peoples—not that we overvalue our own importance or anything—but we were thinking that we should host the wedding somewhere neutral to both our cultures. _

He hums. Wise move.

_We figured, given the current state of the world, friends of the Avatar hosting a big wedding might become an unintentionally political event if we don't choose the location carefully._

The Fire Lord nods to himself. Also true. Sokka has become rather skilled at politics these days.

_So we decided we're going to host the wedding at Ember Island!_

Zuko nearly chokes on his fireflakes.

Ember Island? Seriously?

_We'll be at the capital by next week to begin preparations, if you don't mind._

_\- Your bro, Sokka_

The Fire Lord sighs in exasperation.

Sokka and Suki will be in the Fire Nation. By next week. Which means Katara will probably be with them.

Zuko is doomed.

. . .

A knock on his office door. Zuko sighs. "Yes?"

"My lord, the Southern Water Tribe ship has arrived," says the guard captain.

His friends are here.

"Escort them into the city," says Zuko, "but do _not_, under any circumstances, allow them into the palace." He pauses. "And ask someone to bring me a pot of tea. Jasmine, please. I'll be at the pond."

Zuko finishes up the paperwork he's looking at, then gets up and limps through the palace halls using his crutches. He finally sits down on a bench by the turtleduck pond. Soon a waiter arrives with the tea set and places it beside him. "Your tea, my Lord."

"Thank you. You may leave."

Zuko pours himself a cup of tea and takes a sip. He exhales slowly, breathing out steam, and he wonders when he started keeping secrets from his friends. The Fire Lord looks down at himself, at the bandages over his arms and his chest, the agonizing pain in his right leg. He _can't_ let them see him like this.

They don't know how close he came to death, and it's best if it stays that way.

Maybe some secrets are for the best.

Pounding footsteps echo nearby. Zuko raises his head, ready to reprimand whichever servant is making so much noise.

"ZUKO!"

His thoughts come to a standstill.

Katara looks older, more mature. She's grown into her curves but she still looks strong as ever. Her hair is now wild and untamed, cascading around her face. Other than that, she's exactly the same. Beautiful, graceful, proud. And at this moment, also furious.

Zuko has forgotten how to breathe.

"WHAT THE HELL, ZUKO!?" shouts Katara as she approaches the pond. The water rises with her fuming presence. "Your guards aren't letting us in! And Iroh says you nearly died! Did you forget that I could heal you? Never mind that, I thought we were friends! And you didn't even _tell_ me? Not even a letter? Not even just a _Dear Katara, I almost got killed?_"

Katara suddenly comes to a stop. Her eyes widen as she takes in each detail—his badly sprained ankle, the multitude of bandages, the scabbed cuts all over his arms and face.

"Tui and La," she breathes.

Zuko smiles despite his pain. "Hi, Katara."

"You are such an _idiot_, Zuko!"

He laughs weakly. "It's just a scratch."

"Shut up and let me heal you!" She rushes to sit down beside him and draws water from her flask with one hand, unwrapping his bandages with the other. "You shouldn't even be out here! If you die from an infection I will never forgive you or your stupid Fire Nation healers!"

Before she can start healing, he touches her face with one hand.

"I'm fine, Katara," he says. "I've been in the hospital for over a week. Believe me, I feel a lot better than I look." She glares at him in disbelief. Zuko rolls his eyes. "Seriously, you're overreacting! You can heal me later." He brushes a lock of her hair behind her ear, his fingers trailing her jaw. "For now, just talk to me! It's been so long!"

Katara blushes. "Okay. Sorry."

She settles on the bench next to him. He smiles and gestures to the pot. "Tea?"

"I'll get it myself," she says, stopping his hands before they move.

When their fingers brush, Zuko suddenly remembers everything about her that he's lived without for a year.

Her touch is cool and gentle, her smile soft, her eyes bright with kindness.

_I missed you,_ he wants to say, but he isn't ready to say it yet. He wants to hug her, but that wouldn't be a good idea given his current condition. She pours herself a cup of tea and they both sit quietly for a minute, listening to the turtleducks. A familiar peace fills his heart.

"How'd you get into the palace?" he finally asks.

Katara blinks as if snapping out of a trance. Her gaze is fixed on his face. "Me?" she replies breathlessly. "I, uh . . . may have climbed in through a window."

Zuko snorts. "Katara, ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe, master waterbender, snuck in through a _window_?"

"Hey, I wouldn't have had to use the window if your guards had just let us in!" she snaps defensively. "Besides, you're the one who taught me how to sneak around like that back when we tracked Yon Rha! I just put those skills to use."

Zuko raises a finger in an impression of Iroh. "Well done, my pupil. I am so proud of you."

Katara giggles into her tea. "Thanks. Sokka and Suki will find a way in soon, probably. And when they find you, they'll be angry."

"Fair enough." Zuko sighs. "I just didn't want them to see me like this. It's hardly a good omen before planning a wedding if your host almost got assassinated."

She jabs a finger at his nose. "Speaking of almost dying, don't _ever_ do it again!"

Zuko can't help but laugh, despite the sting of his wounds.

"I'm serious, Zuko!"

Her eyes are bright and brilliant blue, focused on him. For a moment he feels braver. "I'll try my best not to die, but I make no promises." He leans forward and takes her free hand. "I'm happy you're here, Katara. I missed your constant nagging. I missed _you_."

Katara smiles warmly, interlacing their fingers. "I missed you too." She pauses. "Are we . . . everything that happened last summer . . . are we good?"

"Of course," Zuko replies.

She nods in relief. "Okay."

"I'm sorry I said those things," he adds.

"I know," she whispers. "I'm sorry too."

Zuko shakes his head. "It wasn't your fault. You were right. There was another way."

Katara's eyes suddenly light up. "Your mother! You found her?"

He nods slowly.

"That's great! Where is she?"

Zuko sighs. "Far from the capital, far from me, where she's safe."

"Oh." Katara's face falls. Her grip on his hand tightens. "I'm sorry, Zuko."

He shrugs. "It's better this way." The smile returns to his face. "She's _alive_. That's enough for me."

Katara's smile mirrors his own. "I'm glad you found her."

She looks away for a moment, then back at him. Her smile widens.

"What?" he asks.

"It's so different," explains Katara. "Being here. With you. It's so different from just reading your letters."

Zuko smiles. "You're right. This is better. More awkward, but much better."

"You know what would be even better?" she counters. "If I could _hug_ you!" Katara glares at his bandages in annoyance. "The moment your injuries have healed, I'm going to hug you like a koala-bear and I won't let go until I've broken all your ribs. You have been warned."

Zuko laughs. "That's the cutest death threat I've ever received."

Katara smiles and sets her empty cup down with Zuko's at the edge of the bench.

The comfortable silence returns.

It's been a year. An entire year since he's spoken to Katara. They both have so much to talk about, yet they've said so little thus far. A part of him wants to never stop talking to her, but instinctively he knows they don't need to say much. They always did understand each other without words.

Their fingers are still intertwined. Katara nudges him with her shoulder and Zuko looks up at her face. She's caught him staring at their hands. Her smile is teasing.

"I don't want to let go," he admits quietly.

"I know," she whispers. "Neither do I."

The words seem to make Zuko's inner fire burn brighter. He can't explain it, but the emotion feels soft like her smile, warm like sunshine.

"HEY! LORD JERKBENDER!"

Zuko sighs.

"Mind explaining why you locked us out of the palace!?" shouts Sokka from down the hallway.

Katara rolls her eyes at her brother's dramatic entrance and jumps to her feet, helping Zuko up.

This wasn't the reunion he was expecting. To be honest, he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but this . . . it's perfect. Perfect, like the blue of her eyes. Perfect, like a hole in his heart has suddenly been filled. Perfect, like the dark and lonely midnight of his life has passed, and these are the hours just before dawn.

He looks at Katara. She's smiling gently while supporting his weight with her arm.

In that moment, Zuko finally understands. Katara keeps him going, gives him hope even when she's not there, helps him stand when he feels like falling.

Katara is his dawn.

He hopes that one day he'll be able to tell her.

. . .


	20. Day 2: Counterpart

_AN: Zutara week, day 2! This chapter was a lot of fun to write._

* * *

**Counterpart**

_Oh, don't you dare look back_  
_Just keep your eyes on me_  
_I said, "You're holding back,"_  
_She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"_

_\- Walk the Moon_

* * *

Sokka's and Suki's wedding is perfect.

After months of planning and frequent visits to the Fire Nation, after picking out clothes and food and entertainment, after hiring decorators and caterers and musicians and bodyguards, after sending out invitations to every corner of the world—Katara could not be happier with the result. The multicultural marriage ceremony went smoothly, the dinner was fantastic, and now everyone is laughing and talking and dancing.

Katara doesn't know exactly what it is, but something is in the air.

Maybe it's the _heat_.

The warmth of Ember Island is all-encompassing. It's the night of the summer solstice, the height of summer. The heat makes her blood sing with a feeling she can't place, makes her mind feel excited yet lethargic, makes her body feel heavy and light and the same time.

Katara can't deny that she's more than a little tipsy. Fire Nation cherry wine is amazing, and quite strong.

She swirls through the crowd like a river current, greeting familiar faces with smiles and short conversations, never stopping once, taking it all in. The newly wed couple is dancing together in the center of the hall. Katara snickers as she glances at them. Dancing is a generous term.

Sokka and Suki are literally just standing and holding each other close while other couples dance around them. The two aren't even moving with the music.

The _music_.

Maybe it's the music that's making Katara feel like this. The low smooth notes of the tsungi horn, the rhythmic drums, the rich echoes of strings, everything seamlessly blends into harmony. It makes her feet feel wild and restless, makes her soul feel free.

She twirls on the spot and bows happily to some Northern Water Tribe diplomats, then turns around and narrowly misses walking into a mountain.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Uncle! I didn't see you there!"

Iroh smiles good-naturedly, holding her hand to steady her. "My dear Lady Katara! You look beautiful as always tonight! I actually came to ask a favor. See, my nephew is hiding by the bar! I am of the opinion that he needs to get a life. I humbly request that you help him find one."

Katara bursts into giggles. "What should I do?"

Iroh raises an eyebrow and smirks. "I leave the details to you, Lady Katara. Thank you!"

And just like that Iroh somehow disappears into the crowd. Katara blinks for a moment, disconcerted at how such a large man could just disappear. How many glasses of wine did she have, again? Katara has lost count.

Nah, it can't be the wine. She's only slightly tipsy.

Katara shrugs and slips through the crowd, spinning lazily, looking for a familiar face. As she approaches a congregation of people near the bar, she spots her grandmother. "Gran Gran! What are you doing over here?!"

"You know how many years it's been since I've had such good cherry wine?" remarks Kanna.

Katara shakes her head in exasperation. "Don't drink too much! Tui and La, it was bad enough last time at your own wedding!"

"Trust me, my dear, I am not drunk. I'm quite sober, and I know _exactly_ what I'm doing." Gran Gran pats her on the shoulder as she walks by.

Katara suddenly gets turned around and shoved forward.

"Gran—_oof!_"

She collides with something solid.

Katara wobbles and nearly topples backward, but an arm has caught her around the waist. Her hands reach out to steady herself against something. Muscle. That's definitely muscle she's feeling. She blinks a few times and suddenly sees silk. Bright red Fire Nation silk, stained with the darker red of wine.

All at once she realizes who it is. She looks up.

"Hi," she says breathlessly.

"Umm, hi." Zuko's golden eyes are startled, but still clear and focused. He has definitely had less wine than her.

His arm around her waist loosens, and for some reason Katara is sad.

"Sorry about the shirt," she says sheepishly. "Here." She waves a hand and bends the wine out of his clothes, back into his glass.

Zuko smiles. "Thanks."

For a moment she stares at him. She's unable to find words. His expression is regal, but his gaze is warm. His messy bangs have fallen out of his fancy topknot. He looks so good in those layers of red silk, but his posture is shy and his voice seems almost nervous. He looks like a king and an ordinary young man all at once. How could someone so perfect be hiding at the edges of the crowd?

The feeling in her soul seems to sing with anticipation. Whatever _this_ is, she needs this. She's been hoping for this.

He walks over to a waiter carrying empty glasses. Katara meanders after him.

"Zuuuuko," she calls, poking his shoulder with a finger. "Zuko!"

He adds his glass to the waiter's platter, then turns back to her with amusement and wariness.

"Yes, Katara?"

She takes a deep breath. He gazes at her expectantly.

"Will you dance with me?"

Zuko freezes like he's been cornered by a rabid moose-lion. "_What?_"

Katara grins. "Great!"

"Wait, _what?_"

She snatches his arm and pulls him after her, toward the part of the crowd filled with dancers. Katara ignores the alarm in his eyes and finds them a good spot, then twirls around and takes both his hands. Her blood is racing, her feet being tugged by the rhythm, her soul brimming with excitement.

"You ready?" she asks.

Zuko exhales nervously. "I doubt we know any of the same dances, Katara."

Katara laughs. "It doesn't matter!" She sways along with the rhythm and pulls his hands with her. He gulps, his eyes focused on her, his arms stiff. "Loosen up, Zuko! Stop being so boring, and just feel the music in your bones!"

He sighs. "Katara, I only know formal Fire Nation dances."

Katara frowns, then smirks wickedly.

"You know what I think, Zuko?" Katara leans her head in close to his, close enough that their noses are almost touching. If she leaned in a little more . . . she ignores that thought for now. "I think you're _scared_."

Something seems to catch fire in his golden eyes.

"Was that a challenge, _peasant_?"

Katara grins. "You bet it was, ya royal scaredycat."

Zuko's eyes narrow. "You don't know what you've started, Katara," he rasps. Katara almost shivers when he says her name. She's close enough to feel his warmth, close enough to smell the wine in his breath.

She tilts her head arrogantly. "Bring it on."

Zuko takes one of her hands and holds it out. Her other hand instinctively settles on his shoulder, while his falls to her side. The distance between them is too close for comfort, but Katara doesn't mind at all. No, this is a kind of uncomfortable she thinks she could get used to.

Destiny seems to be watching them, because just moments later, the music changes to something fast-paced and wild.

Zuko takes a step. Katara steps with him.

All at once they start moving, and Katara is breathless with exhilaration. She spins and pulls and flows like water, and he leads with purpose and short steps and fiery speed. The music grows wilder and begins to crescendo.

Katara doesn't even have time to think. She just _moves_.

Suddenly the ballroom is gone, and they're back in the Spirit Oasis once again, trading blows and finding themselves facing each other as worthy adversaries.

But it's more than that.

They're under Ba Sing Se once again, intimately close, sharing secrets. The distance between their bodies is small, the distance between their souls even smaller.

On the hunt for the Southern Raiders, they're working together with little need for words or gestures or silly formalities. They have one purpose, one goal, a silent understanding.

By the turtleduck pond under a full moon, they're alone, apart from the world. Content in each other's company, taking comfort in just being together.

Katara has been waiting patiently for years now, clinging to daydreams and occasional letters as if they were priceless treasures. Hoping, wishing, praying for _something_. And then Katara saw him again, at the turtleduck pond a few months ago, and she finally understood. The _something_ was him. In all the months they spent until today, preparing for Sokka and Suki's wedding, Katara enjoyed spending time with Zuko, just being with him.

Every moment with him feels like sunshine, and Katara can't deny the truth. Zuko is her counterpart, her equal and opposite, her missing piece. He completes her, and she hopes that she does the same for him.

The music reaches its peak and he twirls her around.

They move in harmony. Katara spins and laughs breathlessly, then pulls him forward and falls into his arms.

All the rhythm and melody fades away.

Katara is lost. She's drowning in his golden eyes, melting into his lean and sculpted chest, feeling his breath on her skin. She's danced before, but not like this. Never before has she felt so much passion. They're both breathing heavily, their bodies tired and slick with sweat, yet Katara feels so _alive_.

She stares into his eyes, and he stares back.

"Hi, Katara," he whispers with a grin.

Katara giggles. "Hi, Zuko."

For a moment there is nothing but silence. Then a roar erupts around them and Katara is startled out of the daze she was in. She pulls back from him a little and looks around. Zuko seems just as confused as her. Her eyes widen. While they were dancing, many people had moved away to clear space for them. Now the other dancers are watching and cheering for them.

Zuko smirks down at her. "Seems like they enjoyed what they saw," he murmurs. "Want to give them something even better?"

Katara raises an eyebrow playfully. "Are you asking me to dance again, Zuko?"

The music has begun once more, but this time it's something not quite as fast, something more soulful. He shrugs. "I mean, I'm not tired at all. But if you're too tired, _peasant_, we can take a break. I'm more than willing to hide by the bar again. What do you say?"

Katara rolls her eyes and tugs on his hands, pulling him closer. "Just shut up and dance, Fire Lord." He laughs and doesn't reply with words.

As they start dancing again, Katara's soul soars, and her mind settles on one undeniable fact.

She is hopelessly in love with Zuko.

Perhaps that's why she doesn't see the assassin drop from the roof behind her, the knife lunging for Zuko's ribs. But they're dancing and moving fast, and it's not Zuko that the knife hits. No, Katara doesn't notice they're under attack until a searing pain explodes in her side.

. . .


	21. Day 3: Fuse

_AN: Zutara week, day 3! I'm glad you all liked the twist ending last chapter! Here's the rest._

* * *

**Fuse**

_I knew I loved you then, b__ut you'd never know_  
_Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go_

_\- James Arthur_

* * *

It all happens so horribly fast.

The worst part is that he sees it coming. Zuko sees the masked assassin dropping down from the beams of the roof. He sees the killing intent, sees the knife lunging forward at him. But he and Katara are dancing, spinning too fast, and it all happens too fast . . .

And then Zuko fends off the attacker with one arm while holding Katara's weight in the other.

He sweeps his free hand in a diagonal arc, throwing a defensive wave of fire outward, a waterbending technique he picked up from Katara long ago. The masked figure leaps back and Zuko launches a few fire blasts from his fist, but the assassin is too agile and Zuko's range is limited with Katara in his other arm. Soon the hall explodes into a flurry of bending as the guards and the other guests at the wedding work together to chase down and restrain the figure. Zuko leaves the fighting to them, while he focuses on his first priority.

He gently brings Katara down, resting her on the floor.

She's breathing heavily. The knife is still buried in her side. She's not losing too much blood because the blade is still in the wound, but he can tell she's in shock. Some of the wedding guests have gathered around him. They obviously don't know what to do or are too stunned to do anything.

Zuko has to act.

He pats her face to get her attention. "Katara!"

"Wh—what?"

"Katara! The knife!"

She looks down at herself and gulps. "Pull . . . the blade out."

Zuko frowns. "You sure?"

"Do it!"

He reaches for the handle. Katara clenches her jaw and Zuko prays to Agni that this will all work out. He pulls the knife out in one smooth motion. She nearly cries in agony. Blood starts spilling from the open wound, soaking the blue fabric of her dress, turning it black.

Katara summons water from the air with a shaky hand and covers the wound, but the blue glow is weak.

He shakes his head. "You're losing too much blood!"

"I . . . I need—" She pauses. "Cauterize it."

"_What?_"

"I can't . . . heal it quickly, it's too deep . . . I need _fire_. Stop the bleeding."

Zuko gulps anxiously, but he nods. Cauterization is a common technique in the Fire Nation. Zuko has seen it done, but he's no healer. If he messes this up . . . Katara's life is on the line. If it works, it should stop the bleeding. He reins in his emotions, drops the bloody knife, and summons a tiny jet of flame from his fingers. He then draws his own clean dagger and holds it in the fire until it's red-hot.

"Are you scared for me?" Katara teases weakly.

He shakes his head. "Terrified."

"Yeah, me too," she says. "Let's do this."

Katara raises her hand with the ball of water, taking deep breaths. Zuko tilts his head, questioning. She grits her teeth and nods.

This time she can't hold back a brief scream.

Zuko tries to work quickly, using the hot metal to burn only the clean line of the wound. The flesh chars, the blood coagulates, and immediately Katara pushes the glowing water over it. A quiet sizzle of steam. Zuko watches the edges of the wound fuse together, and the bleeding finally stops.

He sighs in relief. Katara closes her eyes, breathing raggedly.

"I . . . think I'm gonna . . ."

Her voice fades away.

"Katara?" He touches her face in alarm. "_Katara!_"

Soon enough some Water Tribesmen and Fire Nation guards arrive, along with most of his friends. Everyone is talking and shouting and moving frantically. Zuko can't hear any of it, because Katara is lying unconscious in front of him and nothing else matters.

An old waterbender, a healer if he remembers correctly, pats his shoulder. "Don't worry, Lord Zuko. We will take things from here."

The guards help Hakoda and the Water Tribesmen carry Katara from the floor, taking her across the hall to a separate room nearby. Zuko moves to follow, then suddenly thinks of the assassin's knife. He picks it up, ignoring the blood—Katara's blood—and brings it up to his nose.

A faint sour smell drifts from the blade. His eyes widen.

Sokka and Hakoda have gone with the guards, but Suki is next to him. "What's wrong?" she asks.

"The knife," says Zuko. "It wasn't clean."

Zuko suddenly remembers who else was invited to the wedding. He jumps to his feet and searches through the crowd. He doesn't have to go far. Ursa is already on her way towards him. Zuko runs over to her and wordlessly hands her the blade.

Ursa takes a whiff of the knife and grimaces. "Poison."

He nods. "Mom, can you . . ."

"I'll see what I can do." Ursa rushes over to the nearby room where Katara has been taken.

Zuko moves to follow but Suki takes his arm and turns him around. Suki points to Aang, Toph, and some guards on the other end of the hall. "Zuko, the assassin."

The Fire Lord's expression turns hard as steel. He'd almost forgotten about the assassin. His fists light up and become completely ablaze, like two fiery comets brought down to earth. He strides over to where Aang is standing, in front of a young woman trapped in stone shackles.

"Zuko." Aang grabs his shoulder. "No."

"Let go of me, Aang," he growls.

"No."

"LET GO OF ME!"

Zuko flares up like a living wildfire, and Aang almost takes a step back, but Zuko sees a hardness in Aang's eyes that wasn't there years ago, during the war.

"I can't let you hurt her," says the Avatar. "She's just a girl. I saw what happened, Zuko, I saw her try to kill you, I saw her hurt Katara, and I'm worried for Katara too. But you can't retaliate. You can't just hurt someone you don't like in cold blood. It's _wrong_, Fire Lord, and I won't allow it."

"I wasn't asking your permission." Zuko's deadly gaze lands on the assassin's face.

The girl is sobbing.

He pauses, and all the fire in him dims.

Zuko brushes off Aang's hand, and this time the Avatar lets go. The Fire Lord walks up to the assassin, leaning down to meet her eyes. "You tried to kill me," he says. "You hurt my best friend instead. Give me a reason to let you live."

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean for anyone else to get hurt!" She bites her lip nervously, still crying. "I just wanted to save my city!"

Zuko frowns. "What?"

"You _ruined_ my life!" she shouts. "You and your _Harmony_ Restoration Movement! It would have ended this month! The One Year Pact would have ended, and then my people would be torn apart!" Her voice falls back to a quiet, defeated whisper. "I just wanted to save my city."

"Yu Dao?" Zuko guesses. "You're from Yu Dao?"

The assassin sniffles and nods.

"What's your name?"

She stares at him. "Kori," she finally answers. "Kori Morishita."

The name takes a moment to register, but when it does, Zuko's eyes widen. The mayor of Yu Dao, Morishita, is a good man. This is probably his daughter. A range of emotions overtakes Zuko. He holds them all back. In this moment, he is the Fire Lord, and he cannot be ruled by emotion.

He rises to his feet and sighs in exhaustion. "Holy Agni, I _hate_ my job."

Aang pats his shoulder comfortingly.

"Zuko?" He turns to find a rough hand grasping his own. It's Toph, who hasn't said a word until now. Her voice is unnaturally fragile. "Will Katara . . . will she be okay?"

His silence is an answer in and of itself.

Toph's blind eyes fill with tears.

Zuko sighs and pulls Toph into a hug. "I don't know," he admits, because he's always honest with his family. "But she's strong, you know that, Toph. I think she'll be okay. She has to be."

. . .

Everyone stays up all night waiting, and then they wait through all of the next day too.

Katara has been moved to one of the guest rooms at the Fire Lord's beach house, under the constant care of Ursa and the Northern waterbender named Yugoda, but after a whole day, there's still no sign of her waking. Her skin is ashy and pale and cold as ice. The poison is slow-acting, constricting her blood vessels over time. Zuko is terrified for her, but his face is hard as granite. He can't allow himself to be scared. Everyone is scared, even Toph, so Zuko has to put on a brave face for all their sakes.

Sokka and Suki are leaning on each other, with Hakoda and Gran Gran right beside them. Aang stands nearby, holding his staff grimly, as still as a statue. Iroh stands behind Zuko and Toph is right beside him. Her grip on Zuko's hand is solid as iron. Toph's head is tilted, and Zuko knows she's listening to Katara's heartbeat.

"Too slow," whispers Toph, her voice breaking. "It's too _slow_."

Katara can't die. Not like this.

If she dies today, Zuko will never forgive the world for being so cruel.

He thinks back to all the impossible things she's done over the years. Katara is too stubborn, too strong, too _good_ to be killed by a knife in the back. But Zuko is practical by nature, even in his worst moments. He saw how long that knife was, how deep the wound went, how much blood she lost. He smelled the poison on the blade. If she survives, it'll be a miracle.

With every hour that passes, Zuko's heart aches even more.

But then the antidote Ursa concocted seems to be doing its work, and Katara's skin slowly regains its beautiful dark tone. The worst is over. Still, she does not wake. Ursa uses her motherly tone and urges all of them to get some sleep. One by one, everyone in the room gives into exhaustion. Even Sokka and Toph leave after Ursa's incessant reassurances that Katara will be fine.

They all turn away, until it's just Zuko, Ursa, and Yugoda left.

Ursa frowns at him. "You should go, dear."

"No."

"You need sleep," says his mother. "Don't worry, we'll let you know the moment she wakes up."

Zuko shakes his head. "I made her a promise, Mom, years ago. I told her I wouldn't leave her alone. So I won't."

Ursa hums and nods in understanding, allowing Zuko to keep sitting outside the doorway.

. . .

It's around midnight when he hears the sound. A ragged breath, different from the shallow breaths he has been hearing for hours. He jumps to his feet and walks inside to find her awake, both eyes fluttering open. He takes her hand and holds it tight. "Katara!"

Her gaze seems to go in and out of focus, but it finally settles on him. She smiles tiredly. "Hey, Zuko."

Zuko leans over to the chair where his mother is sleeping and shakes her awake. Once Ursa comes to her senses, she looks Katara over and calls for Yugoda, who is sleeping in the room across the hall.

Yugoda walks in, pushes Zuko out of the room, and closes the door.

He waits patiently for a while until the door opens again. Yugoda smiles as she lets him in. "I've looked her over," says the old healer. "Katara will be just fine." She nods to Ursa. "Thank the spirits we had an expert on poisons in the room."

Ursa shakes her head humbly. "My antidote would be little help without your healing abilities, Lady Yugoda."

Katara blinks. "Wait, what?"

"The knife was poisoned," says Zuko, rubbing his eyes in weariness. "You've been out for a little more than a day. Yugoda and my mother have been taking care of you. At first we weren't sure if . . . if you'd make it."

"Tui and La," whispers Katara. She bows her head gratefully to Ursa and Yugoda. "Thank you for saving my life."

"Don't just thank us." Yugoda glances at Zuko. "He did the most important part."

Zuko's eyes widen. "Me? I didn't really do much."

Yugoda laughs. "Are you kidding? You saved her, Lord Zuko." She turns to Katara. "Your idea was brilliant, by the way. A fusion of Water Tribe and Fire Nation healing techniques. If he hadn't cauterized the wound, you would have lost so much more blood. You might have died. If you hadn't healed the burn, it could have become infected. But both techniques together . . . the spirits were kind to you, Katara. All you need now is a few days rest."

"You're a very lucky turtleduck, Katara," Ursa sums up.

Katara laughs softly, then winces and touches her side.

"I stopped the internal bleeding," says Yugoda, "but you'll still feel the pain for a while."

She sinks back into the bed. "Yeah . . . definitely feeling the pain."

Yugoda walks to the door. "I'll be in the bedroom next door if you need me." Katara nods.

Ursa smiles. "I'm glad you're alright, Katara." Ursa waves good night, then gives Zuko a pointed look as she walks out the door. Zuko rolls his eyes at her.

After she leaves, Katara chuckles. "Nonverbal mother-son conversation?"

Zuko huffs in annoyance. "She's just teasing me. She thinks I should go to bed. You know, because it's late and I've never left your side and we're alone now . . ."

"Oh." Katara blushes. "I see." She pauses for a second. "Wait. You've been with me the _whole_ time? Without sleeping?"

He nods. "Pretty much."

"_Why?_" she asks incredulously.

"You took a knife that was meant to be for me," says Zuko. "The least I could do was wait by your side while you recovered."

"You've been awake since last night? But weren't you awake for most of the night before the wedding too? Finishing up preparations?"

Zuko nods again. "And the night before that. What's your point?"

She whacks the back of his head with her hand. "Are you _trying_ to die from exhaustion!? Go to sleep, Zuko! No wonder you look terrible!"

He sighs. "Okay, okay. So maybe I'm a little tired. I'll go. But be careful! If you're feeling sick or unnaturally cold or nauseous, make sure to tell my mom." She nods and he continues. "And if you feel bad at all, Yugoda's next door. And if you need anything else, let me know."

Katara rolls her eyes. "Yes, dear," she says sarcastically. "Seriously, I'm fine!"

They both freeze for a moment as her words register.

In the dim candlelight, Zuko can't tell who's blushing more. He rubs the back of his head awkwardly and walks toward the door.

"Well, I'll be going then . . ."

Right as he reaches the doorway his sleep-deprived brain comes to a realization. He stops in his tracks and reruns his mental count. Zuko groans.

Katara gazes at him in concern. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he replies. When her gaze turns into an irritated glare, Zuko sighs. "The bedrooms. They're all taken. Aang is sleeping outside on Appa, and Toph made herself an earth tent, and we still don't have enough beds. Most of the wedding guests are staying in hotels, but we had so many friends who wanted to stay the night here to make sure you were okay." Zuko yawns. "I'll just sleep on the floor in the hall."

Katara looks at him for a second, then snorts. "Not on my watch." She scoots over to make space on her bed. "Here."

Zuko blinks a few times until he suddenly understands.

"Are you _insane_?" he yelps. "I can't sleep here!"

Katara has turned pink and Zuko is sure his own face is burning red.

She pouts imploringly. "Stay? Please? For me?"

Zuko tries to think, but he's too exhausted. His rational mind spins sluggishly for a long moment before it decides to give up on him. "Fine. Whatever. But if anyone sees us in the morning, you get to do the explaining."

Katara laughs. "Deal."

Zuko walks over and collapses beside her on the bed, snuffing out the flame of the candle with a wave. He can feel her warmth beside him. He tries his best to ignore it, keeping his back to her.

A hand touches his shoulder. "Zuko?"

He hums in acknowledgment.

"Zuko, turn around."

He sighs and turns on his side to face her. They are so close, separated only by blankets, but Zuko is far too tired to care about the implications of what he's doing. Suddenly Katara leans in, her forehead touching his, both her hands brushing his face. For a moment it feels like his heart might thump out of his chest.

"Thank you," she whispers. "For always staying with me."

He growls, though there's no hostility in the sound. "Shut up and let me sleep, Katara."

She laughs softly.

Zuko is about to close his eyes when Katara leans in and brushes her lips against his.

His eyes widen. Katara just kissed him. It was fleeting and unremarkable and gone before he even felt it, but she _kissed_ him. He stares at her in disbelief, and she smiles back at him.

"Good night, Zuko."

After a long moment, he smiles too. Zuko gently puts an arm around her, then buries his head in his pillow and closes his eyes.

"Good night, Katara."

He's asleep within moments. For the first time in many years, he doesn't have nightmares at all.

. . .

Zuko wakes just before dawn to find a warmth curled into his side.

For a second he thinks he's dreaming, but this can't be a dream. She's real. Her eyes are closed, her breathing is shallow, her head is resting on his shoulder. Zuko runs his fingers through her silky hair. Definitely real. Her eyes flutter open.

"Hi, Katara," he whispers.

She gives him a sleepy smile. "Hi, Zuko."

They've come to a silent understanding again. Zuko doesn't know how to name this feeling, but now that he has it, he doesn't ever want to let it go.

He thinks it's love.

. . .


	22. Day 4: Celestial

_AN: Zutara week, day 4! My friends, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to write this chapter._

* * *

**Celestial**

_It's up to you, and it's up to me_  
_And no one can say what we get to be_  
_So why don't we rewrite the stars?_  
_Changing the world to be ours?_

_\- Zac Efron and Zendaya_

* * *

Katara sits on the beach, her legs outstretched just far enough that the rising tide tickles her toes.

The sky is dark and clear, filled with flickering stars and a full silver moon. The whole world is quiet in the hours before dawn.

She thinks on what Zuko told her long ago at the Western Air Temple. He was right. There's something special about this Ember Island beach. The darkness is warm and enveloping, the sea is beautifully calm, and the moon is brighter here than anywhere she's ever seen it. Katara thinks she would stay here forever if she could.

It's been a few days since the wedding. Most of the guests have left already, but the Gaang is staying at the beach house until Katara recovers completely.

Katara is feeling much better, and besides the scar on her side, she can hardly feel the wound anymore.

No, it isn't her near-death experience that's been troubling her. It's what happened after.

She looks up at the constellations and wonders who decided them, who decided that some lines were meant to be drawn while other lines were not. The stars never got the chance to choose, did they? The lines connecting them were drawn by others, by different cultures and societies.

But she thinks as much as people try to fit shapes to the stars, there is a chaos to the night sky that cannot be tamed by anyone.

"Katara."

The voice startles her. She turns. It's always impossible to hear him coming. She thinks he doesn't even realize it sometimes, but he's quiet as a ghost.

Katara sighs. "Hey."

Zuko walks over and sits down in the sand next to her, their shoulders brushing.

She glances at him and quickly looks away. He's bare-chested. He must have woken in the middle of the night, like her. They've slept separately ever since _that_ night. In fact, they haven't even spoken about _that_ night, about the undeniable pull like gravity that they both feel.

Katara is seventeen, hopelessly in love, and she has no idea what to do about it. She's been thinking, though. She can't stop thinking about him.

"Sokka and Suki are planning to leave for Kyoshi for their honeymoon," says Zuko.

She raises an eyebrow. "Where'd you hear that?"

"They were talking about it tonight," he replies. "I overheard them while I was sneaking out of my bedroom window and onto the roof."

Katara laughs. "What? Spirits, Zuko, why were you on the roof?"

"Taller vantage point," Zuko explains. "Easier to spot where you were."

She blushes. "You knew I was out here?"

He rolls his eyes. "I heard you sneaking through the halls, down the stairs, and out the front door, Katara. Nice attempt, but you really need to make your steps lighter. I could hear the floorboards creak from three rooms away when you got up."

"Seriously?" Katara laughs. "Zuko, sometimes your abilities are just plain spooky."

"I just pay attention to my surroundings," he replies.

"Why'd you come after me?"

He shrugs. "I . . . I just wanted to talk to you. Why are you out here anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep," she admits. "It's been a problem lately."

"Yeah, me neither," says Zuko. He half-smirks. "They say misery loves company, huh?"

Katara smiles. They share a moment of silence, gazing at the stars together. She finally breaks the silence. "Did you catch when Sokka and Suki plan to leave?"

"In a few days," he sighs.

She hums in acknowledgment.

"Katara?"

"Yeah?"

He hesitates. "How long are you staying? In the Fire Nation?"

Katara doesn't know how to reply. She knows what her answer is, of course, but she also knows the question is more than it seems. They're dancing around each other, avoiding the real conversation, and they both know it. Katara is fine with it. She wouldn't know how to start _that_ conversation even if she wanted to.

"I just . . . some company would be nice," he continues. "I know the wedding over and you have responsibilities at the South Pole and Ba Sing Se and—"

"Zuko," she interrupts gently, placing one hand over his on the sand. "I'll stay as long as you need me here. I've missed the Fire Nation, and I'm sure I can find something important to do here." Her smile turns teasing. "Someone needs to watch your back, after all, since so many people want you dead and you obviously can't take care of yourself. I wouldn't trust the job to anyone else."

He takes a relieved breath. "Thank you."

Katara smiles softly in reply.

Zuko's hand lets go of hers and slips around her waist, hugging her to his side. She snatches his other hand in revenge, and suddenly they're very close.

They gaze at each other.

Katara thinks he looks very different at night. Zuko's body is relaxed and one with the darkness, his breath in harmony with the tide. His eyes are no longer burning gold like a sunrise. No, this is something softer and cooler—a pure celestial glow, like the moon.

Like stars brought down to earth.

Katara leans closer, and Zuko does the same. Both of them are holding their breath. It feels like the entire world has gone still.

She questions with her eyes, whether he feels the same way as her, whether he wants _this_, whether he's going to cover the distance. She kissed him the first time, but this time she wants him to decide. His eyes offer no answer at all, only that soft glow that makes her soul shiver and her heart skip beats.

All at once she understands. That look _is_ his answer.

He covers the distance.

At first it's just a brush of lips. Katara tilts her head and half-closes her eyes, and then she pushes a little further, and he responds with equal and opposite pressure. She leans in, her hands wrapping around his neck, feeling the bare skin of his shoulders. One of his hands tangles in her hair and the other settles on the small of her back. They fall onto the sand with her on top of him, their kiss unbroken, mouths searching, hands wandering. Her mind is blank. All she feels is herself and him.

They're kissing in the dark and the stars are shining down on them and she's sure that she _loves_ this boy.

Katara thinks she might be in heaven.

But when they finally pull away from that kiss, Katara takes deep breaths, propping herself up on his chest with her arms. She looks at the stars, and then she looks to the side, unable to meet his gaze.

"Katara?" he whispers. "What's wrong?"

Katara shakes her head and moves backward, off of him, pulling her knees to her chest and curling up on the sand. Zuko sits up and touches her shoulder, then gently puts his arm around her.

She sighs and leans into him.

"Katara," he murmurs. "Would you . . . would you be annoyed if I said I love you?"

She laughs weakly. "You know I love you too, Zuko."

They sit together in silence for a long moment. His eyes are bright and warm as always, and Katara can't look away.

"But it's not just about us," she finally says.

Zuko's eyes darken, and she knows he understands what she meant.

"You're the _Fire Lord_, Zuko!" Katara sighs. "Everything you do has political consequences, especially in this. You should be with someone noble, a respectable Fire Nation girl! I'm just a . . . a Water Tribe peasant, you know? Your people might never accept me. Our cultures are complete opposites, our elements are opposites. Our families live far from each other, and we both have responsibilities. I . . ." Her voice breaks. "I really, _really_ want this, Zuko, but I just don't know . . ."

He nods thoughtfully.

Katara gazes at the night sky. "Everything written in our stars is against us."

Zuko looks up as well, then meets her eyes and gives a soft laugh.

"What?" she says defensively.

"You know what I think?" he teases. "I think you're _scared_."

Katara's jaw drops. The words she spoke on the night of the wedding echo back in her ears. He just used her own line against her. The nerve of this boy. But even if it's just a silly taunt, his words are the truth. She frowns.

"You're right," she admits. "I am scared."

They're both silent for a while.

Finally, Zuko's arm tightens around her and he leans his head against hers. "It scares me too, but I think we can do this. We've done impossible things before." His other hand gestures to the heavens. "I don't see anything written in those stars, Katara. I see an open sky."

She gazes up and sees it too.

"I see a blank canvas," continues Zuko, "and I'd love to write something there with you."

Katara absorbs the words for a moment.

She wants this, more than she's ever wanted anything. She thinks he's right. Together, they've done impossible things before. They've gone from enemies to best friends to whatever _this_ is together. They helped end the war together. They saved the world together. Maybe they can rewrite the stars together too.

Katara smirks and gives him a teasing glance. "Want to start now?"

She leans in and captures his lips with hers, and Zuko returns the passion, smiling into the kiss.

_This_, thinks Katara, really is heaven.

. . .


	23. Day 5: Hesitancy

_AN: Zutara week, day 5! Two more days and the week is__ done, folks! Also, t__his chapter is the reason for the T rating._

* * *

**Hesitancy**

_So I won't hesitate no more, no more_  
_It cannot wait, I'm yours!_

_\- Jason Mraz_

* * *

"You know what?" says the Fire Lord, pounding his fist on the table. "We're done for now. This is clearly going nowhere. Let's take a break for today and reconvene tomorrow." He rises abruptly from his chair.

Diplomats from around the world stare at him in shock.

"Don't walk away from this, Zuko!" snaps the Avatar.

Ambassador Katara shoots him a glare. "Give him some time to think, Aang."

"_Time?!_" shouts King Kuei. "We've given you time, Fire Lord! It's been_ four years_ since the end of the war! You've been avoiding this for far too long! This is my final warning. If we don't reach a decision by the end of this summit, I will take Yu Dao by military force!"

Fire Lord Zuko scoffs. He waves to some guards and servants. "Escort our esteemed guests to the dining hall for afternoon tea. I'll be with them shortly."

As he leaves, he glances at his advisors, who are glaring at Kuei like a pack of wolf-bats. Zuko then turns to Mayor Morishita, who meets the Fire Lord's gaze defiantly. Zuko shakes his head in exasperation.

It's the week of the summer solstice, and this year, the annual summit of nations is being hosted in the Fire Nation. All his friends are here, but Zuko is still not enjoying the event. Politics has never been his strong suit. He storms out of the summit meeting, through the busy halls of the Fire Palace. He can hear footsteps following him but he doesn't slow down.

He finally reaches the turtleduck pond.

Zuko looks around. No servants or diplomats in sight, so he collapses onto the grass, shedding his many layers of royal robes until he's just wearing his tunic. Zuko stretches his arms, finally able to relax in the summer heat.

He takes deep breaths to calm his mind.

Baby turtleducks quack and play in the water before him. Oh, what he'd give to be a turtleduckling, swimming free without responsibility or worry.

The footsteps grow louder, and he doesn't have to look to know who it is. She closes the gate to the garden, then walks up to him and settles down on the grass, taking his hand. Here, away from the eyes of the world, they're no longer Fire Lord and Ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe.

They're just Zuko and Katara.

"Part of me wants to punch both of them in the face," he sighs.

Katara laughs. "I don't think that would end well, Zuko."

He rolls his eyes. "No, really? I never would have guessed. You've saved me from a very unwise decision."

"That's what I'm here for," she teases.

They share a moment of silence.

"Kuei and Aang don't understand," Zuko finally says. "They're the same, really. Sheltered, trapped in hundred-year-old traditions and systems. They call this the Harmony Restoration Movement, but Aang and Kuei are looking for balance, for restoration to the way things were. That's not harmony. Balance is static. It doesn't change. Harmony, real harmony like the kind Yu Dao already has, that's not static. It's an acceptance of change. It's a letting go of traditions. It's _growth_."

Katara twirls a lock of her hair, just listening to him.

"But at the same time," he continues, "I understand both sides. As far back as we know in history, that land never belonged to the Fire Nation, and the nations have always been separate. The Fire Nation should not own Yu Dao. That land was Earth Kingdom territory."

Katara hums. "But that was long ago, and this is _now_," she finishes for him.

He nods silently.

"You know what I think?" she says. "I think you've already made up your mind about Yu Dao, and you're just too nervous to tell them what you plan to do."

His eyes widen.

Katara grins. "Am I right?"

"Yeah," replies Zuko. "You're right, I've already decided what I'm going to do. I guess I'm just a little hesitant to tell them. They won't like it at all." He pauses. "You know me too well."

Katara's grin widens. Her hand idly plays with his fingers.

"It's not just Kuei and Aang," says Zuko. "It's all of them. The whole world is watching me here. The summit ends tomorrow, and that's my last chance to fix this mess. How am I supposed to convince _everyone_ that it's time to move on from the past and live in the present?"

Katara shrugs, then leans in and pecks him on the lips. "Very dramatically, in classic Zuko fashion."

Zuko laughs and pulls her close, leaning his head on her shoulder.

She ruffles his hair affectionately. Her eyes are on the turtleducks for a long moment. "You realize this is about more than just Yu Dao? This problem, this hesitancy to accept change, to accept that traditions can be broken . . . it's always going to be there."

Zuko hums. "You're worried about something?"

She glances at him, then glances away.

"Kataaara," he drawls.

"Yes, I'm worried!" Katara sighs. "When are we going to tell them, Zuko? About _us__?_"

Zuko shakes his head tiredly. "That's what you're thinking about?"

"We've been together for two years now, Zuko. Everyone knows we're committed by now, so they deserve to know about . . ." She pauses, her hand reaching to touch the ribbon on her neck. "About _this_. As much as I want to keep this between us, we have to tell them."

"I'm working on it!" he snaps, his temper flaring. "I'm trying to think of a way to do this right. I just . . . I don't want to mess this up."

She exhales slowly. "I know. Me too."

The silence returns.

This is how it has always been between them. They're two halves of the same whole, and they run deeper than words can reach.

When it comes to important things, they rarely ever argue. Instead, they come to a natural agreement. That's how it's always been, ever since the war. They act with one mind, from things as silly as fighting the Melon Lord's soldiers, to things as serious as taking on Azula or hunting Yon Rha together.

Zuko is glad that hasn't changed over the years.

In the same way, they agreed that Katara would be a Water Tribe ambassador in the Fire Nation. They agreed that she would alternate spending winters in the South Pole and summers in the Fire Nation, and that Zuko would visit the South Pole every equinox. They agreed to practice bending together every day, to eat together whenever they could, to always tell each other how they feel. They never talked much about these decisions, they just _agreed_.

Zuko and Katara never needed many words or formalities.

And in _this_, too, they agreed. He never knelt and offered her a betrothal necklace in accordance with Water Tribe tradition. He never introduced his family to hers, as Fire Nation custom dictated he should.

He simply asked her if she wanted to marry him, and she said, _Of course, you idiot._

And that was enough.

Zuko sighs and gazes at the girl he loves. Agreeing on _this_ was enough for the two of them, but this isn't just about them. He knows life isn't that simple. Their people are watching, the world is watching, and they have to do this right.

Suddenly, Katara's eyes light up with mischief.

"I know exactly what we need right now!" Katara leaps to her feet, sinking gracefully into a waterbending stance. "We need to let off some steam. Let's spar!"

Zuko stands up and stares at her in disbelief. "You're serious_?_"

"Why not?" Water appears from thin air and swirls around her, and he's taken for a moment by her beauty. Her smile is teasing, her hair braided back, her body moving naturally in her element. Katara is breathtaking and dangerous at the same time.

He sighs. "This doesn't seem like the time or place—"

"What's wrong?" Katara grins wickedly. "_Pig-chicken?_"

Zuko growls, his eyes narrowing. "Don't go picking fights you can't win, Katara."

"What's that?" Katara puts a hand to her ear. "I thought I heard a pig-chicken squawking!" She sticks out her tongue mockingly, her hands raised in challenge.

"Alright. Now I'm annoyed!" Zuko flexes his shoulders. "Lock the gates."

Katara smiles and throws a ball of water from her hand. Zuko watches it shoot through the air, hitting the garden's gates and encasing them in a lock made of ice. The moment he looks back to her, a second ball of water hits him in the face, completely drenching his clothes.

Zuko roars in fury. "You're going down, _PEASANT__!_"

He takes two staccato steps, launching fire from his fists. She smirks and puts them out in mid-flight with a ribbon of water from the pond. Soon enough an all-out battle is underway in the courtyard, two master benders trading blows and whirling around each other, both so accustomed to their partner's bending that the vicious fight seems more like a dance.

And Zuko has to admit, Katara knows him too well. This is exactly what he needed.

He ducks and rolls from a barrage of icicles and raises his hands, summoning a wave of fire.

Zuko laughs in exhilaration.

Katara has picked up a lot of firebending techniques, but he's learned many tricks of his own from watching her. Zuko lunges forward with four simultaneous fire whips, breaking her ice wall defense. He suddenly spots an opening and sweeps in for the kill.

She pulls water from the grass at the last minute, freezing the ground around her.

Zuko slips. Time seems to slow.

His eyes widen as he realizes his mistake. She was _baiting_ him. But she miscalculated too.

Zuko slides on the ice and collides face-first into Katara. They hit the ground in an awkward tangle of limbs and steam, gasping for breath. The ice around them melts back into water and soaks the earth, leaving them both exhausted and covered in mud.

Katara glances around. "We, uh . . . may have ruined the garden."

A moment of silence passes, then both of them burst into laughter. Zuko pulls her on top of him and hugs her to his chest, pressing his forehead against hers. "This is why I love you."

"_Only_ this?" teases Katara. "I think you could stand to name a million more reasons."

He rolls his eyes and shuts her up with a kiss.

Soon they're caught up in another kind of dance, bodies hot and mouths yearning. Her restless hands slip his tunic off, and in retaliation he eases the dress off of her shoulders, pulls her hair free from the braid, runs his fingers under her wrappings to brush bare skin. Katara grinds her hips as she kisses him, and Zuko can't hide his hum of pleasure. She laughs into the kiss as his hands wander along her spine, tickling her.

In his mind, Zuko silently chuckles. They're half-dressed and making out in the middle of a garden. If anyone saw them like this, it would be the scandal of the decade, but neither of them care.

Katara finally pulls back from him, breathing hard, covered in mud, her eyes hazy with an emotion he's still getting familiar with.

She's perfect.

Zuko always thinks so, but in these moments she's especially beautiful. Katara raises her eyebrows teasingly, trailing a hand down his bare chest. "Since we made this mess together," she whispers against his lips, "I think we should clean up together too."

"Smooth," says Zuko, rolling his eyes. "Are you asking what I think you're asking, Katara?"

Katara grins. "Hey, interpret it how you want."

"Okay," he says, "I think I will." She suddenly squeaks when Zuko jumps to his feet, carrying her in his arms. He strides with purpose toward the other end of the garden, and Katara's eyes widen.

"Zuko? No no no! Zuko, don't you _dare_—"

Katara yelps as he tosses her into the pond, then drops in after her.

As he lands in the water with a splash, she resurfaces, spluttering indignantly. "This is _not_ what I meant by cleaning up!"

Zuko bursts into laughter, and Katara laughs with him. He places both hands on her face, brushing her damp hair behind her ears, and just takes in the sight of her.

Her cerulean eyes sparkle with happiness.

He reaches out and touches the crimson ribbon around her neck, holding her mother's pendant, and a moment of clarity strikes him. All the hesitancy he was feeling earlier seems to melt away. There are important things that the world needs to hear, and he's the one who has to say them.

Zuko knows what he must do.

. . .

When the summit meeting begins the next day, the Fire Lord starts with a declaration.

"I will say this once, and only once."

Every eye in the room, representing the entire world, is on him.

"The land where Yu Dao Colony stands once belonged to the Earth Kingdom." King Kuei nods in agreement, but Zuko ignores him. "However, for nearly a century, that land has belonged to the Fire Nation, and it still remains under our control." Disapproving whispers erupt in the hall, but Zuko ignores them. "But now, the war is over, and the question remains: whose city is Yu Dao?"

"It's mine!" snaps Kuei.

"Over my dead body!" Morishita retorts.

Zuko slams a fist on the table.

"I believe that Yu Dao belongs to no one." Zuko's voice echoes like thunder. "Not to the Earth King, not to the Fire Lord, not even to the city's mayor. No, if _anyone_ has a claim to the city, it is the citizens of Yu Dao themselves."

Many diplomats' voices echo in understanding and agreement. Kuei's jaw has dropped and Morishita is wide-eyed. Aang, in contrast, is listening carefully.

"The past is long gone," continues Zuko. "It can't be brought back. For four years we have been trying to force Yu Dao to be something that it doesn't want to be. If we force the world to conform to tradition against its will, the world will not listen. _We_ must listen. Harmony is not something that can be given. It must be found, and I believe Yu Dao has already found it." He slams his hand on the table. "Therefore, in my power as Fire Lord, I make this decree."

The hall is silent.

Zuko meets every gaze in the room. "From this day on, Yu Dao is free. It will be established as an independent city-state under a democratic government, and _anyone_ who attempts to interfere will find themselves facing not only my wrath, but the might of the entire Fire Nation."

After a moment of shock, the entire hall collapses into chaos.

A blue glow fills the air as Aang flashes the Avatar State. Everyone finally quiets down.

"This is the most peaceful solution," says the Avatar. "I stand with the Fire Lord."

"So do I," says Ambassador Katara.

"I think his reasoning is sound," adds Chief-to-Be Sokka, who has been listening carefully. "This way, no nation can claim that land and Yu Dao is no longer an issue at all. The Fire Lord is right. It's time to move on from history."

The Earth King splutters angrily. "But—you can't just—"

"Just take the damn offer, Bear Boy," snaps General Toph. "You won't get anything better."

One by one, other diplomats add their voices to the consensus until Morishita and Kuei finally agree as well. The Fire Lord sits back in his chair triumphantly. Not far across the table, Katara flashes him a silent grin, and Zuko smiles back.

. . .

It is the night of the summer solstice.

The ballroom is packed with guests from around the world. Suddenly a whispering roar travels through the crowd, as the most important figure of the night, the host himself, enters the hall. But it is not the Fire Lord that has gathered so much attention.

It is the waterbender holding his arm, walking beside him.

Zuko and Katara step up to the stage, and the Fire Lord raises his hand. The crowd quiets down. He looks around, spotting so many familiar faces.

Aang. Sokka. Toph. Suki. His mother. Uncle Iroh. Hakoda. Gran Gran.

Everyone is watching him, and from the looks on their faces they've already guessed what he is about to say, but Zuko is still nervous.

He looks over to Katara and she smiles.

She's beautiful in that moment, her smile warm and her gaze encouraging.

And just like that, once again, all his hesitancy fades away.

Zuko looks out to the crowd. "Thank you all for gracing the Fire Nation with your presence. This solstice banquet marks the end of the annual summit of nations. It has been a tiring week of diplomacy, and I am proud to say many global issues have been resolved in this summit. Tonight, we celebrate another successful year. As your host, I hope you enjoy the festivities."

He watches many nods and smiles in the crowd.

"I have one other announcement to make," he continues. "Most of you know Lady Katara. She is a hero of the war, a master waterbender, an ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe." Zuko grins. "As some of you may have heard, she is also the woman I love. And we have decided . . ."

He pauses and she steps forward. Her grin matches his.

"We've decided," says Katara, "that we wish to marry sometime this year."

The silence is deafening.

Zuko waves. "Enjoy the banquet, everyone! I wish you all a happy summer solstice."

He steps off the stage, hand-in-hand with Katara, as the crowd explodes into raucous conversation. Many people have moved toward the food and music, but most are still standing around gossiping about what they just heard. Katara looks around and laughs. "So," she says. "Now they know."

He nods. "Now everyone knows."

Katara taps his shoulder and gestures to movement in the crowd. "Gran Gran and your mother are coming! Sokka and my father are right behind them!"

The Fire Lord gulps. "Maybe we should have told them privately before making that announcement."

"You're the one who suggested we surprise them!" she scoffs. "It's too late for second thoughts now. They're coming! Quick! We have to hide!"

Zuko looks around for a hiding spot.

His eyes settle on a dense crowd of people nearby, and he grins.

"Katara," he whispers. "Wanna dance?"

. . .


	24. Day 6: Affirm

_AN: Zutara week, day 6! This is it, folks, the moment I've been building up to all this time!_

* * *

**Affirm**

_Love me like there ain't another day_  
_Lead with the heart, ain't that the only way?_  
_I keep thinking 'bout how much we changed today_  
_When all of this is over, I . . ._

_\- Dermot Kennedy_

* * *

Katara is dying.

She knows it, and she suspects that a small part of her always knew it would end this way.

After all, Katara was born into a world at war, and that was the only world she knew for so long. It's fitting that she's now giving her life to help protect the world from another war. As she takes her last breaths, she's grateful to the spirits for one thing.

Zuko is right there beside her.

"Katara," he whispers breathlessly. "It'll be okay. You're going to be okay."

He's holding her in his arms as she bleeds out, and Katara's hazy mind has the strangest feeling that they've been here before—the two of them, in this very moment.

Above them the sky is stormy, in the height of Fire Nation monsoon season.

Katara is glad she can feel the rain one last time before she leaves this world. It feels _right_, as if even the heavens are crying for everything they've lost. Suki is dead, Sokka and Toph are missing. Aang is still out there, fighting for his life. Zuko is defeated, and Katara is shattered from the inside out. She never thought it would end like this, but now that it is, she thinks it couldn't end any other way.

If her death can forge a path to a better world, she will gladly accept that.

As much as she wants one, her story—the Gaang's story—could never have a happy ending. No, Katara knows that happy is not in the ending, but in the middle. In all the years of peace after the war, in days spent together and seasons shared with friends and family.

Katara coughs up blood. Her vision is swimming, but her focus never leaves his golden eyes.

She smiles up at him. "Zuko. Listen, Zuko. I need you to know—"

"No, don't talk," he whispers. "You need to save your energy. Just hold on."

Katara shakes her head. "No use . . . our time is short."

"What?" Zuko's eyes widen. "Don't say that. Don't you _dare_ say that, Katara!"

Katara tries to laugh. The motion sends a shockwave of pain through her body. "I love you, Zuko." She drinks in the sight of him, battered and bloody but still unbroken. "I hope you know," she murmurs, "that you're the best thing I've ever had in life. Take care . . . of Kya and Izumi."

"_Katara!_" he rasps, eyes welling with tears. "Don't do this to me! Please."

The bleeding in all her internal organs is drowning her in agony, and it takes her entire willpower to just hold onto her senses. Zuko's bloodstained hands caress her face, his fingers running through her hair. He knows. Katara is sure that he knows how this is going to end.

Lightning arcs through the clouds above, illuminating his glistening eyes.

Katara is glad the rain is hiding her tears.

"Zuko . . ."

"I'm here, Katara. I'm here."

"Do you remember . . ." She coughs again and doubles over in pain.

Zuko pulls her closer to his chest, comforting her. He can do nothing to save her, because she is past healing, but his warmth helps ease the pain. She leans her forehead against his.

Katara smiles. "Do you remember when we—"

She's unable to finish the sentence, because she doesn't know how to.

Katara knows what she wants to say, but she can't find enough words. They've shared so many moments together, and every one of them she treasures. She wants to remember all of them, but her life is fading and there is one moment she must remind him of.

One single moment, the moment that defined them.

Memories sweep her away like a flood.

. . .

_Do you remember when we first met?_

The ship's black shadow looms over the village, an omen of violence and destruction.

She watches the iron ramp fall, crushing her village's snow walls, and she feels shock and terror and anger all at once as this metal monstrosity invades her home.

Then the soldiers march down the ramp.

In that moment, Katara sees _him_ for the first time. He is everything that she hates, from his red armor to his golden eyes to his cruel fire. He walks arrogantly, looks down on her, threatens her family. In that moment, he becomes her enemy.

But beneath all her tumultuous emotions, beneath the fury and the fear, Katara has the strangest feeling.

She's never met this boy in her life, but Katara _knows_ those eyes.

. . .

_Do you remember when we first fought?_

"Well, aren't you a big girl now?"

The voice blindsides her.

"No," she whispers.

There's no way he could be here in the Spirit Oasis, there's no way, but he is, and she both fears and respects his tenacity. But she's angry. The last time they met, he had her tied up, and she's still not over that.

Katara meets every fireball he throws with her own waterbending.

They're evenly matched, blow for blow, but she has the slightest advantage at night, and she fights harder because she has someone to protect. Even so, she almost forgets about Aang for a moment. The thrill of the fight overtakes her. When she pins Zuko to the wall with a wave of ice, she wants to walk up to him and grin viciously and ask him how it feels to be the helpless one.

But a moment later daybreak arrives, and Zuko turns the tables on her.

As she falls to a barrage of fire, Katara vows that next time, she _won't_ lose. She can't lose again. Not to him.

"You rise with the moon," he says victoriously. "I rise with the sun."

In that moment, he becomes her motivation.

. . .

_Do you remember when we first understood each other?_

She's stuck with him, imprisoned under Ba Sing Se. The cold crystal walls and the deafening silence and the fact that she's trapped underground are all getting to her, so she vents her frustration at him.

He barely even turns around.

All the fire is gone from his eyes, as if he's just a fading ember of who he once was.

She doesn't know what she was expecting, but his stillness only angers her further. Katara says everything on her mind, insults him and vilifies him, aims to wound him with her words, to bring back the fiery Zuko she knew. Everything she hates about the Fire Nation, she pins on this arrogant boy.

"You're the Fire Lord's son," she finishes bitterly. "Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood."

He turns. "You don't know what you're talking about," rasps Zuko.

That hits a little too close to home.

"How _dare_ you?" she growls. "You have _no __idea_ what this war has put me through. Me, personally!" Her voice breaks like glass. "The Fire Nation took my mother away from me."

She can't hold back the tears. Katara buries her face in her knees to hide the fact that she's burning with shame, because she's broken down crying in front of her worst enemy. But in a way, she's glad she's breaking down in front of him and not her friends.

Katara has forgotten how long it's been since she cried for her mother.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "That's something we have in common."

And then all her tears are gone.

Katara _knows_ that voice. She knows it because she hears it every day, hears the raw pain hidden behind a thin veneer of willpower, hears the lonely nights and the silent sobs and the aching emptiness inside.

For the first time, she thinks maybe they're not so different at all.

Soon there's silence and apologies. She tries to reach out, to explain herself, but she can't seem to find the right words. She only hurts him more. He speaks of scars and curses and destiny, and she tries to think of something, some way to reach him.

All at once it strikes her. The scar.

"Maybe you could be free of it," she murmurs.

They're so close in that moment.

She's close enough to cut through his disbelief and his defeated attitude and all the stone walls he's raised around his soul. Katara leans in. She reaches out and gently touches his scar, and he lets her.

In that moment, just as he gives her a piece of his heart, he takes a piece of hers too.

. . .

_Do you remember when we finally became friends?_

"Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing."

She thinks Aang is right, but not in the way he believes.

"But I didn't forgive him," she says.

Healing.

What Yon Rha did to her, that will never heal. There's no way to fix a gaping hole in her heart, so there is no way she can even begin to forgive Yon Rha.

But Zuko . . .

She sees him behind Aang, standing quietly.

His betrayal in Ba Sing Se broke a piece of her, broke her more than she cares to admit. She hated him afterward for that, because she didn't understand how one boy who had been her enemy could make her _care_ so much. But she does still care about him, and now she knows he cares too.

He's shown it in everything he's done.

In all the guidance he gives to Aang. In the brotherly affection he shows Toph. In whatever weird manly moments he shares with Sokka. In the fellowship he and Suki have as warriors. In his strange but adorable friendship with Appa. Whether knowingly or not, Zuko has healed the piece of Katara's heart that he broke, simply by helping her take care of the other pieces.

And finally, he was there for her.

He was there when she needed him the most, not to tell her what path to take, but to walk beside her as she chose her own path. In that, Katara sees a true friend.

She looks to Zuko, and for the first time since Ba Sing Se, she _sees_ him.

"I'll never forgive him." Katara smiles hopefully at Zuko. "But I am ready to forgive you." On impulse, she surges forward and hugs him. Zuko's arms are warm and comforting, and her heart feels full.

Katara thinks she just found something she's been missing in life.

In that moment, he becomes her best friend.

. . .

_Do you remember when we saved each other's lives?_

"Thank you, Katara."

She holds him close and her eyes fill with tears, because that's a silly thing to say. He's lying on the ground, his chest red and charred, and that's such a _silly_ thing to say.

He took a bolt of lightning for her.

Zuko gave his life to protect hers, and now _he's_ the grateful one? All she did was heal him.

"I think," she whispers with a smile, "I'm the one who should be thanking you."

Katara can still feel the blood pounding in his heart, through his veins. She can feel his pulse in her soul, and she can't stop listening to it. The rhythm sounds strong, reassuring, _familiar_.

Zuko returns the smile. Katara's own heart trembles.

In that moment, he becomes her world.

. . .

_Do you remember when we fell in love?_

She's not sure when it happened.

It just added up, in little moments over the years soon after the war.

The days they spent together, the countless moonrises and dawns that they shared. An honest conversation one night in Ba Sing Se. An explosive argument on the eve of the Academy's opening. A year of regret and letters back and forth and constant daydreaming. A reunion over tea, a passionate dance at a wedding, a silly and awkward first kiss. A night of confessions and stargazing on the beach.

Looking back, Katara doesn't know when she fell in love.

It snuck up behind her, took her by surprise, just as Zuko has a habit of doing.

. . .

_Do you remember when we—_

A thousand other moments cross her mind.

Some moments were shared with others, from quiet evenings over tea with elders, to family meals with their own two daughters, to reunions with their old friends. Trips together across the Fire Nation, or to South Pole City, or across the world for diplomatic summits and birthdays and anniversaries. The moments they shared with others are beautiful, and she holds them close to her heart.

But other moments were just between the two of them.

Those moments are special to her.

Winter mornings spent in combat, summer nights under silk sheets. A million embraces and kisses and gentle touches. Countless arguments and silly conversations and secrets shared under starry skies. Every second they were together, she loved him more.

In all those moments, he became her soul, and she became his.

But none of those moments could define them.

Well, none except one.

. . .

Katara finally finds the right words.

"Do you remember when we made that promise on the beach?"

Zuko laughs despite his tears. "How could I forget it?"

Katara smiles softly.

"I'm going to say it again."

. . .

_Do you remember when we made that promise on the beach?_

The summer sun bathes Ember Island in gold.

Katara's fingers idly trace characters in the white sand, her eyes watching the sea. The waves kick up the water in a spray, and sometimes the sunlight catches them at just the right angle, and they sparkle like diamonds—exactly as Zuko once told her at the Western Air Temple, long ago.

"Katara," he whispers by her ear.

She turns and rolls her eyes, not even surprised at how he snuck up on her this time.

"Nice try," she drawls.

Zuko chuckles and settles on the sand beside her, handing over a cup of iced lemon tea. His arm settles around her waist and she leans into his shoulder with a lazy smile. They're on their honeymoon, enjoying two sweet weeks of summer and freedom before they have to plunge together into the life of Fire Lord and Fire Lady.

It's nice to be here once again. This beach feels like home. Katara tentatively breaks the silence.

"Zuko," she begins.

"Yeah?"

"I don't like our marriage vows."

"_WHAT?_" Zuko coughs, nearly choking on his iced tea. "What do you mean? Why not?"

Katara giggles and rubs his back comfortingly. "Not that I don't like them, but they're just . . . kind of bland, you know? I mean, '_Til death do us part_? Seriously? Your Fire Nation traditions are so boring!"

Zuko rolls his eyes. "I don't remember the Water Tribe traditions being any more fun."

"Not even the wedding drinking contest between the groom and the father?" she teases. "If I remember correctly, you were out cold for eighteen hours after that."

Zuko pauses. "Okay, that was a fun tradition," he agrees. "Hakoda can really hold his liquor. But the rest of your marriage traditions were just as boring as mine!"

"They were _not_!" she objects.

"Were _too_!"

Katara sighs in exasperation, leaning in and kissing him to shut him up. When she pulls away, he's finally quiet and listening, his eyes amused.

"All of that is besides the point," says Katara. "What I was going to say is, I don't like our vows—"

"Yeah, you said that already," he teases.

"—so I made us a new one!"

Zuko blinks. "You _what_?"

"I was working on it while you got the tea." She grins. "I like this vow better, and I think you will too."

He raises an eyebrow.

Katara's smile softens as she leans down to trace words in the sand.

When she's done, she looks up at Zuko's face nervously. "Well? What do you think?"

Zuko reads and rereads the characters, then gazes at her for a moment, his expression neutral. Katara thinks this isn't fair. She can never tell what he's thinking when he has that expression.

"It's silly, I know," says Katara, blushing. "I just . . . wanted to do it for us. A secret between us, you know? I know it's not—"

He shushes her with a finger to her lips.

"I think," Zuko finally whispers, "that we should say it together." Her heart skips a beat. Katara thinks she's never loved him more than she does right now. Zuko grins, taking both her hands. "You ready?"

"Yeah." Katara takes a deep breath, then smiles. "Okay. I'm ready."

When they speak, they speak with one voice.

_"I love you, and I always will. I'll love you for the rest of eternity, and not even death can stop me."_

In this moment, they are the happiest they've ever been.

This moment is perfect.

. . .

_I'm going to say it again._

Katara gazes up at him and smiles.

"I love you," she affirms, "and I always will. I'll love you . . ."

Zuko leans in and brushes his lips against hers, silencing her. Katara thinks this moment, as sad as it is, feels perfect too, simply because they're together. She doesn't even feel the pain anymore.

He whispers the rest of the vow into the kiss.

"For the rest of eternity," he completes, "and not even death can stop me."

Katara's soul is finally at peace.

. . .


	25. Day 7: Rebirth

_AN: It's over folks! Day 7 of Zutara Week 2020! Consider this an epilogue of sorts._

* * *

**Rebirth**

_And all along, I believed I would find you_  
_Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years_  
_I'll love you for a thousand more . . ._

_\- Christina Perri_

* * *

Zuko doesn't know how to live without her.

Without Katara, his world has lost an entire dimension of color and emotion, and he feels thirteen once again. Like a part of him has died and scarred over. Like he's been banished from the only home he's ever known. Like his soul is a ship wandering at sea, chasing the fragments of a forgotten dream.

No, Zuko has no idea how to live for himself after she's gone, so he lives for others instead.

Zuko lives for his surviving friends, for his people, and for his daughters. He raises his children with love. He guides his nation with wisdom. He keeps the world at peace with his constant efforts. When the Avatar is found once again, this time a young waterbender, Zuko takes it upon himself to be her guiding light, the same way Iroh once was for him. In Korra, he sees a little bit of everyone he lost. He sees Suki's ferocity, Aang's playfulness, Iroh's kindness.

Most of all, Korra reminds him of Katara so much, in her compassion and her sheer stubbornness and her beautiful smile.

Korra becomes like a third daughter to him.

With Avatar Aang gone, it's up to Zuko and Sokka and Toph to keep the world going straight while Korra grows up, and they do. The three of them get to work, restructuring the world into something that can withstand the test of time, something not separate but whole.

They reshape their respective nations from the inside for decades, transforming them into democracies and erasing the lines that divide peoples, until finally, in his old age, Zuko is able to look upon a world united and free of war. At sixty-eight, he sits as a guest at the first assembly of the United Nations, and he thinks Katara would be proud.

Years later, when Zuko takes his last breath, he is surrounded by his loving family. Even so, he still feels lonely.

In his last moments, as his vision fades to black, Zuko sees _her_ blue eyes.

He smiles. "Hi, Katara."

. . .

The first time, he doesn't recognize her.

He's a young refugee from the Archipelago, here in Ba Sing Se looking for work to support his sick sister and his aging mother. She's practically nobility, the daughter of a wealthy entrepreneur from the North. She left her home against her father's will to study medicine at the University.

They meet in a coffeeshop where he works.

He doesn't recognize her, but she smiles and says thank you when he makes her order exactly. Her watch is broken so she asks the time, he answers with a joke and a teasing smile.

She's in a hurry, but for some reason she likes the warm sound of this barista's voice, so she keeps talking to him. He delays her for thirty seconds.

Those thirty seconds save her life.

A huge bomb goes off in the street, along with dozens all around the city.

The world that Avatar Korra and her friends left behind may be a peaceful world, but it is by no means a perfect one. There is still inequality everywhere, and where there is inequality, conflict is sure to follow. The tensions that have torn the Fire Archipelago apart in recent decades have long been festering in Ba Sing Se as well. Today is the day those tensions explode, quite literally.

When they realize what's happening, she runs into the street to help save people with her waterbending, and he runs after her. They find themselves moving together like clockwork, putting out fires, lifting rubble, saving lives.

As they work, they encounter a very young and very frantic Avatar Wukong racing through the streets.

The young earthbender takes one look at them and recruits them into helping him defend the city from radical terrorists who want to destroy all the world's governments. The two agree. Soon the son of dragons and the daughter of the moon find themselves caught up in a war once again.

Over the years when he travels with her and the Avatar, he cannot help but shake the feeling that this isn't the first time, that he's done this before.

Then by chance he's separated from her. He ends up with the rebels, and he realizes that the enemies are not what he assumed. They are poor, struggling, tired, like him. They just want a chance in life, and they are fed up with the capitalist system that is designed to exploit them. When he understands, he tries to help their efforts.

She thinks he's fallen to evil, and he thinks she would never understand how it feels to be caught in the cruel jaws of poverty.

But the rebels take a darker turn: they want to kill the Avatar permanently, just as the Red Lotus once attempted to kill Avatar Korra, and he cannot let that happen. So he turns sides once again, running back to _her_, to warn her and the Avatar about what's coming.

The two reunite. She realizes she loves him, but she doesn't know how to tell him, and there's no time. They help Avatar Wukong defend the city that has become their home, desperately trying to stop the civil war in their streets. They bring peace between the two sides, but at a high cost. This time, it's him who dies first. She confesses her feelings as he dies in her arms.

This, too, seems familiar. Death feels like an old friend when it comes to claim him.

But the most familiar feeling of all is her eyes.

Her eyes are a brilliant blue.

. . .

The second time, he greets her with a smile.

They're both kids living in the same neighborhood, and their mothers are close friends. They grow up together. It's fun and messy and not all the memories are happy, but they share so many years together as children. They make a group of lifelong friends, they fall in love, they break up.

Years pass too quickly, and the peaceful world they live in is upended by politics and hatred and culture. Though they split up and walk opposite roads, they don't forget each other.

When they reunite, they're spies on opposite sides of an invisible war.

They fight and cheat and claw against each other, but over the course of events both of them come to the conclusion that the war does not exist and that the world is being ruled by an invisible hand. The Hand has built a huge network of contacts. The world's political and military organizations are all secretly under their command, and all the fighting is a distraction. War is business, and the entire world is being milked like a moose-cow.

When an organization is formed to rebel and overthrow the Hand, they're the ones on the front lines.

He fights back to back with her, and with their old friends. Along the way they fall in love again, but they'll never be together in a world as dangerous as this, so they brush their feelings aside.

Over decades they overthrow the invisible Hand, and the world is free from a tyranny it never even knew existed. But the leader of the Hand is clever, and he escapes while spinning lies to gather public support. The monster needs to be put down. So they volunteer for the most dangerous mission of their lives.

They walk right into a trap.

Of course, they finish the mission, but the cost is high. This time she dies first.

He watches the light fading from her eyes and he thinks he'll be chasing that light for the rest of eternity. He doesn't know how right he is.

. . .

By the third time, he recognizes her on sight.

By the fourth, he asks her whether they've met before.

By the fifth, he wonders how many past lives they must have shared to feel such familiarity.

The cycle continues, over and over. Two best friends on opposite sides of a war that divides their people. Every time, they fall in love. Every time, they end the war and bring peace to the world. Every time, the cost of victory is the same: one of them dies trying.

. . .

At the end of the millennium, all the spirits gather for the Great Consensus.

The spirits discuss many things, from how much humanity has changed to the future of the world.

"And what about _those_ two?" asks Koh the Face Stealer.

Wan Shi Tong nods. "_Those_ two. They are quite the anomaly. I recall that they go as far back as Oma and Shu, perhaps even further."

"If they keep this up they will transcend to the Spirit World," adds Koh. "Like the Dragon of the West did not too long ago."

Other spirits voice their concern. The spirits are anxious whenever anything defies the natural laws of the universe.

New human souls are being formed from nothingness every day, but old human souls are reincarnated until they find peace in this world. Most souls endure a few cycles of rebirth until they find peace and salvation in one of their lives, which finally ends their cycle of reincarnation. Very few souls take more than seven cycles to find peace.

The Avatar is one of them, and she is present at the Great Consensus. She is eternal. She is not quite human. She is an exception. But _those_ two souls, they are completely human. Why, then, have they gone through so many thousands of years of reincarnation?

"They are special," sighs the Avatar Spirit. "I've encountered them many times in my past lives."

"Why do they not find peace?" questions Wan Shi Tong. "It has been thousands of years!"

In the abstract sky of the Spirit World, Agni speaks.

_"They have found peace."_

The Great Consensus erupts into surprise. Agni rarely ever speaks.

"Impossible," says Wan Shi Tong. "They remain trapped in the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. How could they possibly be at peace?"

Tui and La circle around each other, eternal light and absolute darkness. Tui suddenly stops circling and rises to her true mortal form—Yue.

Princess Yue smiles. "I've watched those two for a long time. They were my good friends, long ago. Agni is right, they have found peace, but not in the way other souls do. There is peace in the eternal dance that La and I are trapped in. We circle each other forever, but we do not tire, because we both have everything we need in the other. I believe they are the same way."

"Tui is right," says the Avatar Spirit. "The daughter of the moon and the son of dragons have danced around each other for as long as my memory serves. Perhaps they will continue to do so until everything physical fades away, and then they will join us here."

. . .

When Zuko wakes again, he feels free.

Emptiness fills him. An endless joy seems to echo in his soul.

He looks around at the perfect Ember Island coastline before him. The sand is cool, and gentle waves tickle his feet. This beach was home to the best moments in his life. Now it is the last place he will ever see.

The stars shine faintly above, and the world is on the edge of darkness and light, the line between night and day. He can see the sun halfway below the horizon, painting one side of the sky in red and pink and gold. The moon shines bright and full on the other side, illuminating the darkness like a silver flame. Zuko can't tell whether it's morning or evening. A feeling of timelessness fills the air.

He looks to his side. Her eyes are brilliant and blue as always.

Zuko grins. "I've missed you."

Katara smiles back. "What are you talking about? I've been by your side the whole time!"

"I know," he says, hugging her to his chest. "But I still missed you, Katara."

She hugs him back and buries her head in his shoulder. "I missed you too, Zuko."

They both turn and look around when they hear noise coming from the beach house behind them. Aang's high voice rises over the commotion at the dinner party, followed by Toph's loud grumble and Sokka's laughter. He can hear snippets of other voices too, old friends and family, their daughters, Uncle Iroh.

"Where _are_ we?" asks Zuko.

Katara laughs, a familiar sound that makes his soul sing with happiness.

She holds his gaze for a long moment, then smiles and leans in. They kiss for the first and millionth time, and Zuko finally understands. They've danced around each other for all eternity. Now their souls are finally at rest, but they shared a vow with each other long ago. They'll both keep it forever.

"If I had to guess, I think we're in paradise," says Katara. "But I don't think it really matters."

Zuko smiles in agreement. "As long as you're with me, any place is paradise."

They sit together on the beach, watching the moonrise fade to dawn.

. . .

* * *

_/_

_AN: It's been a fun ride, everyone.__ I hope you all enjoyed it! __I would love to write more Zutara moments, but I think 25 chapters is more than enough for this fic. I never even thought I'd write so many chapters. I know the ending to the story was abrupt but I had to wrap it up somehow. __Thanks to all my readers for encouraging me and for staying with me!_

_If you liked my work, I just started a new Blutara fic! Check it out!_

_Zutara Week 2020 is over, but as Mae Whitman once said, every week is Zutara Week, baby ;)_


End file.
